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About maggie18

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    Hive Mind Larvae

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  1. Does he have a poor sense of smell?
  2. I would request that the doctor do some tests. This article explains what kinds of tests. Maybe a referral to an endocrinologist?
  4. Also he could get those services even if he was not receiving SSI.
  5. I wasn't talking about him applying for SSI, I was talking about him obtaining services based on his Autism diagnosis-services like case management, supported living services, day programs, etc. And I agree with the PP who said that it's totally worth it for him to apply at Voc Rehab. They can help with lots of things that are barriers for him.
  6. You said he's on the Autism spectrum-does he have a case manager who is helping him obtain needed services?
  7. No worries! I was just confused, LOL!
  8. I am not sure what you mean about English assignments or not getting work turned in? He has already graduated from high school.
  9. I think he is eating reasonably well. I don't think he is getting enough sleep because he hangs out with his friends (especially on weekends) until late and has to get up early on Sat. mornings to go to work. He is outside for 10-11 hours a day working (construction). Good idea about the breathing/meditation piece...I will suggest he put an app on his phone and try doing that. He takes Vit C and a multivitamin.
  10. We have a home that we like picked out and there is room for him to move with us, and after reading the responses, I have a new perspective and new ideas. I think part of my issue is that I have heard a lot about "failure to launch" and was feeling pressured to help him move out. But I think we need to work with him on learning more life skills first and encouraging him to seek out that life coach (or requiring it). He hasn't wanted to consider meds for his anxiety, but I think they would help him. I tend to forget that with his ADHD, that means developmentally he is about three years behind emotionally, and then you add in the "maybe ASD," which of course compounds it. When we met with the psychologist who did his eval, he told us that he is right on the border of being on/not on the spectrum, and that he could have 10 other evaluators test him and 5 would say he is on the spectrum and 5 would say he isn't. He told us in person that he thinks our son IS on the spectrum, but when we got the written report, it said he has "Other Specified Neurodevelopmental Disorder: Criterion A of Autism Spectrum Disorder" along with "Unspecified Depressive disorder." Also change is really hard for him (which is so common for people on the spectrum) and so he is not happy that we are selling our house and moving, even though he is welcome to, and planning on, moving with us. I think it is easy for me to almost forget about the "invisible disabilities"-if someone uses a wheelchair, you literally see their struggles, but for someone who has these other disabilities, it can be easy to minimize or almost forget about the impact of them on their day to day functioning. I am grateful to all of you for your perspectives and thoughts!
  11. Wow, thank you all so much. I appreciate every response and really value the advice! 😊
  12. Just remembered to add this-the last time he mentioned going to a certain school/trade program, I asked him if he wanted help knowing the process and he said yes. So I emailed him a step by step list of what he would need to do to go to that school. And he didn't do any of the steps and hasn't t mentioned it again. So we are trying to break down the steps for him, but then he does not follow through.
  13. Yes, he is already paying rent to us. His expenses are his phone, his car insurance, gas for his car, repairs as needed for his car, rent, clothes, and miscellaneous like movies/eating out. Good question for him about where he sees himself in a year. I suspect that when I ask him, he will say "I don't know" because that is what he usually says when I ask him a question.
  14. So we have a DS who is almost 20. ( he is our youngest child) . He was homeschooled until grade 10, then private schooled through graduation. He struggles with ADHD, executive functioning, some anxiety/depression, and had an psych evaluation last year that he initiated, for ASD. The report stated that he met the diagnosis for Criteria A but regarding Criteria B, he demonstrated some of the behaviors, but the behaviors are not creating enough of a functional impairment to warrant diagnosis. He has had some counseling, but has not been in about a year. After high school, he moved out of the state for the summer and worked and lived in an apartment doing sales. The job didn't go as well as he had hoped, and at the end of the summer when the job ended, he returned to our state and back home, telling us he would be moving out by fall. That did not occur and he is still living with us. He works 50 hours a week, has his own vehicle and pays for his own car insurance. He pays us rent as well. He has talked about going to community college or joining the military but does not follow through with anything. He will just randomly bring up going to college and I will remind him that we will help him get started, pay for it, etc but then he does not follow through or say any more about it for a few months, then he will bring it up again, but then again, do nothing. It is fine with us if he keeps working and doesn't go to college...we are not pushing him to go to college, and honestly I am not sure he would be successful there as school was not easy for him, but he seems lost and we may be dealing with a bit of "failure to launch." I found a local life coach who works with people who have these issues, and gave him the contact info and encouraged him to call the coach, but he has not called him. He has talked about moving out with his friends, but they just talk about it and don't actually do it. His room is a chronic mess and he has not changed his sheets in a few months, which is gross. He brings plates of food to his room and does not bring them back to the kitchen as soon as we would like and this has been an ongoing issue. That said, he is otherwise respectful. We have no reason to believe he is drinking or doing drugs. He has friends that he hangs out with, and a new girlfriend. DH and I are moving soon to a smaller house (in the same general area) and had hoped he would have moved out by now. He says he's scared to be out on his own, but won't explain what exactly he's scared of. How can I help my son take the next steps toward being independent? Any advice welcome. Please don't quote.
  15. Very much so. Went from a conservative, born again, fundamentalist Christian homeschooling parent to an agnostic who is learning about Religious Trauma Syndrome and spiritual abuse. Went from believing in women submitting to their husbands to being anti patriarchy and a feminist. Went from a die hard "children must obey the first time or you should spank them because the Bible says so" to being against spanking and informed about trauma. Went from liking Trump to very much disliking Trump. Went from being against homeschool regulations to being for them. Went from going to church and Bible studies to having zero desire to ever enter a church again for any reason, and horrified at the number of pastors and church leaders who have been caught ( and many more who have not been caught) sexually abusing children and advising women who are in abusive relationships to just "submit more." Went from being someone who was a black and white thinker to a person who thinks for myself and sees all the shades of gray.
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