We were of the mindset that you give a 12 year old web access with parental oversite so they can learn how to deal with all the junk coming at them from phones and the internet. Ds#2 has done ok. He still has some issues with staying up too late and we remove the temptation for a while. Ds#3 has been a nightmare. He has shown some addictive behaviors and is totally device free. We have a Mac and I limit his server to the ability to use word processing only. We had to get a safe to hold unused devices because he figured out ways to get around passcodes and find the devices that didn’t have them. He may not get anything until he’s much older. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

If you want to join a gym, I highly recommend CrossFit. It does cardio and weights at the same time. After two months I am noticing a significant change in my cardio and ability to lift weights. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I found a classical Christian co-op that does have all of the op wants. The difference is, one tutor is not expected to do it all. The co-op I found has teachers for different subjects who can actually devote time to one subject and do a good job on their one subject rather than trying to do a good job on six subjects. I’d much rather have a mock trial experience with someone who only taught government type classes and actually has time to do a mock trial well rather than an overworked homeschool mom who is trying to pull off a mock trial in the midst of having to teach/learn a ton of other subjects at the same time. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Graphic novels of classic books. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

My third baby was the most active. He is the most mellow kid now - always has been. My guess is that he just wanted his own space and was trying to move to get his own alone space.

And how does one do this? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I've only known two men that were wanting to retire at the 20 year mark and both of them were required to complete one more deployment just before retirement. Both families just stayed in the same location when the dh deployed. I'm wondering if that is a way to make people rethink retirement and either stay longer or get out before they get the benefit of 20 years.

I also understand “I†statements. But I will only use this type of conversation with my husband and closest relationships. There has to be a level of trust when you engage in that type of conversation. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I do actually think she could figure out negative social situations. She’s one who stands up to bullies for herself and others—she’ll even stand up for a kid she doesn’t like if they’re being bullied. The situations she doesn’t know how to deal with, we talk through situations quite a bit. This school is wacky. I do feel that sometimes she should just ignore bad behavior and just chalk it up to a kid having a bad day. I’ve also coached her on how to change the subject with a kid trying to start an argument. She would be much better using her wits. She has a pretty good social sense. But her desire to please and do things correctly has messed with her internal feeling of what to do per situation. I guess I’m going to talk to the counselor who has also tried to help her with this weird social order to see if what dd thinks is the way to act really is their policy. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I am trying to give my dd other skills to deal with mean people. Mean people are everywhere. The problem is, this school has dictated how she’s supposed to deal with them. Dd can’t take my suggestions because it’s going against the school which basically pits me against the school. I am very willing to help her work through these issues and know they will come, but I have to go against the school in order to help her. It’s annoying. Society doesn’t work like this. If an random person I didn’t know well yelled at me in anger, the last thing I would do is point out their mid-behavior much less pursue them to point it out and demand a thank you for pointing it out. Craziness! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

This school will never work for her. We are not going back. Everyone I’ve met continues to rave about this school. I feel like I’m the crazy one for thinking this system is awful. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I’ve told her to ignore the social rules. She can’t. They drill these rules into the students to the point where dd says, “I can’t stopâ€. She wants to do her best. Her best is following their rules. I’m setting up a meeting with the school counselor to see if there’s any solution. If dd was begging me to come home, she would be home now. She wants to stay hence the hesitancy. So, I’m going to try one last time and see where we get. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I’ve written before about my dd in a public charter school and the wacky discipline system they have that pits kids against each other. The social rules got wackier. I am going to talk to the school counselor to see if anything can be done but we are at the breaking point of removing her from school. She came home yesterday totally upset. Another one of the rules (aside from the hand signals warning another child of their potential to get in trouble) involves what the school calls a “foulâ€. A child insulted my daughter and proceeded to walk away. Per school “rules†my dd has to pursue this child and give her a “foulâ€. This means dd uses her “I†language and it goes something like this. “I had my feelings hurt when you insulted meâ€. The other child is then supposed to give dd two compliments and say thank you for pointing out my bad behavior. So, dd did everything she was supposed to do and the other child basically insulted her again, gave her two superficial compliments and basically hurt dd’s feelings again. I asked dd what happens if the child doesn’t go by the social contract in cases like these. There is no way to deal with those cases except tell a teacher which further pits children against each other. Dd can’t just walk away and forgive he child in her heart. She is supposed to make amends with a child who most likely has no intention of making amends and is still in a heated situation. So, I have a list of what these policies do to a child like mine who wants to follow the rules and expects a different outcome. I need to talk to someone about this and maybe explain why this policy is hurtful to children. We are also seriously considering removing her but I feel like it’s just giving up. I still plan on trying a different charter and don’t want to send a message that when things get hard, we give up. My dd wants to go to school because she likes her teacher. She doesn’t want to stop yet she’s coming home upset or crying daily mainly because of this stupid social policy. So, I need a little more consideration why this social contract policy is horrible and some thoughts to back up why I’m not a crazy parent. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

This is a child that if someone else doesn’t show strong leadership, she will. The school has dictated that the whole class is responsible for classroom behavior (vs. self government—you behave because it’s the right thing to do). So, for her, it’s created a strong leader vacuum. As parents, we’ve learned to be unbending about rules and may to others seem a little more strict with her than our other children. But, for her, it gives her security to know she doesn’t have to take care of things herself and just be a child. I can see her running an orphanage someday in another country or evangelizing a whole country changing its social welfare system for the better. She has a good heart and the force of character to do it. I have told her that she will most likely have to deal with mean people her whole life and this is a small start to getting a tough skin while walking in kindness. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

She's angry. I think kids who have been in the system since kindergarten know a little how to deal with the absurdities better. She has always been able to see through things to see inconsistencies and what she calls "stupid" ideas. Today was a good day. I told her to just stay away from the little girl who blurted out and hurt her feelings yesterday. Then the problem doesn't escalate and they can just let things calm down. She did take my advice and laid low. So, no confrontations and peaceful day. I guess my job right now is to help her figure out relationships and how to relate to mean people because they are always around. This school will be a bad blip in her life. The good thing is - our relationship is much better and her intensity has calmed down quite a bit. We still have our moments, but I'm not wiped out from all day daily interaction so I can handle them much better. Yes, the classroom management system is not healthy. I do plan on talking to someone about it. I'm pretty sure there are other kids who desperately want to please their teacher and do their best. For those more intense children, this is an impediment to learning.

I've asked her if she just wants to finish the year at home. Honestly, she would learn more at home. She doesn't want to. Like I mentioned, she loves loves her teacher. I very much do believe that she feels like she's helping him. She's in a way taking on some of the adult responsibility that should be on his shoulders but due to the screwy system has been placed on the students. I keep telling her that he's a big man and he can take care of himself. She'll get upset when he is reprimanded for things like bringing the class late to lunch (yup - in front of the kids -- way to uphold the teacher's authority). I've been thinking of pulling her out now and dh is pretty adamant that she stays. We'll see what today's drama is. BTW, if she had to pick between being right or being happy and having friends, she would choose happy and friends. The times she tends to get her feeling hurt is when she's trying to be helpful/caring and someone takes her concern the wrong way. She's learned to be cautious with certain people that tend to be on the mean side. I think a lot of her problems stem from just not encountering mean people in her life that often added to her tendency to want to be in charge.

This is her first year at a full time public school. She was in a one day a week homeschool enrichment program that she absolutely loved. She still compares the behavior of the homeschooled kids to the public school kids. She can’t understand why one set of kids can behave and one set can’t. She never came home upset from the homeschool program. I really thought she could handle full time since she’s so so social. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I think her rigidity has some to do with right and wrong but a lot more to do with promised rewards that are constantly never earned. She wants the reward at the end of the week that the teacher wants to give but the classroom behavior always interferes. I’ve promised her rewards on Friday if the class doesn’t earn it. She still gets upset though. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

The classroom policy is a whole school policy. Each class has different hand signals to warn kids beforehand that their behavior may get in trouble. There’s a whole schoolwide mantra for this system. They drill it into the kids to the point dd can recall the rules quickly. She is being encouraged to be black and white and judge mental of others actions. It reinforces her behavior that really needs to tone down. I did have a meeting with the teacher and school counselor. At that meeting, the teacher stopped taking away personal behavior “points†for bad classroom behavior (also school policy suggested). Just doing that one thing made her anger at kid behavior go down tons. Other classroom policies are school wide so even if we tried to change her classroom situation, I would find myself fighting the administration who set up the policy. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Btw, dd is given kudos and personal points for helping manage the classroom per school rules. They encourage and reward children to help other children to behave. I’ve told dd to just worry about herself, but her desire to be a good student and help her teacher whom she loves over rides what I say right now. I hate the system. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I don’t believe she is ASD. She does get along well with a wide variety of friends and is more malleable with them although she still likes to be in charge. We talk a lot when she comes home from school with issues. Yesterday, when she felt bullied, she told me the whole story. I did explain the difference between a child who says the first thing they think (which 10 year olds do) and a true bully. We talk about self government vs. external government. We talk about being mean vs. asking a question out of curiosity. She does have access to the school counselor because she was having stress issues related to classroom noise. The writing down mid-deeds was actually discussed but we both figured out that dd needs to learn to ignore more than anything else. So, I continue to tell dd to ignore the school rules concerning students policing students which is hard for my Type A dd. She is on a lottery for a different charter school and this time, I learned to ask a lot of questions. It sounds like it will be a better fit in a lot of ways. We’ll see if she gets in. Otherwise, we’re back to homeschooling. Sigh... Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I had that same exact crock pot that set the fire in the show. I just threw it out three weeks ago. I have protected my family! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

She has a new teacher. The class has only gotten the incentive for the week once or twice. They usually lose it by Tuesday. It got to a point that I told dd if the class lost it, I would make her Friday special. Often, the class gets the incentive anyway not due to earning it but some teacher loop hole so what’s the point of losing it in the first place? It’s a neighborhood charter school so mostly kids from our large neighborhood go there. We are not returning partially because of how the school wide class management system is and partially because “innovated education†in their mission statement means “we will use all the technology we can to educate childrenâ€. Btw, dd just asked me to homeschool her again. This is new. She has been opposed to it in the past. We are finishing out the year so we’ll see if she continues to feel this way. Regardless, it’s DH and my decision with consideration of her desires and a lot of prayer. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

My DD is not showing signs of anxiety at all. If anything, she desires justice. Usually "upset" with her means angry - angry that the class won't behave and angry that they keep losing privileges. There is a lot of what I consider to be a bad discipline policy at that school that basically pits students against each other to help with classroom management. I also don't believe that the teacher has complete control of the class and the school's incentive program he's supposed to use is obviously not working but he doesn't seem to have any other incentives that he can use. Sometimes her frustration leads to tears. Mostly, it's when she's felt bullied which usually is some child spoke rudely to her. So, if she does wind up being homeschooled as a default and anyone brings up the socialization question, I will have a mouthful for them.

About 3-4 days out of 5, Dd is coming home upset. Sometimes it's about how she doesn't understand the school work, but mostly, it's the social dynamic of a public school. She gets bugged by her class because they don't behave as well as she thinks they should and they lose privileges, she is hurt when other girls say mean things to her, she is bugged when other kids make faces at her, and the list goes on and on. Basically, social dynamics are really hard for her. She's basically a fourth grade policeman and wants everyone to obey. She will stick her nose into situations that it doesn't belong and more and more other students are sick of it and calling her out on it. Honestly, I'm surprised it took this long to catch up with her. She does have friends that enjoy her and lots of friends wanting to play with her after school, but there's always going to be the "mean" girls or the "honest" girls and she's having trouble with that dynamic. I don't want to homeschool her. I feel like a counselor trying to explain human behavior to her so she can adjust. She does need to adjust a bit. Her personality can be a little abrasive at times but her intent is kindness and justice for those oppressed. Despite all these woes she brings home, she still is insistent on going to school. We do have her in a lottery system for a different school and do want her to go to it, but knowing that social dynamics are similar in any group of kids all the same age, I'm starting to question that decision. I sooo don't want to homeschool her, but am I looking at having no choice in the situation to preserve her emotional future?