The problem is that everything does.

I'm not a fan of Netanyahu AT ALL and I'm not trying to catch anyone out. But I think my questions are pertinent and I haven't seen them answered in a satisfactory way anywhere. An article I read today is talking about the same thing: https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/10/hamas-obstacle-peace-gaza-ground-offensive/675743/

I have to say, this makes me feel kind of queasy. Are Jewish people who are NOT pleading for a ceasefire complicit? What if, given the fact that the Hamas attack took place during a supposed ceasefire, the idea of a ceasefire scares some of us? Who ceases fire, exactly? Is it really a ceasefire or just a chance for Hamas to regroup and do this again?

Honestly, I personally don't find it any more upsetting than the rest of it. Is this supposed to be more or less upsetting than the fact than totally random people living near Gaza got killed or kidnapped? (Apparently, an old physics teacher of my dad's was living right near Gaza, and his family got murdered. He was in his 80s.) I mean, I don't know if it's worse or better, it all seems completely equivalently awful to me. Because it's not sparing anyone at all. (This is unrelated to what's supposed to happen in response, which is a whole other topic. I just mean that I don't understand the focus on the truth or falsity of the "beheaded babies" statement.)

I also don't understand all the quibbling. It was obviously a brutal attack that didn't spare children or other vulnerable people. Does it matter exactly how many babies were beheaded?

That’s a bit strange, yeah. I mean, I can see why they might need them, but I can’t imagine the quantity provided will make a difference anyway… whereas that amount of medicine would.

I really like his songs.

I think some of us are persnickety about people believing things we think are false 😂. I know I am. But yeah, I probably don't have much to contribute besides skepticism. Well, and the fact that I'm fascinated by studies into animals that really ARE known to be communicating. Those tend to be animals that already have complicated social behavior in the wild, though. Try reading about gray parrots . . . they're AMAZING.

Of course it’s an awful, untenable, traumatic situation. But until the violence is actually renounced — and I see NO SIGN of anything of the sort — it’s not solvable.

I tend to agree with you on that.

No. But if they were in the military, they'd have to fight. And if the country was invaded, they'd suffer. They wouldn't get a vote. And in Ukraine, which is a war a lot of us support, I think, men were barred from leaving the country so they could defend it. They didn't get a vote, either. People don't get a CHOICE about these things. You could argue that there shouldn't be nations and governments (although I don't think I would), but there are. It's how the world is organized. ETA: Anyway, I'm in a bad mood and beating a dead horse as a result. I'll be back tomorrow. The world is such a rotten place sometimes, goodness 😕 .

But they would be. That's not how government works, for better and worse. If a president starts a war, the country is at war, no matter whether you voted for them or not.

There are many functions of government other than building permits and electricity and water. In fact, I believe utility companies aren't even all government-owned in the US . . .

Yeah. Of course, same goes for lots of places. Nor is Putin.

Hamas is the government of Gaza. They’re in charge. I may have all sorts of issues with how the world is organized, but while governments exist, there are consequences for the many for the actions of the few. And what Hamas did was blatantly an act of war.

The issue of who might let in refugees and why some countries may not wish to do so is also inherently political, I think. As for returning to one’s home… I dunno. The world is a hard place. I have no idea if I’ll ever see the city I was born in again. And if I do, whether it’ll feel anything like home…

Yeah, let’s wind this up.

I was about to type up a response, but it's too political. I think that might also make your comment too political . . .

I don't think there's much of a prospect of a resolution to begin with. As I said, I hope Egypt lets in refugees, because I don't see anything else good happening. (And arguably that would be bad for Egypt. But in terms of short term issues for the Palestinian civilians . . . )

That's right. It has advantages and disadvantages. The kids get to participate a lot more than they would in a live class.

At this point, what I hope is that Egypt lets in refugees.

I hope this isn't too off-topic, but how do you know? I'm not surprised, although it's sad . . .

Oooof. What a hard situation. You're not AT ALL a jerk. On the other hand, I can see that this is tricky, because your SIL was there for you. I think this is a situation which needs to be handled slowly and gingerly. I really would make some time to spend some time with your foster niece one-on-one a few times, just to make it clear to your SIL that you're not rejecting her. And then I'd have a very frank conversation with your SIL. Find some time when you're one-on-one and you aren't harried. Tell her how you're feeling and how your kids are feeling. Let her be defensive about it (she will be!) but don't back down. And see if you can come at this from a place of empathy: if you say things like "My kids are having a hard time with this, BUT here's how we can help . . . ," you'll get more understanding. Don't talk about your foster niece's behavior except in purely descriptive terms, when explaining how they're affecting your kids. Don't explain what's going on in your foster niece's head to your SIL -- she doesn't sound ready to deal with that. Just be matter-of-fact and stick purely to the perspective "Here's what happening in my family."

Another vote for DBT as a coping strategy. But you need to get her to somehow take ownership of this, or nothing is going to work.

If I remember correctly, this isn’t the first time the Palestinians are being used as pawns by people supposedly supporting them.