If only the bad guys would come out and say they were bad and if only only good guys were allowed to say they were good. Bad guys claiming to be good but actually being bad seems to be the crux of a lot of issues.

dp

From the responses I’ve seen, no. But they feel like saying “men” isn’t fair because they themselves are good guys. It reminds me a bit about how statics say 1 in 4 or 1 in 3 women have been assaulted by a man and yet no man ever seems to know a dude who could/would/has assaulted a woman. All these men that are doing the assaulting seem to just pop over from a different dimension, assault Earth women, then pop back.

I don’t know that something being part of a body system should mean we don’t remove it when it’s causing problems. Bodies are weird and sometimes things need to come out. I don’t think there are any long term consequences to not having tonsils. None of my kids have had it recommended but I have nieces and nephews who have had it done. The younger they are the better they do in terms of recovery. The 5-6 year olds bounce back almost immediately, the 9-12 year olds are down a week or so, mostly bc it hurts to eat so they are cranky.

I’d probably prefer to take my chances with the man than get between a mother bear and her cubs.

Funny. If you take precautions against bears in the woods, that’s just smart, sensible. But if you take precautions against men with bad intentions you are “living in fear”.

If it’s a random man, you have no idea of his intentions or proclivities or what he might do in a situation where no one was watching. A bear is a bear. They aren’t inherently interested in humans, they don’t have dark fantasies or hidden attractions. They might kill you, but they also might wander away, the certainly won’t r*pe or torture you or lock you in a basement.

I never said anything about fear. I just pointed out that those “sensible precautions” we all take every day are predominantly precautions against the actions of a strange man. You are highly unlikely to ever be attacked walking to your car or getting gas. But if you are it’s far likelier to be by a man than a woman, and very, very unlikely to be a wild animal. When we say “sensible precautions” we are leaving unsaid that they are mostly precautions against a man with bad intentions.

You seriously take no precautions for safety? You don’t park under lights if you’re leaving after dark, or make sure to have your keys out? You let your kids go to whoever’s house and spend the night?

I do think it can be taken too far. I’ve been out with groups of women, usually homeschool moms, who will glare at and chatter about any man who comes in the vicinity. I remember one time then stopping to glare at a man who was fully ignoring us, because they thought he was “suspicious” and didn’t belong at a park. A park where people fished in the river and a park with several walking paths. I thought that was a bit much, men can just exist and not every many is dangerous. Most aren’t, especially if they are actively leaving you alone. But that doesn’t really change that when violence is done to a woman it’s most often at the hands of a man and we don’t know which ones.

When you tell your beautiful 16 year old daughter to be careful leaving work after dark, are you worried about bears or a man?? What about at the gas station or rest area? Running after dark? When you get your keys out and ready and peak in the back seat before getting your car, are you concerned about a man or a bear? Not all men, but enough to cautious about strange ones. Most people are good. But no one lets strangers babysit for a reason. Most people are good, but you don’t pick up hitchhikers for a reason. Most people are good, but how many of us don’t allow sleepovers?

Can you elaborate on this? I agree of course, women are often the loudest critics of other women. I think that’s because we are kept so insecure about our choices, everything turns into a competition. Single or married, have kids or no, stay home or work, breastfeed or bottles, cloth or disposable, organic or plain, every single choice a woman makes is scrutinized to the nth degree. I am interested in the connection to the current topic though.

I’d definitely take my chances with the bear. The bear might attack, but it would be fear based on its part and quick, not preplanned. A quick death is no guarantee with a strange man, there are plenty of worse things, especially alone in the woods. Now, might the man happen to be a perfectly nice guy? Sure. It’s really a crap shoot though, isn’t it.

Which contributes heavily to women being able to choose the singke life over being in a couple. Women have more economic opportunity. I’ve heard it phrased as that a men was necessary for survival in days past but now they actually have to be likable.

I do think this is hard when it’s the old men in charge of the system but the young men paying the price.

I agree. I’m also a feminist and have loved being home and homeschooling, even the cooking and the cleaning. Things look pretty 1950s at my house, except I expect my husband to be a full partner, involved father, and participate in the minimal amount of housework that I don’t do while he’s at work.

I think this actually going to contribute to radicalizing more men. As women’s standard have risen or changed and more women are ok with just being single, not enough men are changing with them. Those that don’t will find themselves involuntarily uncoupled and some of them will get really mad about it. Frustrated, lonely men cause a lot of problems for society in general and for women in particular. It’s going to become an issue. Im not saying women shouldn’t have high standards, because of course they should! I’m just seeing the potential unintended consequences of that. Not all men are going to rise to the challenge and the ones that don’t are likely to be a problem for all of us.

The “new” Andrew Tate is a guy called Alpha Dom. He’s part pick up artist, part manosphere type. He made the rounds on TikTok recently for his take that “you don’t have to accept a woman’s rejection”. In that video he was trying to convince young guys that pushing back and arguing with a woman who rejects you will lead to her running to your bed, and that he has gotten “many threesomes” that way. 🙄. It’s ridiculous until you realize that young guys are actually listening to him. The scariest thing about the incels is the belief many of them hold that women should just be assigned to a man, just given to them as property. They don’t just hate women, they actively believe we should be enslaved for their enjoyment. It goes a lot further than just thinking it’s not fair that no one wants to date them, their solution is enslavement. its Especially concerning when this is all tied into the “quiet part outloud” types who are feeling empowered recently to talk about taking away a woman’s right to vote and trying to end no fault divorce.

Small glass mason jars with the plastic lids.

I honestly have no idea. I can only trace back to great great grandparents that were just poor farmers around 1900. I have 0 idea about family past that.

Having to watch adults make terrible decisions, over and over, is so hard, You can offer to make budgets, to teach low cost recipes, to physically hold the money for them each week so they don’t spend it, but you can’t make them do it. It’s a struggle and just the true definition of frustration.

I agree. Kids don’t understand things like different wages, job promotions or any of that. My kiddo keeps asking whyDad doesn’t get job where we are (we tried, there is nothing), why Daddy doesn’t just keep not working (because to her mind that’s been just fine for several months so why not forever), and why I don’t just work instead, (I wouldn’t make nearly as much as Daddy and wouldn’t be able to pay the bills).

My oldest and youngest are close. My older and middle were close when they were both younger but have grown apart recently. I’m guessing they’ll be close again once the oldest moves out and matures a bit.

My kids are each 6 years apart from one another. Not even once did I consider having another one quickly so they could have a close in age sibling. I just go out of my way to ensure time with similar age friends. A close in age sibling is no guarantee of friendship or a playmate or that they’ll even like each other.

100% this.