How do you deal...

[Mommyof1]

With your strong willed child?

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

 

 

Patience. Lots of patience, and the understanding that traditional parenting styles won't work.

[Arcadia]

It runs on my side of the family :lol: There must be a hereditary strong will gene somewhere up the family tree on my paternal and maternal side (just kidding).

 

Both my kids are strong willed in different ways. Had lots of practice babysitting my countless nephews and nieces. My nieces were teased as Margaret Thatcher.

[wintermom]

Definitely, pick your battles. I think the siblings sometimes have a way harder time dealing with it than parents. I feel for my other dc, especially as we homeschool and spend so much time together. 

[fairfarmhand]

Remind yourself that this kid is not an easy kid, but they are still a good kid.

 

Lots of self care.

 

remind yourself it's not your fault. Jesus could be her parent and she'd still be really really hard.

 

Find unique, age appropriate parenting techniques. Many of the traditional techniques don't work well for strong willed kids. (remember the brother in A River Runs Through It? )

 

Remind yourself of the point of discipline. It's not to teach them a lessson or show them who's boss. It's to remind them that behavior has consequences. I tried to use logical consquences that were related to whatever happened. (tantrums at the store, mean we leave the store. Not cleaning up toys means that there may be fewer toys accessible)

 

Strong willed+lagging skills means frustration for everyone.Recognize the difference between frustration and disobedience.

 

Listen. My dd can handle being overruled, although she'll never like it, if she feels like I at least listened to her points.

 

ETA: Realize that God gave you THIS CHILD for a reason. Not just so you can parent well, but also because you need to learn from them as well.

Edited August 26, 2017 by fairfarmhand

[fairfarmhand]

Definitely, pick your battles. I think the siblings sometimes have a way harder time dealing with it than parents. I feel for my other dc, especially as we homeschool and spend so much time together. 

 

Yeah. My other kids do sometimes get tired of the constant conflict, although it is MUCH better now than it used to be.

 

 

[Mommyof1]

My Dd4 is a happy child with a sunny disposition. She will defy you to your face with an angelic look on hers. Totally not what I'm used to seeing. Strong wills run very deep on my side. The Queen reigns supreme in my Mother.

 

I'm just a highly sensitive person who hates conflict and I have a child that enjoys it. Just like her Daddy. They like to poke the bear with stick and think it's fun. That's just hyperbole not a real bear.;)

Edited August 26, 2017 by Mommyof1

[Kiara.I]

I try to educate myself constantly on self-control and good parenting techniques.  I remind myself to breathe.

Sometimes I just bite my tongue and walk out of the room because the issue resolves itself if there's nobody there to fight.  ("I will NEVER do copywork AGAIN!  EVER!  No matter WHAT!  And you can't make me!"  I walked out.  Five minutes later I walked back in and the child was calmly doing copywork.  Er....alright then.   :coolgleamA: )

 

Oh, and I make sure to spend time really snuggling and connecting with the child, and celebrating the great parts of them.  This particular child tends to have a physical touch love language so morning snuggles help quite a bit.  And for that matter, I try to celebrate the strong will, because that IS a great part.  If somewhat challenging in spots.

[bettyandbob]

With patience AND taking care of yourself. If you don't spend time taking care of yourself you won't be able to properly care for others, including those who are difficult.