This stupid virus had mutated into quite the ev monster. Ugh. I was invited to QuiltCon. I decided to go along with an N95 and boosted last month. But, I am worried. However, we have spent nearly 4 years hunkered down and bizarrely careful due to our mothers. It is negatively affecting my mental health. So now it is a balancing act of having any joy in life, not being constantly worrying vs. not getting sick and getting long covid, or killing the grandmas. I can't figure out where the balance is. My mother could live another 10 years. My oldest grandson will be 18. Do I just throw in the towel and stop living in order to keep her alive? I feel selfish. But. I am going to QuiltaCon. We are boosted, we are masking, we are eating outdoors, only going to the vendor hall and quilt displays - no special speakers or classes - and I am even taking picnic food to and from all along my route from here to NC, mask in rest areas. Hope for the damn best because I just desperately need a break from their overwhelming medical needs, grocery shopping, and staying home except when I make the run to Alabama to see the grands, a place where I then am overrun with responsibilities, and end up cooking, cleaning, and caring for littles in order to give dd a break. My mental and physical needs this. Yet, I am having a hard time letting go of the anxiety.

My mother gets that at her church all the time. She goes to France every year to spend 3 months with my sister and brother in law. They pay all her expenses when she arrives, so a plane ticket is all she needs. It isn't that expensive if she does not fly on holidays. She also has her dental work done there because it is 1/4th the cost of having it done locally. The rude comments always start coming for two weeks prior to her departure, and then they are extra snide (not just one or two people, but about 10 people actually) for 2 weeks when she gets back. Ugh. Why can't they mind their own business. Usually there are several "if you didn't travel like a rich person, you would have more money to give the church" comments. Thankfully, not the pastor. He is non confrontational and refuses to go tell people to shut up, but he does support her and reminds her that time is short (she is 80 now), and her first responsibility for maintaining a relationship is her family not the church so go have a wonderful time. We have so few people now within our inner circle, that we no longer deal with it. My tiny circle are all people who live modestly in order to prioritize travel. Sometimes we take vacations together. Mark's work colleagues are all frequent travellers. So now we don't have anyone except my ever-jealous-of-every single-thing-we-do brother who makes inappropriate comments. However, we are down to a text once a month, see each other once or twice a year for 10 minutes tops kind of relationship despite him living 1 block away. Such a relief. I don't know why people comment on what others are doing or spending nor why they care. I do know that our society seems to be increasingly less polite, and more sparky, so I am learning to not share personal information with anyone but that inner circle. "What are you doing next week?" Me: "Same old, same old". But what I am actually doing is going to Quilt Con with my niece in law. The subject of the eclipse came up last week with my brother during our February text. I said, "Yes. It is sad that this area is not remotely close to the path of totality. Sad to miss it." Meanwhile, we have a rental in the boondocks in NW Arkansas, in the path of totality and will be hosting grandma and grandpa astronomy camp for our 4 and 8 year old grandsons. My brother has no idea. It is sad that we can't just chit chat without being so guarded. But, I find the only way to avoid his snarkiness is to be extreme guarded.

I did. I had HG with my first but then my 2nd was fine. At the time there was no advice on prevention. My last pregnancy was 2000. But, I was very careful, worried about it. So I drank room temperature ginger tea as soon as I woke up and before getting out of bed. Mark made it for me, and then also ate a few saltines. I had chewable vitamins because the CNM didn't think I would keep the big prenatal vitamins down, and frankly, I am sure she was right about that. I ate bland foods for five months. That was only because my HG had lasted nearly 20 weeks the first time around, so I was afraid to do anything that might convert me from regular pregnancy nausea to HG again.

Technically schools here are supposed to allow participate in non-core subjects like art and music, and only for a limited amount of credits at the high school level. So APs are off limits anyway. Most schools refuse to allow any participation at all, and nothing is ever done about that despite state policy. All of my kids had 1 or 2 APs, but I taught them going through all of the hoop jumping with the College Board for syllabus approval, and then I searched high and low all over the state for a school that had a seat open for the test. It was a real chore. So I eventually moved to DE's because the university would let us have DE for $50 a credit hour. This was a four year university with a decent reputation, so in actuality, that looked better on college applications than the APs. Funding is per head based on head count day but through property taxes which means the district does lose money because the state is allowed to funnel that tax somewhere else apparently. $8549 pet student lost. So ya. The local superintendent and faculty very much resent home schooled and privately schooled kids. Several private schools have closed in the county due to wage stagnation making it impossible for families to afford tuition. There were 8 Lutheran schools, 2 Catholic, 1 Baptist Abeka based school, and 1 A.C.E. The A.C.E. is closing at the end of this semester, 1 Catholic school closed several years ago, and 2 Lutheran schools combined into one while another closed reducing the number down to 5 though 2 of those have opted to be only pre-K, K-1, and not have the older grades leaving just 3 that are still K-8. So the number of students attending private schools has dropped a lot. No money from the state is directly funneled to homeschool or private school students except through what is known as 'Homeschool Partnership ". The partnerships can be started by the school as out reach in non-core subjects supervised by an online public school teacher - students have to check in weekly with this teacher and answer questions about what they are learning - but non ps teachers teach the material. So for instance, through the Niles homeschool partnership, parents can get up to $350 per semester reimbursement for lessons on an instrument, community art lessons, etc. At one point, we had a rocketry and aerospace class funded through a partnetship. The school gets $350 per student for administrating the program per class, per semester, and then the instructor is paid $350 per student or the parent submits an invoice for the class and then gets the money and has to pay the teacher. These partnerships are very complicated, pain the rears to administrate and very few schools have them. Very few. They are only popular with school superintendents in a few areas with very high concentrations of home schoolers because these superintendents are trying to make relationships, positive relationships with homeschooling/private school parents in the hopes they will re-enroll their kids in the district. Due to the cost of operation, in general, schools barely break even and some go in the hole. Other than the above, there isn't any property tax money for homeschool and private school students. I have never been quizzed about my qualifications. However, I was also well known in the area as a licensed K-12 music teacher, and my husband as an IT professional with multiple degrees. So it didn't occur to others that we couldn't handle the academics. But we often got the "socialization" question. I usually met that with a litany of bad socialization examples from bullying to cliques and student popularity issues to known very bad behavior issues in the school, and that kind of shut them up. A type of "public school at home" type thing was very popular after the shut down in 2020. Virtual, as it was set up by local districts, was a disaster. Staff who could retire, did so. Teachers quit, especially those with qualifications that would allow them to do other things in the private sector for more money which meant math and science teachers left in droves. It was really bad here. Parents pulled their kids and enrolled them in online programs that required very little supervision on their part, not really any parent teaching. These tended to be not all that successful. But in the short term, the schools lost a lot of money. However, by 2023 most of those students were back in ps. The estimate has been roughly 5.3% of students were home schooled in 2020/21 school year as a response to the pandemic. But that number only applies to students who had been in PS and then were removed. These are the only children "tracked" because Michigan does not require homeschool registration or reporting. Kids who have never been in ps (my kids for instance) were never counted. Kids who have never attended ps and have always been in private school are also often not counted since religious schools are exempt from certain kinds of reporting, so the state only had an estimate. So when the state says, "We think there are 50,000 or 100,000 none public school students in the state", they are likely greatly underestimating. My guess is that between these two groups there are likely a quarter million, but it is hard to know. If there are, that is 1.3 billion in per head funding lost from a 20+billion dollar education budget. I have no idea where that money goes. I would imagine it could be funneled back to districts in special funding. I also know my state legislature well enough they have probably found work arounds that allow them to spend on their favorite friends' projects unrelated to education.

Hey Pinball, way to put words in other people's mouths! I never, not once EVER on this thread said that the mother who took her child to a mass murder bears no responsibility! My freaking, gosh. It just simply goes without saying. BUT you made it known you do not think that those who returned fire have any responsibility for where those bullets go, for pulling the trigger. That is NOT the case. Not legally, not morally. Not ever. They have responsibility too. And you know I never said that the mother has no culpability here. Go ask military personnel about using guns. They have EXTREME burden of responsibility for where their bullets land. Talk to some JAG lawyers about that. Own the gun, own the ammo? You also own the liability. What's that saying? "With great power, comes great responsibility."

Would polenta be familiar to him?

I agree. Human kind is going to allow this to continue until the herd is thinned out, and hosts are not readily available for future mutations. I think within the next ten years, the death rate will outpace the birth rate on the planet. Covid isn't the only way we are killing ourselves. Climate Change is going to take out a billion or two as well.

On a moving targets the FBI - far more weapons training than State Police and Sheriff and have higher standards for weapons certification - average hitting the peep 38% of the time. In an active shooter situation, the 2022 statistics for police was 20% of fired rounds hit their intended target. God only knows where the other 80% went.

This. If the "good guys with guns" buy the guns, carry the guns, and shoot the guns, then it sucks to be them when they eff up. This was a major eff up.

Thanks. I will look at those. I don't mind the investment. He and his brother backwoods camp all the time, so something like this can just become a part of their camp equipment. Plus, they may send him to Vietnam in the fall, and I suspect it would be helpful there as well.

He is new. His former company, the job straight out of college, ended up in financial trouble when the sales team made some really BAD deals, promising the sun moon and stars for not enough dollars and in time frames there was no hope of meeting. He knew they would make cut backs, and being with the company only a year, he knew he and any of the new engineering hires would be first on the chopping block. So he put his resume' out there, and this job popped up. He really likes it. They really like him, and his boss is great! But, the other four electrical engineers on the team (not the mechanical engineers - those gals are super, duper nice and inclusive) are all a lot older, dads with kids, and as it turns out they all go to the same church. They talk about a lot of stuff that is personal because they are all best buddies who play on tjr same church softball team. So they naturally exclude him from the social element. I suspect that over time they will warm up. He had only been with this company for 4 months. And again, they are not unprofessional or even snarky or anything like that. I suspect they will all come around in time. Ds, always the even keel one, doesn't take it personally at all. He is convinced though that he will not be included socially on the trip. I hope he will be pleasantly surprised.

😂😂😂

From what we understand, there will be no sight seeing. It is a three week work trip, and they are expected to be working long days. There might be some down time on weekends IF everything goes smoothly. But, the employer is not providing transportation or any funds for anything beyond hotel and three meals a day plus transport to and from the manufacturing plant. He doesn't have much money for paying for a bunch of seeing anything. He is the junior member of the team, and if the other choose to do something, he may or may not (may not being the most likely) be invited. If invited, he would need to pay his share. He is thinking that he will not be invited. The other team members are nice, very professional, but they are a clique, very exclusive. Since we advised him not to go out on his own, he figures there is very little chance he is doing anything but work, and hanging out inside the hotel. I feel bad about that. However, it is a work trip paid for by his company. There is no obligation on their part to give him a nice experience.

Thanked for reminding me!

Sick. This is the problem. Treating guns like fun toys, celebrating owning them, giving them as gifts same as legos, bikes, and cameras. Sick. We have a gun addiction problem in this country that is every bit as serious as drug addiction and a greater threat to public health and safety than drugs. These photos are about the same thing as grown adults giving kids alcohol or drugs for Christmas. No different. Don't even try to defend it.

When he gets back, recovers from jet lag, and fills us in, I will post an update.

I am so glad to hear this. I really hope his company is on top of things. We never considered the possibility of having a few small gifts just in case. We will think about that, and do a little research to see what might be nice. I wonder if some Made in Michigan, non food items might work. There are some unique items that aren't expensive like polished petoskey stones that are readily available.

Thank you. I will get the info to you as soon as he knows. It is a work trip, and the office manager books everything. He does not have a choice of where to stay. He is getting typhoid pills this weekend, plus covid booster, and Hep A/B next weekend. I am making a big kit of meds and first aid stuff, plus I will be sending him those little Kleenex packs. It isn't cost effective, but it is efficient because he can just grab a pack and keep it in his pocket. I will send a couple of rolls of t.p. in his checked bag in case they stay somewhere that does not provide it, and lots of hand sanitizer. We are working on getting an appointment at a CVS with a travel clinic so he can talk to someone about getting GI meds. Thank you!

This might be one of those rare times when his roughing it, primitive camping experiences come in handy.

😠😠😠 Someone could have been killed for the love of a nut from a tree. Too many Americans think being startled or frightened of something is an excuse to lose their brains and just start randomly shooting. I am pretty certain Life, Liberty, and General Welfare are just as important as 2E. The rights of the ammosexuals does not trump that of everyone else to be alive. My sister and brother in law are coming this summer for a month. They really want to take a sight seeing vacation, but bil is pretty scared. 49 mass shootings this year alone, and a cop that endangers people because he is too stupid to stop and ascertain some things before shooting like Elmer Fudd chasing Bugs Bunny is NOT helping. I told him there were all kinds of wild and beautiful places in Michigan, Wisconsin, and Minnesota that we could go and avoid crowds and places that are targets.We can picnic to avoid restaurants; pay at the pump for fuel. I am fairly certain the only thing the powers that be care about is money. Therefore, nothing will get done until everyone is afraid to go to theaters, concerts, school, sporting events, shopping of any kind, etc. When the economy tanks and the only thing the majority populace uses is grocery pick up and drive through pharmacy, that will get their attention. Certainly when the NFl and the NBA cannot fill stadiums, and all the theaters go bankrupt, retail establishments all go under and Jeff Besos can buy the United States for a song, then and only then will they pay attention.

I am so very sorry for your loss! Hugs

Thank you! I am copy and pasting your advice to a document for him. I really appreciate all the help here. The hive wins again.

Wow! This is is so foreign for us. Dh went to Egypt without me (his conscience 😁) in 2019, ate some street food, and was sick by the tike he got home. Sick for six months. Lost so much weight it was actually scary. Saw 1 NP, 2 physician's assistants, and 3 MD's all of whom claimed it could not be parasites even though every one of them had been told he had been to North Africa, and had eaten street vendor food. They decided he had cancer, and ordered a colonscopy which was of course clean, then if was "you need to see the GI doc, and the first appointment available is 3 months away or you can go to U of Mi, Ann Abor, walk into the ER, and get seen right away." I was so mad I just about swore a blue streak at the doc. We went home, and I did the thing so never do...call our dear friend in Doctors Without Borders for help. (not always an easy person to reach given some of the locations he serves). He swore. Called in a prescription to our pharmacy, and bam. Cured. This is the kind of thing that keeps me up. Ds is super smart with a lot of common sense, but he is not a self advocate. I normally do not worry about him at all, but something like this for sure. I hate feeling like a mother hen. He isn't like his next oldest brother who is more of the, "Get off your ass and help me now" kind of person in the face of being shrugged off.

US docs seem to be pretty under-informed on things like "diseases you get when not going to Canada or Western Europe".

Score! I found a pharmacy that has typhoid vaccine/pills that is a reasonable drive for him. It was a needle in a haystack kind of thing. I called many CVS and Walgreens in his city (and there are a LOT of them) plus Rite Aids, Meijer Pharmacy, and some independents, and found the one and only Walgreen that had them. Since his city does not have an international airport, and apparently doesn't get enough requests for it, most of them do not stock the med. But yeah, we have that option now. They can also do a Hep A/B as well as covid, but not the same day. That fine. He doesn't need a shot up arm on Monday at work. So two weekends in a row works. I also found out that CVS has a travelers medical clinic thing where he can meet with a physician's assistant or something, discuss travel, get recommendations, and even be prescribed GI meds to take with him. Since he doesn't have a primary care physician, I think this might be the way to do it. He is one of these uber healthy young adults who saw the doc on his college campus exactly once in four years, and since then, the annual physical with the hospital clinic that his employer uses. He doesn't have a doctor where he has a relationship. I had been thinking about trying out the Amazon clinic thing. Just so he could maybe get some metronidazole. But, this seems like a better idea.