We do not live anywhere near him; in fact, we live on a different continent. Believe me, the year he went off to university, I was praying fervently for him and would not have been surprised if he was home for good by October..... However, he moved to a city where we knew people, so he did have *some* people in his life which helped ease the transition. Our son also drives, so that puts him in a different category than your loved one. I must say, as I can see other posters have mentioned, that he does not live alone. He went from the dorms to a 2bdr apartment, sharing with someone else--strictly a business arrangement (California rents are $$$$$$). He found his placement off a site called roommate.com (Or something like that). They weren't friends, but weren't looking to be friends; just someone to share the rent with who was reliable and reasonable. Having met his apartment-mate, that fellow was probably also on the spectrum. ;-) My son only moved on because the other fellow was planning to marry. Now, DS is in a lovely 3bdr. house, sharing with two other guys (working professionals). (I have no idea how he found this arrangement, but I was impressed.) So again, not alone, but not having to work to maintain relationships after getting home from work either. I suppose it does help that he's always been fairly neat and tidy one--making him a good housemate..... Is your son feeling lonely? Or is that just your concern? I mean, I certainly have that concern about my son, but I've come to realize that for the most part, he's pretty happy with life right now. He's enjoying his work and they seem to value him (I'm so grateful). He goes off hiking, but on his own. He'll take in a movie on his own. (None of which *I* would do alone). He does have online buddies and I know those are meaningful to him. I keep him encouraging him to join a club, church, or Meet-up to find irl people that share his interests, but so far, he's keeping to himself and seems satisfied and fulfilled. Sorry I couldn't be of more help.....

This. Our Aspie, while not living at home, stayed living in the dorms (for 5 years!), slowly making progress in his studies, moved into an apartment all on his own, graduated, got a job (software engineer), moved into an even better apartment, and is doing well. So, for him it took until age 28 that I felt he was truly launched. In so many ways he is just now at the place his siblings were in their early 20s, but you know what? It doesn't matter in the scheme of things. He's matured SO VERY MUCH; I'm amazed and thrilled that he is regularly going on business trips. They are sent in teams, and he is the go-to tech guy. 🙂 I think Lori D's advice was spot on. And, above all, let him know (in whatever way is meaningful to him) that he is loved. Not that you don't, but sometimes our young adults don't see that we do.

Were you the one who recommended this in another thread? If so, on your recommendation, I ordered it (and got it here all the way over to Montenegro). Thanks!

Thanks for asking this. I could have written your posts. Maybe we will cross paths there. {Hugs}

This reminds me of the time we took the children to a petting zoo while visiting England. Our youngest, 3 at the time, had always declared pigs her favorite animal. Of course, the only "pigs" she had known up til then were the cute little piggies saying "oink" in her picture books. Imagine her shock when encountering a real, fat, muddy, black, snorting Berkshire pig. From that day forward, her favorite animals were guinea pigs! 🙂

I'm one of the international Americans, and I would add one more reason. Namely, that *sometimes* false motives/heart attitudes are being attributed based solely on outward (or perceived) behavior. Someone can be happily confident without thinking their way is the best or others are inferior, for example. Or giving blunt opinion without being mean. Nobody likes to be falsely judged.

I finished I, Claudius. It ends with Claudius becoming emperor; there is a second book detailing his actual reign (in fictional form), but I need a break from the vulgar decadence of the Roman era. So, in a completely different vein, I'll be starting The Book of the Dun Cow. I've read snippets in the past and the style of writing is rather lyrical, something I'm not used to, so this will be a stretcher book for me; I'm looking forward to it! I loved this book and have been recommending it right and left, even giving it as Christmas presents... Hmmm. Maybe I'll put that in my stack of 52 to read as a re-read. It would be fun to visit with the Count again.

This is true, but it is ALSO true of other peoples of other nationalities. When I'm walking through the capital city of Montenegro with my local friends, they can readily point out various people walking by (so not by language) from Russia (in particular) as well as Italy..... I ask them HOW they can tell, as they look like normal pedestrians to me, and they just shrug and say it is so obvious. 🙂

Just wanted to say "Congratulations!" What a weighty beginning; that essay title is really something! Tell me more about Either/Or! A quick google search only brought up grammar posts...... I tend to like to have a book of essays to dip into....

All this talk about which books were favorites when a child led me to think about my answer. I was an avid reader and I think I loved them all! From Dr. Seuss, all the serials (Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys (I had brothers!), Cherry Ames, Enid Blyton, etc.), the monthly book orders from Scholastic Books, to books borrowed from my parents--Dad read James Bond (on his business trips), Mom read romance plus blockbusters like Watership Downs, nearly everything by Pearl Buck, and grand epics by James Michener. No Classical literature but that's what adulthood is for. 😉

Can't read all the replies, but I'm an American living in Montenegro (South central Europe) and have travelled all over. Sadly, many people believe in an American culture as defined in movies and shows because they don't actually know many Americans. But with those who do know individual Americans, and from my personal experiences, I and others *can* usually spot the Americans (not tourists--we don't live in a touristy town) because of: Casual dress. Outgoingness. Definite Can-do attitude. Individualism. Now, where Americans often perceive all of these as "good" things, to some people in some cultures, it looks different. It just does. Casual dress-->uncaringness of general society/sloppiness Outgoingness-->pushy or not respecting others Can-do--> thinking you're better than others Individualism--> not respecting elders/traditions/family I can also say, that where we live, most people long to have the opportunities we have in the States and wish for the chance to move there. Ultimately, in this global world of ours, I think (and strive) to understand and appreciate other cultures (and all cultures have good/bad qualities); the things that bother me or seem wrong once had/still have a reason for being there....

For a bran muffin, we really enjoy this one: Banana Bran Muffin. I generally use less sugar (1/3-1/2 cup total) because the banana adds its own sweetness and opt out of choc. chips. (I'm not fond of choc. for breakfast). I've used both wheat bran and oat bran--whatever I had on hand. I agee with @parent above, that the best muffins are made with buttermilk (or yogurt which is what I use because I always have it on hand). And for a recipe with 2 c. (or so) of flour, I generally use 1/3c. sugar in the batter and sprinkle a little on top (like demerara sugar or cinnamon sugar).

I'm still using the older version of YNAB and don't import at all, so I can't directly help you, but I suggest asking on these questions on the YNAB forum found here: YNAB forum. There is one whole sub-section devoted to Credit Cards....

In the spirit of Kareni's Bookish posts, here's one from NPR that I enjoyed: Most checked out Books NYC Library We've read all except for #8. Nice to see good literature appeals through the ages..... I read this aloud to my children, oh so many years ago. And as I was reading this, and they are imagining the scene, they sat on the edges of the chair, little eyes getting bigger and bigger, and were SO relieved and happy when I finished. They memorized that poem and enjoyed reciting it often while doing up the dishes...

Could you put in a link for this? Also, does anyone have a good app or procedure for keeping a Commonplace Book? Now that I'm seriously reading again, it would be nice to have one place/way/method to note memorable quotes or examples of beautiful sentences..... Before I select one, I'd like to mine what my options are! TIA!

Just so you know, not only does McManus have the Bo series, but he wrote a number of very humorous books based on his love of the outdoors (eg. They Shoot Canoes, Don't They?". Here is a short but interesting article about him: Brief Intro to Pat McManus from one of his former (and now successful) writing students.

I disagree with this bolded statement. There is not some humanity in the past that is different than humanity today. The *problems* we deal with our different, but human nature is human nature--and any individual and community brings both good and bad. We *can* reflect on and work towards improving our community--starting from where we are and moving forward (not backward.) Study after study has shown that community--belonging and making a difference--is part and parcel of our humanity (but honestly, I don't think anyone needed a study to figure that out--common sense goes a long way here!). So, yes, being out in nature is good for the soul. Doesn't mean we need to all get back to the land. There is a reason why "good communities" have parks! And as far as isolation goes, I love reading about some of these creative solutions: the bringing back of boarding houses, for example (which have been illegal); the design of preschools being built near or having a room connected with an older folks home so the kids get one-on-one time, read to, and the older ones get to help out in a meaningful, doable way; the move to car-free zones or at least greater pedestrian/bicycle access in some communities; putting in gardens--flower and vegetables--at schools so kids get to sample the joy (and trials) of tending plants and reaping the harvest. And on a personal level, I'm astounded by how many people (not IRL, but on this board and others) who *don't* and *won't* invite people over to their homes. At heart, community is inviting people into your heart and life--I don't see how anyone expects to accomplish that if they are not even willing to have people over. (Note: I have no particular posters in mind, and yes, I know that in certain seasons of life, one's community might need to be very small).

There is a quick budget function--you can select ALL categories or just some and with a click of the button, it will fill the selected categories. The new YNAB includes goal features (not in the old) and I think they can help with making sure you meet certain goals. Something else for you to learn about! Now, to address the "multiple streams of income" issue. All the pre-web versions of YNAB stressed the importance of working towards (and getting there) of being one month ahead--meaning income earned in Jan gets earmarked to fund February expenses. Jan income was automatically placed (unless overridden) to a category called "Income Next Month". That income never messed with the current month--its job was to wait until next month. When the next month came around, all the money was there waiting to be allocated. Since I'm using the earlier edition of YNAB and we are living on last month's income, I only need to fill the budget once per month which is great from several vantage points--less time administrative time, I can see if some categories need less (ie. didn't spend all of Jan's grocery allotment, so it doesn't really need its typical full monthly amount), and again, it easier to see what's truly "extra" and can put be to our prioritized purposes. In the new YNAB, many people manually create this Income Next Month category and recreate that scenario. You can go to the forums and search on threads with those words. You'll see how many people credit budgeting that way as a major breakthrough for their finances and get tips on how to set it up, store the income, and release the funds for use in the month you want them.

I'm on the old school YNAB4 because it still works for me, so I don't import anything as far as transactions go. So, you'll need to visit the forums to ask your questions on the how-to's of linking, downloading, and reconciling with bank accounts automatically. But, even so, the *recommended* way to use even the most current YNAB is to record your transactions at the time of purchase (via the app for phone) or daily at home via the web and use the download feature as a check. What it looks like for me: Once a day, I sit down at the computer with YNAB open. I go to our credit card company website. I see which charges are pending (ie. just made that day or previously) and record it as spent (but not cleared). Thus: grocery store charge of $59.50 gets deducted from Groceries. Costco charge of $169.72 might get deducted into split categories: Groceries 69.72, Gifts 25.00, Personal spending (a book) 25.00, and clothing 50.00. Each of those categories now has that much less money in it. I then see which formerly pending CC charges have cleared. I clear them in YNAB, see that the balance of YNAB matches what the CC company says I owe and click reconcile. I now know how much money has been committed via the CC. YNAB and my CC company are in agreement at this point in time so any future discrepancies are easy to tease out. This takes like 1-2 minutes per day. The trick is to stay on top of it. (I can also say that I catch CC fraud right away and the CC company is very grateful for that!) After that, I go through our cash spending (and we live in a place with lots of cash-only transactions--the CC is much, much easier!). Between receipts and memories, I record our cash spending. Every few weeks, my husband and I count our available cash, see how it matches what YNAB says, try to remember any unrecorded expenditures, and reconcile at that point. (Most people don't need to use as much cash as we do and don't have to go through this). Lastly, I should point out that you can set up *recurring* transactions--so you can schedule transactions and they will pop up--you can either have them pre-filled with set amounts or a dummy amount that you update (ie. electric bill that might vary). So, you don't need to do a lot of typing once all this gets set up. Also, after some use, the YNAB software will anticipate which category to use with which payees. Eg. Payee: Aldi might automatically associate with the Grocery category and Cinemax with Family Entertainment. (These can always be changed, though) Definitely try the free trial and visit the forums/attend live online classes for any questions you have....

Yes, the money accumulates month after month in their respective envelopes--you'll not need to maintain separate accounts just to make sure you don't spend it. We have one primary checking and one primary savings accounts (for better interest) plus a few credit cards for the rewards (all paid in full). But I have over 30 categories (from typical monthly expenses like Groceries, Gas, Electricity, Tithe; for irregular expenses like Web domain Registration, Home Maintenance, Xmas, Birthday for Family, Gifts for others, Personal spending, Subscription fees; for wishlist categories like Next Vacation, Wedding (our kids are at that age....), and the like. I think even if not living month-to-month the method makes a huge difference. That was our situation--we were living within our means but not able to see the truly big picture. Thinking through categories, prioritizing, realizing that if we choose to spend on X, it means not spending on Y (or delaying Y), and then by *spending according to our well-thought out plans* means we find money almost effortlessly accruing. For example, we have a car replacement fund--not a huge priority at this point in our life but every month we tuck some money in there. I was shocked to realize that it is now well over $6000. So, while we don't expect to need a new car soon, if for some reason we do, we have a goodly chunk to put towards it (without effecting *any* of our other priorities!), and until then, we are slowly adding to that category.

I agree--it is hard to choose! My kids, now long gone, left some of his books behind on their shelves, so I picked up a few to read. I'm not a big one for fantasy, but I thoroughly enjoyed the few I read (a couple with Sam Vines--titles escape me). Pratchett writes well and manages to interweave humor, pathos and social commentary while telling a good story. That is my kind of book!

Not the OP, but we use Ynab (albeit the slightly older desktop only version). But, what makes it different is that it is an virtual envelope system. What does this mean? You keep track of all the money in your checking and savings accounts. Thinking through your priorities, you put ALL that money into "envelopes" called categories in YNAB. This ensures that you are not "double-booking" money. When you have a checking account with say, $1000 or even $10,000 in it, it is easy to say: Oooh! We can buy clothes, go on vacation, get that new vacuum, etc. without realizing that you really DON'T have the money to do all that. Note: this is where YNAB differs from most other software. You don't start with a budget (deciding on how much you *want* to spend in each category and allocating that all out), you start with the money you actually have. So, if you estimate your monthly expenses at $5000, but only have $4000 on hand, you fill out your categories/envelopes so that $4000 is allocated. On a more granular level, there are ways to keep track of how much you want in category (eg. putting the amount in the category name "Food $400), but if you only $300 on hand, you only allocate $300 and you only spend $300 until you get more money and decide to fund the envelope. How do you decide priorities? Depends on your financial situation. If you are paycheck to paycheck, you place the money in those categories that MUST be paid before the next paycheck. When you spend money, you record that transaction. If you end up needing to buy shoes, you check your clothing category to see how much is in there. At that point, you can buy shoes that cost no more than that amount OR, if don't have enough in the clothing category, you take the money out of a different, lower priority category (say Entertainment) and move it to clothing so you DO have enough. Rinse and repeat while learning whether or not you really can live within your means. Many people who think they can't live within their means find they can as they bring their spending in line with their income. Others find out that no, they really can't, so it spurs to get more income. For those of us not living paycheck to paycheck (in YNAB-speak it is called "living on last month's income" or "being buffered"), it becomes very clear how much money *is* extra each month beyond monthly expenses. Then we plan to cover known unknowns--like car repairs--we don't have a repair this month but we can guess that we eventually will. With that category (and others like it), ordinary life happenings aren't really emergencies--we've planned and saved for them. We can also begin saving for bigger expenses--like a new car, new house, vacation, or sending money to investments. Ultimately, YNAB is a fancy spreadsheet tool that helps you manage your money by 1. making you assigning every dollar to a category (also called "giving it a job"), 2. asking you to check your CATEGORY (not checking account) before spending from it to see if you have enough in there to spend from that envelope/category, 3. making it easy to reallocate dollars from one category to another, and 4. making it easy to learn and see one's true expenses and therefore know what is "extra." You asked for details, HTH!

Ooh! I've read that book--I thought the writing was fabulous. I particularly enjoyed the look at Post WWII Japan--the culture in general and the coming to terms of being on the "losing" side in particular. I just finished my first book of the year, The Heavenly Man. I'm glad I read it as someone had loaned it to me (months ago) and now I can return it. I must say, that the story itself didn't grip me. I don't know if it is because of translation issues or just personal style but the writing itself was.... lackluster, almost childish in stringing one idea after another with very little nuance or complexity of thought. I've read lots of bios/missionary bios and this one failed to grip me--partly because of the writing but also partly because I couldn't see myself ever facing the challenges he did.... Now that I'm finished and casting around for the next book, I amazed at all of you with your big lists of what to read with categories and all. At present, I think I will have two on my nightstand: The 36-Hour Caregiver which a fellow boardie recommended in another thread on dealing with the elderly and creeping dementia--something I dealing with as MIL moved in with us 4 months ago. This will be my "dip" book--love that term, btw. I, Claudius because it has been on the shelf for ages--picked up at a Friends of the Library sale and got misplaced in a move..... I kind of miss our homeschooling days (all mine are graduated from college now, so it has been awhile); it will be nice to revisit Ancient Rome. 😉 I've yet to print the Bingo sheet or that other one 20 in 20. Need to do that so I can start figuring which title is going to satisfy which category.... Happy Reading, everyone!

I'd have to add The King's Speech--one of my personal faves.

Ooh! Another Golden Age Mystery fan (GAMf) here! Hubby, too! Thanks for the Gilbert recommendation. Will be adding to my wishlist to read. One less known author you GAMfs might like is Cyril Hare. I've read several of his books and enjoyed them all. You might start with Tragedy at Law (which introduces you to Francis Pettigrew who appears in other stories) but is not necessary....