I don’t think people realize until it’s too late. Once your enrolled it’s too late really. And the schools that have live teachers actually teaching math aren’t the (relatively) inexpensive colleges a lot of people attend.

I’m getting plenty of those too. Who knew acknowledging that most violent behavior comes from men would be so triggering for so many? 🤷‍♀️

I don’t see how it’s more idiotic that bear in the woods that we’ve been talking about for 3 pages.

A man on Tik Tok has started a new one, geared at at men… Men, you are at work, on night shift and your wife calls at 3 am because she heard a noise outside. When she peaks around the curtain would you rather her see a bear on the back porch or a man?

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLu1vkxc/ This bear is just a good boy. Just an oversized puppy really.

Exactly. In my mind the question is just supposed to be a gut reaction, quick-man or bear. So a random man out of nowhere or a bear. This isn’t a man I know, or know of, I’m not meeting him in a safe context, I’m not seeing other people react to him or being introduced by people I know. I’m alone, I’m the woods, with no one around and boom-a man. You have to be wary. Of course I’d feel different running into Bob, Susan’s husband at the Costco, or Tommy I know a bit from story time at the library. If I’m in a vulnerable position, alone in the woods, I’d have to be more cautious. And yes, if you just say “picture a bear” I see a black bear. My archetypal bear is the black bears that I’m most likely to encounter. Honestly if you say “picture running into a man in the woods” I’m picturing serial killers from Criminal Minds or a hunter of some sort, not Chad the avid hiker with vegan snacks. I don’t live in fear of men. I frequently go to parks or stores in areas other people consider bad areas and won’t go with me, including our favorite one where I can see the homeless shelter and soup kitchen from the park. I take a short cut through the ghetto once a week because it cuts 5 minutes off of my drive. I drive across the country and use rest areas and gas stations late at night. There’s just a difference between “in town” levels of risk and “isolated in the woods”.

The *best* history podcast is Hardcore History. Each episode is more like an audiobook, around 4 hours but I listen to them over and over. The way he goes through everything is just so dramatic and riveting. He reads frequently from primary sources and just put it all together so well.

I agree. I can’t put my finger on it but all of this “poor men” on this thread about how some women feel feels a little like victim blaming or victim shaming. If men can’t be bad because my husband, father, brother, are great upstanding men, then what about all these women who have victimized? Their attacks happened, by something. If we can’t call it out as having been done by a man, because it hurts the feelings of the “good” men, then what does that say? It feels odd.

I guess I wasn’t as clear as I meant to be. I was talking about leaving your child with another adult, generally the other parent or a family member, for the long term, like years. Yes, the child is safe but not through any action of the absent parent. I have an inkling that more men abandon their children or family than woman. I know that it happens with mothers, not just fathers, But I think it’s more often fathers. I’m not sure though. I was just wondering how the “abuse and neglect statistic” would change if we included that sort of abandonment in the definition of neglect.

I don’t think it is though? 🤔. Maybe I’m wrong, but a person who just disappears from a child life isn’t committing a crime. The courts might be willing to remove parental rights after a certain time, or allow a step parent to adopt the child, but is the absent parent ever charged with a crime? We might be talking about different things. I’m talking about non custodial parents who just goes no contact with their children for years at a time. The kind who “go out for milk” and never come back. Absent fathers, though mothers can do it too. Am I just unaware of a criminal charge for being an absent parent?

I did not say “primarily live with the other parent”. I said Getting out of dodge, as in not seeing the child for years. Not calling, not checking in, not being aware of the child. Just noping out of the child’s life entirely. The kind of abandonment where the courts could remove parental rights. ETA: I’ve been a single parent too. I’ve seen the difference between a non custodial parent who is involved, even minimally and one who is just gone and never heard from again.

Young family members who have had them removed recently have all had them removed after a sleep study showed that enlarged tonsils were causing sleep apnea. A friend's child had theirs removed because of repeated bouts of sickness, and I do mean repeated. That poor child was never well but is now only a little sicklier than average with much more time spent being healthy. I'm going to look into it next time I go to the doctor, the past few years my tonsils have been becoming so swollen during allergy season that I have a difficult time swallowing for weeks each spring and fall. I don't want surgery, but I know sleep apnea is connected to dementia and I want that even less. If I had to guess, I'd say that removing them is probably more common in places where allergy season is more severe. For me, what starts as allergies ends up as bronchitis and sinus infections from all the drainage. If allergies can make tonsils swell, and if swollen tonsils make you more likely to get more severe infections, it makes sense that places with bad allergies would remove more tonsils.

I wonder what those numbers would look like if abandonment was considered neglect? Like, if abandoning your children with their other parent and just getting out of dodge was considered the same as criminal neglect. 🤔🤔. ETA: I’m being genuine, I’m aware that mothers abandon children too, usually with grandparents. It’s just an interesting question to me.

Of course.

Your own experience might be coloring your view a bit here. You are assuming that everyone has had similar experiences. I’ve had many inappropriate experiences with men, from childhood on up but can honestly say I’ve never had unwanted sexual attention from a female. I’ve never experienced physical violence from a woman, honestly not even in school, although I do know girls can fight as well as boys. My experience is that girls can fight, but that fewer of them do compared to the boys. It’s not that I’m forgetting, it’s that they didn’t happen. My parents equally spanked as “discipline”, but my mother never hit us outside of that, while my father did, for example.

This exactly. Men are women's #1 predator. They are also the #1 predator of other men.

Because men were the topic at hand.

Physically hide their bodies, yes. Hide their nature, no. Pumas don’t pretend to be cuddly house cats then eat your face. Wolves don’t pretend to be puppies. Animals don’t pretend not to be predators, then surprise you with being a predator. They don’t offer to walk you home then push you into your house and attack you on the couch.

Because the topic at hand was man vs. bear and womens feelings on that. If the topic had been “how adults hurt children” it would have gone differently. You can also clearly see that twice I’ve used “human” not just man.

That’s the rub though isn’t it? How many mothers said that about their parish priest, until the Catholic Sex Abuse Scandal broke? Or the SBC scandal? How many mothers said that about Boy Scout troop leaders, until that broke? How many mothers have said that about soccer coaches, neighbors, teachers, church people, even family members and husbands, only to be proven so wrong. Some are so sure of their initial impression of that man being “good” that they never even believe their own children. Only humans are able to lie and deceive in that way. Other predators don’t disguise themselves, the bear isn’t dressed up as a golden retriever so we’ll come close enough.

My personal mom opinion is that doing both at once makes the most sense because it saves the kiddo from needing anesthesia twice. I know kids who have had them removed in separate surgeries and it just seems silly. Not to mention the cost of two separate surgeries.

I think this is furthering my feeling that I’d rather see a bear in the woods than a man, or really a human in general. Humans are the only creature capable of this level of ignorant dumba$$ery. The bear might attack me, but what it won’t do is do something so ridiculously stupid that it gets me killed on accident.

I think Gen Z just happens to be the young adults of serious dating age. I don’t know that the trends are specific to them necessarily. I honestly think I see more of this in millenial and Gen X age cohorts,the ones who have been married, divorced and had various children or the ones who have reached an age where they are realizing the time for marriage and family has come and gone.

Yes. This exactly articulates it.

You’ve clearly not seen the first Saw movie. I’ll never recover. I don’t even like horror movies, I have no idea why I even saw that movie. Although the advice predates that movie, probably from Oprah or similar. You’re suppose to look under the car too but I’m not doing that. I honestly don’t usually check mine but I do sometimes creep myself out in my minivan where I can’t see the very back. Checking the backseat is one of those advised sensible precautions we’re supposed to take. Goodness knows if a woman is attacked in her car from the backseat every Karen and Becki across the country will be tsk tsking about how it’s really the victims fault for not checking like you’re supposed to and it would never happen to them because they religiously check.