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PrairieSong

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  1. PrairieSong
    I have known some toxic people in my life, but fortunately, have not been pursued by them. Others I know have. One friend was in a toxic marriage and, as described by a PP, was in a fog until she got out of the marriage and things gradually became clearer. Then she could not believe what she had put up with all those years. When you're inside a situation and so close to it, it does cloud your vision. The behaviors you describe are not healthy and I would not want any of that around myself or my family. It wouldn't matter to me that I had known the person a long time and was "almost like family". I would want to be very far away from all of it. I hope everything works out well for you. Friends have told me the Boundaries books are very good. You also might consider couseling, or just talking to a trusted friend who is very grounded, or perhaps your priest/pastor if you have one. It helps to get an outside view of the situation, someone who is more impartial. Isn't that why you came here? I wish you all the best.
  2. PrairieSong
    To the OP: I am very sorry that your family has this problem. It sounds awful. The thing is, the original post was worded in such a way that you were telling all of us to stop wearing perfume...and perhaps this was an exaggeration to make a point. But anyway, me not wearing perfume is not going to help you at all. I would definitely stop if our church made an announcement or had a sign, but they don't. I have never seen one of these anywhere, ever. And...the reason people thought you were being rude is because you yourself said that when you and your family moved you said the word "perfume" louder each time. Well, we weren't there. We can only imagine how it happened and go by what you said. I hope you can work things out with your church and get a scent-free zone where you can sit and be comfortable without having to worry about the perfume allergy. This will take some education, and not just a one-time announcement. You would have to post signs in obvious places. There still might be some who forget, or who are newcomers, or just visiting. I doubt that the vast majority of people are doing this on purpose. They just don't know. I certainly didn't. Good luck and God bless you.
  3. PrairieSong
    I was wondering the same thing.
  4. PrairieSong
    It probably won't be a long enough time for you to really see if it works...plus, as some others mentioned, summer is just different and your kids may feel the pull to be off doing summertime things. They may feel it's unfair to fill up their summer with "school stuff".
  5. PrairieSong
    We both have replacement rings as of 2009. I wear mine but not all the time. DH was wearing his but lost it a couple months ago. :-( He would wear it if he had it. Honestly, though, until we got our replacement rings we hadn't worn any for quite a few years. I think they are a nice symbol but not essential to having a good marriage.
  6. PrairieSong
    Count me as one who had no idea this could be such a serious health issue. I have NEVER seen a notice in any building or church bulletin asking others to be scent-free. What I wonder is, if it is not just perfume/cologne, but all the other things you mentioned, laundry products, shampoo, conditioner, etc., what are people expected to do? I don't think everyone is going to stop using all those products. Honestly, I will probably still occasionally wear my one spritz of citrus-scented body spray...unless I somehow am made aware that someone else at my church has a serious allergy. I am NOT trying to be insensitive at all, but I think it is the allergic person's responsibility to make this known to others. Isn't that reasonable?
  7. PrairieSong
    Mine never did put things up their noses, but a good friend has the craziest story about this. One of her friends noticed something peeking out of her toddler daughter's nose...something GREEN. Turns out the child had shoved a bean up her nose and it stayed there for a day or two and SPROUTED. The tiny leaf was protruding from her nostril.
  8. PrairieSong
    Yes, we now know you are allergic, but us not wearing it to our churches/other places won't help you at all. You should talk to your own pastor and others you know to raise awareness in your circles.
  9. PrairieSong
    ITA with this.
  10. PrairieSong
    I often wear one spritz of a citrus-scented body spray. It would never occur to me to not wear cologne because of someone else's allergies. Church wouldn't be the only place this might be an issue. Someone mentioned being bothered in a store and getting a headache. Are we expected to not wear cologne, scented deodorant, etc., whenever we go into a public place?
  11. PrairieSong
    That is a good idea! I don't want to do any more garage sales either. They aren't worth it IMO. We do have AmVets who pick up at the curb every few weeks. They mail out an envelope with the pickup date on it a couple weeks ahead, and inside is a pink plastic bag. You can also put other bags with the pink bag if you want. Easy peasy.
  12. PrairieSong
    Wow, I'm sorry. I have family drama too, except my brother is now estranged and living in another state so it's not too dramatic, just sad. Does you mom want to see your sister? If she does, I'd try to find a way to work that out without your sister coming to your house. If your mom doesn't want to see your sister, then I'd just say, "No." The only way there can be WWIII is if you push back. If you just step back and refuse to engage, then she can have her own drama but it won't involve you. You might want to email her and explain, but I'm guessing you've tried to talk to her many times before and she just doesn't get it.
  13. PrairieSong
    DH is a RE appraiser with his own business. We also own and manage a few rental properties. I show properties, take applications, paint, call repairmen, etc. It comes in bursts of activity and isn't bad since we now have good renters. We could live off DH's appraiser income but have the rental properties as an investment.
  14. PrairieSong
    Thanks for everyone's input! I really think we will need to replace the cabinets and flooring, OR be prepared to get much lower offers. One of you said after doing the work, you wanted to stay. I could see that happening to us, although we still want to live in the other town, have more room, and a bigger garage. Another thought...our house is paid for so at least we would not have two mortgages. We have older kids, two in college working part time and one working full time. Two are at the point of moving out. (We also have youngers not ready to move out.) It's possible that they could stay here for a while and we could move out with the younger kids. Then, eventually we could sell when they move on. Hmmmm...
  15. PrairieSong
    My parents thought that if someone had given it to you or you'd inherited it, you could NOT get rid of it...well maybe to another relative. My grandma moved in with us. Our house was full of our stuff, plus hers, plus things from a deceased aunt, and many, many gifts people had given them. I think my mother should have sold or given away most of it. Now she is gone and my dad is swimming in stuff so I'm the one to deal with it. It's just stuff. If you need the money, sell it. If you're not sure, put questionable items away in a box and after a certain time (a few weeks or months?) you can decide if you're okay parting with it. Take photos of anything you want to remember. Detachment...it's not a bad word.
  16. PrairieSong
    Funny you should ask that. DH is a RE appraiser who also has his RE license. He doesn't really sell, but has access to MLS which he uses for appraising. It's a buyer's market right now. On the MLS web site, most of the other kitchens in houses similar to ours look better than ours does, though you can't tell everything from a photo of course.
  17. PrairieSong
    We do have both of those. Lowe's is closer. We've looked at them, and even went to an informational class about their cabinets and countertops. One thing we didn't like was that the sides of the cabinets at Lowe's are fiberboard (don't know if that's the correct term) like ours are. Our cabinets started peeling after a few years. I guess if we're selling we wouldn't have to worry about everything being top of the line though.
  18. PrairieSong
    Painting or re-facing cabinets is not an option I'd consider, because the insides of the cabinets are falling apart, and there is major water damage under the sink cabinet. Sorry, I should have explained that in my first post. This stuff has needed to be done for a LONG time. I've talked to dh about it for years. He has been very reluctant to spend the $$$. I don't blame him in a way, but I feel like we haven't taken care of our investment in our home. Now I don't know what to do.
  19. PrairieSong
    Don't forget to wash all the soft stuff...curtains, tablecloths, throw rugs, etc.
  20. PrairieSong
    We're considering moving to a neighboring town where we do most of our shopping and where we'd be closer to DH's business. We'd also like more room and a bigger garage. Our current home is 25 years old and desperately needs new kitchen cabinets, counter tops, and flooring. The carpet in the living room, dining room, and hallway is old and ratty. (The basement carpet is only two years old so we're good there.) I had a contractor in (someone recommended to me) to give me a bid on a kitchen remodel, and replacing the flooring in the main living areas. Very pricey!!!!! :eek: A friend told me about a place that sells cabinets to builders and would be much more economical, even if we had to hire someone to install them. I haven't looked there yet. My question: if it were you, would you bother to do the remodel at all before you listed your house for sale, or would you sell "as is", knowing that you'll end up getting much less for your house?
  21. PrairieSong
    I can't manage the squat either, and if there aren't any paper seat covers, I use doubled toilet paper. If the seat is...sprinkeled...I choose another stall.
  22. PrairieSong
    A new questions occurred to me. OK, so I can't make aprons from an Adorable Aprons pattern and sell them as "Adorable Aprons". I got that part. What if I sell online and also have a sewing blog where I state that I used an Adorable Apron pattern? Could I get it trouble? Do I have to keep it completely hush hush about what pattern I used, if it is someone else's?
  23. PrairieSong
    Thanks, Jane in NC. I will check out Sew Liberated.
  24. PrairieSong
    OK, here's an example from Heather Bailey's web site. You can download free patterns, but on the download page it says that by downloading the pattern you are agreeing to use it only for your own personal use, and that you will not reproduce the pattern OR make items for sale from the pattern. So are you saying she doesn't have a legal leg to stand on? http://www.heatherbaileydesign.com/Headband.html Edited to add: Mrs. Mungo, you already answered me. Guess we cross posted.
  25. PrairieSong
    HayesW, thank you for the forum suggestion. I'll check it out.
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