The tables have turned, I feel bad for my oncologist

[3 ladybugs]

Yesterday I went to my oncologist for my 6 year post remission visit (yes I can go to a normal doctor now but doctors freak out when they hear you have had cancer so going to the oncologist is my way of keeping my other doctors sane). I am still in remission! YAY!

 

However in passing I mention that I homeschool my oldest. She has 3 daughters and she says she more or less does that even though she sends her children to public school. She says that the science is SOO bad that she is having to reteach it as they are learning to hate science. She said she would love to stay home and homeschool them but she is one of the few experts in her field. She specializes in women who find their cancer while pregnant, or who want to maintain their fertility while going through treatment. She has a whole wall of babies that she has saved the mothers of (my youngest is on that wall ;) )

 

So now the shoe is on the other foot. I have been seeing her for so long that I actually feel bad for her now, instead of her looking at as the mom of a 15 month old with a VERY aggressive form of lymphoma. 

 

ETA  As I left I told her I think I would cry if she retired, I have lost 2 gyn/OB's in 2 years to retirement and I couldn't handle finding another oncologist! She assured me she isn't going anywhere. 

Edited July 1, 2016 by 3 ladybugs

[Reefgazer]

I'm happy you have been in remission for 6 years! 

 

Well, this post just goes to show you that we all have these pressures to make sure our kids get what they need. 

[catz]

I wouldn't feel too bad for her. She's likely smart and resourceful. I have to say I know more than one woman who went to medical school and wished for a do over after having kids. Men too for that matter. It's a challenging path to balance. We lost our favorite ped because she chose to stay home with kids.

[rjand6more]

My endocrinologist was like her.  She would tell me every time I saw her that she wanted my life.:)  She didn't even want kids when she got married and had 5.  Never realized how fulfilling being a mom could be.    She wished she could stay home with them(and homeschool).  But, she was the breadwinner.  Her husband would never support her quitting work.  She hugged me every visit and said how very lucky I was. 

[ElizabethB]

Could she hire someone to do the basics and homeschool science herself? I don't know the legality of that in your state, but something to consider...

[TranquilMind]

So glad you are well, and may it remain so for life.  

 

 

 

 

[AK_Mom4]

Wonderful to hear you are doing well!

 

I lost my beloved OBGYN to homeschooling.  Shortly after DD15 was born, my OBGYN retired to homeschool her daughter.  She still consulted at the practice, but no longer saw patients.

[3 ladybugs]

She likely lives in PA. Pennsylvania is VERY tight on homeschooling (compared to New Jersey, I am not sure generally). I know she has family in India so she might be able to work out something where her family home schools them for the summer (for instance) there. However I think honestly she probably is one of those rock and a hard spot positions. She probably makes too much and is too well educated to just let them be in public school or qualify for aid to a private school, yet she can't afford to send them to on of the elite private schools in the area. It has got to be exhausting to do what she does do with her children. 

 

I do think her job at times has a more normal schedule. She doesn't need to be there in the afternoon even if she has patients that are still in chemo (my chemo took about 4 hours to deliver). I have been there on days before she leaves on vacation and it is a MAD house. So I don't imagine she does that very often (sadly). 

 

Also her rates haven't went up in years (to my knowledge). We got EOB's until last year and they were the same as I paid in 2011. So I imagine even though she is an expert in her field, she still works for a major hospital. Not everyone with a "Dr" before their name is a millionaire. In fact most aren't. (If only it were that simple!)

[ElizabethB]

PA is tough, but I wonder if she could make homeschooling work if she did a lot of DVD progams, audio read alouds, and workbook programs and had someone watch the kids and clean house and cook all meals while she worked. She could teach in the evenings and have them do homework the next day while she was gone. If she homeschooled year round and had family help in the summer, she might be able to make it work.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

Is not full time tutoring allowed in PA since that is a teacher?

[Alicia64]

Wonderful news! Good for you on your remission!!

 

Alley

[MedicMom]

I had NO idea that I would want to stay at home with my children until I had them.

By then I had too many student loans to consider it. I am better educated and can make more money than DH, so he will never agree to it. I compromise by trying to work only two days a week(albeit 24 hour shifts) or other flexible arrangements.

 

It still makes me sad.