(Please don't quote for my son's privacy.) My son's anxiety is pulling our whole family down. He's so anxious and angry, and his verbal attacks on me make me want to cry every day. We know that he is self-medicating with computer time (and hogging the computer from all of us!). But he reads about all the potential side effects and is sure that every side effect will happen to him, so he's too scared to start his meds. We have tried every non-pharmaceutical intervention we can think of. We desperately need him to give meds a chance. The psychiatrist recommended that we don't tie computer time with taking meds, but honestly, I can't think of anything else that would be high-incentive enough. Somehow, we need to break his screen addiction, too. Any thoughts? And please don't worry if I don't reply quickly, but I'll sneak in some time to read the thread - I don't get much computer time with my kids on the computer so much! (The medication in question is Lexapro, by the way, if anyone has any encouragement about that one.)

This is the best news, knitgrl! So glad your being well taken care of. I hope that every day you're feeling a little better.

Arcadia, thank you for this! This is really helpful!

@knitgrl, just a very quick note to say that I've been thinking about you all day. When you are ready, please let us know how you are doing. However your surgery went, we care and want to support you!

Love it!

I've been using arnica gel, and I do have some Mederma I might start later when I've run out of the arnica. I'll also look into using Vit. E serum. What a great idea - thank you! But really, I just have to have some time to get used to the scar just being part of me now.

Jenny, I think this is a wonderful idea. I'm not a tattoo person, but I love that you changed your scar into something sweet.

@knitgrl, I'll be praying for your surgery, and especially that your pathology report comes back clean. I hope that you go into surgery knowing that all your forum friends will be wishing the best for you! Take care for the next several days!

While it works for some families, SFL was what drove us to CLRC, and we've never looked back. Emily Wells, who teaches CLRC's Middle School Latin 1, was wonderful for us! Even though my kid had had several years of MP Latin, we signed her up for CLRC's Middle School Latin 1, just to make the academics easier while she got used to having Not-Mom as a teacher. Mrs. Wells was very nice and very encouraging, and the class was lots of fun. Don't worry about the difference in ecclesiastical vs. classical pronunciation. I've heard it explained as the difference between an American accent and a British accent. It's not hard to make that transition. I believe the only place where it would really make a difference is in vocal performance.

@knitgrl, just wanted to let you know that I'm hoping you're doing well. Please update us if you'd like to talk. We're rooting for you!

@MercyA, I feel for your loved one! I have one who does the same thing. O'Keefe's Working Hands Lotion has been wonderful for us! I'll also second the recommendation to try out whatever local artisanal soap is available where you are. If you'd like a non-local recommendation, we love the bar soap made by By Robin Creations. Best wishes to your loved one! Over hand washing is a really hard problem. Your loved one is not alone!

Oh, please put Singin' in the Rain on your list, if only for Gene Kelly's iconic dance, because yes, this dance is a culture reference:

Thank you, ScoutTN and Kassia! Sorry I haven't replied earlier. Treatment is at a standstill for now - the facility in my little town where I get my mammograms done and the cancer center in Big City Far Away can't seem to talk to each other. It's hard being a non-medical-person trying to figure out what each of them needs and being the intermediary between them. I thought that I'd be done with radiation therapy by now and it hasn't even started! Emotionally, I'm hanging in there. Every time that I look at the scar, I deliberately tell myself, "This scar is the result of a skilled surgeon's work to save my life." But, my feelings still say, "Scars mean accidents or injury. I shouldn't have a scar right there!" It's one of those emotional things that you can't really prepare yourself for. I'll update again when treatment is started again!

Oh, of course. I'm past fifty and am still changing my mind what I want to do when I grow up. 😉 But I've still got a kid who won't work with me any more, and... Edited: @PeterPan, I agree with you about this. Sorry my words came out wrong. ...this is exactly what I'm trying to avoid.

Big hugs to you, @knitgrl! I am only a little farther along than you are (I was diagnosed with DCIS in February), and am waiting to start radiation. You may want to take a quick glance at a thread I started on the General Ed board about this topic: "Homeschooling through medical interruptions". Many of the ladies gave some wonderful advice. My personal advice to you right now is to hold all your plans loosely. Your kids may work through their own emotions about your cancer by being extra cooperative and give you energy, or by being extra combative and drain you of energy. (I certainly hope it's the former for you!) There may be a lot of "hurry up and wait" when it comes to scheduling appointments with doctor's offices. Just don't schedule academic things that you can't flex with later. Whatever is the most "work" for you (cooking, refereeing kids' fights, etc.), try to get that off your plate for at least a week or two after your surgery. I know that's easier said than done! But hopefully you have a wonderful support system that can help out.

Jean, I'm sorry I'm giving the wrong impression. I've messed this up. Of course I do not mean that I would not school my kid. I'm pretty serious about this whole Classical education thing! What I'm really trying to do is to widen what "homeschooling" means for our family. We already have her signed up for three online classes. It seems that the public school system refuses to flex with homeschoolers, so that rules out any extra-curriculars she could take or even doing part-time public school. But I want her to start being accountable to others. I'm happy with the academics that we've done and that we will continue to do, but for the sake of our relationship, I don't want to be the primary teacher anymore. If I suggest a field trip or camp or project, she will reject it out of hand. But I hope that I did not give the impression that I was just sending her out to work. I've read too much Dickens to do that! 🙂 Everyone, please know that I love this girl very much. I'm not just trying to get rid of her. But because she is stretching her wings so much, I'm trying to find more ways for her to do that while still giving her a carefully crafted alternative education that will be just right for her. I just started this thread to think about more options.

Quoting myself because I found the quote in Chp 16 of Rethinking School: "'You know what I should have done?' a friend of mine (a qualified RN, mother of three boys, stepmother of two more) confided in me. 'Just let them work and earn money in sixth and seventh grade, and then go back. I don't think any learning happened those two years. Their brains were in the wrong place.' In your thought experiment, no schooling has to happen when adolescent hormones are at their height. Those boys could pick fruit, or practice programming, or work on a ranch, or learn how to cook." I guess what I'm most interested in is getting my kid out.

Seconding @Clarita's suggestion to read Rethinking School. It really should be read right along with TWTM. @Ting Tang, here is a specific section of what SWB wrote to give you some encouragement (this from Chapter 20): ----------- “We want our children to leap into their assignments with evergy and complete them without nagging. We want them to have a thirst for knowledge. We want them to love learning. “If only that were reality…. “True appreciation of the value of education only comes with maturity. And often, when we're dealing with children, we're waiting for the maturity to happen. For many children, something has to click in the brain before they become self-motivated, engaged learners...” ----------- I'm right with you, TingTang. My husband and I were ultra-motivated overachievers, and though our kids are really doing fine academically, their attitudes are driving us crazy. Something that is important to remember is that it is simply not in the nature of every child to be educated by Mom, especially starting in adolescence. This is something I wish would be talked about more openly and without condemnation. Mom may be doing all the homeschooling right – but the kid just needs another teacher. Good luck to you, TingTang. Being a homeschool mom is hard, and I'm sure that you are giving it your all.

Quoting myself just for reference… @Teaching3bears, I'm coming back to clarify my post since it may have given exactly the opposite impression than I meant it to, and it's bothered me ever since. I wanted your son to feel encouraged that picking a major in college doesn't mean that he would be pigeon-holed for life. College is a time of growing in self-awareness. The major that one chooses as a freshman may not fit the student as a senior. But I certainly didn't mean to give the impression that a degree is useless. In my case, I lovedlovedLOVED my college engineering major. I also lovedlovedLOVED my engineering career in a different specialty. They both scratched different itches, and that's okay. If I could do college all over again, knowing the career I would end up with… I would still do exactly the same thing, because my major was so interesting! It does help to have a certain mentality to study engineering, the mentality that says, “Statics is fun! Vector calculus is fun! Heat transfer is fun!” (All of which are true, by the way. 🙂 ) But it sounds like your son is just not in that place, or at least not right now. He will eventually find out what the spark is that will inspire him. My best wishes to him! Having to figure out what to do when you grow up is hard, especially when you have the pressure of being a pre-college teenager. He sounds like a really good kid. I'm sure that he will do well when he gets to college.

I got my degree in Engineering Field A, but made every penny of my engineering money in Engineering Field B. My employer didn't care that my degree was in a different field. Probably (it may depend on the school), new engineering freshman will first apply to the engineering school without having to declare a major, and then take a whole bunch of prerequisites in various disciplines (basic mechanical engineering, basic electrical engineering, etc.) He will have at least a year to try out a few basics before specializing with a major.

Ah. I'd still never go without my husband, though. I couldn't imagine wandering through a Gothic cathedral or the Mendelssohn Haus without my best friend to share it with. We'll find something else! But I'm definitely envious of your trip. What wonderful memories you and your must have!

I've never heard of this either, but it sounds like a lot of fun! We are huge fans of the film scores of John Williams, and the Star Wars scores in particular. Every time I hear either the main theme or the Imperial March, I think, "Oh, to be a trombonist when John Williams is being played..." I also usually think something along the lines of, "I bet he wanted to dare the percussion section to earn their paycheck." I understand! In "Luke and Leia", John Williams out-Wagnered Wagner. That melody is begging for lyrics! (We spend a lot of time listening to Star Wars soundtracks. I spend way too much time thinking about these things.)

@Brittany1116, here is one that we're just starting: Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life...And Maybe the World, by retired U.S. Navy Admiral William H. McRaven

Welcome! It's an adventure! If you are considering teaching the Classical languages and would like inspiration, I strongly suggest reading Thoreau's essay "Reading" from Walden. (It's my favorite of the Walden essays!) Who would have thought that the guy who went to the woods to live deliberately and to suck the marrow out of life would have brought his Homer along with him, and could write so eloquently about reading the epics in their original languages? Beyond that, make sure that you are reading the kind of books that you would assign to your kids. Nothing frustrates me more than meeting a local homeschool mom who says, "Classical education is what I've chosen for my child!" but she would never, ever, pick up a nineteenth century book herself. Read Shakespeare until you recite lines just for the pure enjoyment of the musicality of the language. Read Dickens and laugh. Read the rest of Walden, looking for his pithy gems. Fall in love yourself with what you want to teach your children! Good luck!

Around the World in Eighty Days. I love the book for the adventure story aspect of it, but there were definitely some 21st century cringe moments when I last read it earlier this year.