Scenario with dd's Spanish/tutor. WWYD??

[StaceyinLA]

My 3 kids left at home are taking Spanish lessons with a private teacher. It's my kids and 2 other families' kids (6 kids in all) in the class. It has been great. She is a really good teacher and I know my kids have learned a TON. The price is MORE than fair. I'm paying $15/week for my 3 kids to take a 1 1/2 hour lesson. It's next to NOTHING for what she has done for them.

 

However, there is one problem:

 

14yodd (soon to be 15), 9th grade, is taking the class along with 16yodd and 12yods. Well, 16dd and 12ds are having no trouble with the class and are really getting Spanish. I mean they have a grasp on it like I can't even believe, doing all the verb tenses, translating, conversation, the whole bit. The teacher always comments on how good they are at it.

 

14yodd has a lot of trouble with it. I mean, it's all like a, gasp, foreign language to her. ;- p The teacher doesn't seem to understand WHY she can't just, "get it," like her siblings, and treats her like she doesn't try. She doesn't seem like she can grasp the fact that dd just can't understand it and pick it up like other dd and ds. Of course, 12yods doesn't help when he basically tells her she is stupid for not understanding it, right in front of everyone.

 

So, the trouble is, dd really doesn't want to stay in the class. The year is almost up and I KNOW she has had more Spanish than oldest dd had in SOS Year 1 already, but I know she NEEDS 2 full years. They started late last year so they have basically had a full year so far, even though some at the beginning was review.

 

I do have a neighbor who is fluent in Spanish and I have e-mailed her about possibly tutoring in between classes, which could either give dd enough confidence to stick it out because she would finally get it, or give her an option of just working with the neighbor and not going to the class at all. I just don't know what the neighbor's answer will be yet, though I think she is likely to say yes. I guess I am just at a loss as of now.

 

Anyway, WWYD? Would you make this child stay in this class?

[Jean in Newcastle]

Try tutoring at first (if your time and financial budgets can handle it). See if she improves in the class. If there is no difference after a month of extra tutoring, I'd take her out. Then if she had a good relationship with the tutor, I'd give her a private class just with the tutor. She doesn't need the added pressure of having to deal with what other people think or say about her. (Or you could just take her out immediately and switch her to the neighbor/tutor but that might narrow your options if it doesn't work out with the new tutor and you wanted to put her back with the class (because they would be in different places etc.))

[GreenKitty]

If she wants out of the class I would let her. Is she interested in another lauguage? You could purchase a program for her to learn at home, all of her own. She could do that while the others are at class.

[DIY-DY]

My 3 kids left at home are taking Spanish lessons with a private teacher. It's my kids and 2 other families' kids (6 kids in all) in the class. It has been great. She is a really good teacher and I know my kids have learned a TON. The price is MORE than fair. I'm paying $15/week for my 3 kids to take a 1 1/2 hour lesson. It's next to NOTHING for what she has done for them.

 

However, there is one problem:

 

14yodd (soon to be 15), 9th grade, is taking the class along with 16yodd and 12yods. Well, 16dd and 12ds are having no trouble with the class and are really getting Spanish. I mean they have a grasp on it like I can't even believe, doing all the verb tenses, translating, conversation, the whole bit. The teacher always comments on how good they are at it.

 

14yodd has a lot of trouble with it. I mean, it's all like a, gasp, foreign language to her. ;- p The teacher doesn't seem to understand WHY she can't just, "get it," like her siblings, and treats her like she doesn't try. She doesn't seem like she can grasp the fact that dd just can't understand it and pick it up like other dd and ds. Of course, 12yods doesn't help when he basically tells her she is stupid for not understanding it, right in front of everyone.

 

So, the trouble is, dd really doesn't want to stay in the class. The year is almost up and I KNOW she has had more Spanish than oldest dd had in SOS Year 1 already, but I know she NEEDS 2 full years. They started late last year so they have basically had a full year so far, even though some at the beginning was review.

 

I do have a neighbor who is fluent in Spanish and I have e-mailed her about possibly tutoring in between classes, which could either give dd enough confidence to stick it out because she would finally get it, or give her an option of just working with the neighbor and not going to the class at all. I just don't know what the neighbor's answer will be yet, though I think she is likely to say yes. I guess I am just at a loss as of now.

 

Anyway, WWYD? Would you make this child stay in this class?

 

You can change the class plan, pick a different language, find a private tutor, but if your 14yo is hearing - from anyone in the home - that she's "stupid", she's going to find herself making that part of her internal dialogue and it's going to follow her.

 

Words have meaning, and they have weight. Moreso, I believe, while we are young and have yet to develop our "filters" that allow us to blow off people who are speaking out of turn. So, in order to keep that from eroding your 14yo's internal foundation, I'd pull the 12yo aside and have a talk about being an encourager and not pulling other people down, about different people having different gifts - whatever angle your family philosophy would stem from on this issue, that's the place I'd start. And make darned sure everybody concerned knew it was going to stop.

 

From there, I'd probably talk w/ the tutor about how you see this situation and ask for her input on how to make the rest of this year as productive as possible for your 14yo. Then, when they year's up, look at something different, either another language or a separate program, as GreenKitty suggested.

 

{{hugs}} It's hard to see our children struggle with things that come so easily to those around them. That doesn't mean they can't do it, and even enjoy it. It just means we sometimes have to help them find another way to approach it, or another way to look at it. But oh, it's HARRRRDDDD to see them flounder!

 

HTH,

Dy

[lynn]

Has she picked up enough to atleast pass the class with a "C"? With my child I'd give them the "C" for their hs grade and credit then get a tutor before going on to Spanish 2 which should help bring GPA up with a higher grade for Spanish 2. If she is not getting it at all a tutor might be a good idea to get the credit she needs.

[Elisabeth in IL]

You can change the class plan, pick a different language, find a private tutor, but if your 14yo is hearing - from anyone in the home - that she's "stupid", she's going to find herself making that part of her internal dialogue and it's going to follow her.

 

Words have meaning, and they have weight. Moreso, I believe, while we are young and have yet to develop our "filters" that allow us to blow off people who are speaking out of turn. So, in order to keep that from eroding your 14yo's internal foundation, I'd pull the 12yo aside and have a talk about being an encourager and not pulling other people down, about different people having different gifts - whatever angle your family philosophy would stem from on this issue, that's the place I'd start. And make darned sure everybody concerned knew it was going to stop.

 

From there, I'd probably talk w/ the tutor about how you see this situation and ask for her input on how to make the rest of this year as productive as possible for your 14yo. Then, when they year's up, look at something different, either another language or a separate program, as GreenKitty suggested.

 

This is great advice and so true. If she thinks that she is dumb and can't learn Spanish, it will become a self-fulfilling prophesy. I'd use the tutor if she is willing to help and you can afford it.

[abbeyej]

It sounds to me like the *problem* is with 12yo ds. It's *okay* to have a subject where you struggle and have to work extra hard. Outside tutoring (either with your neighbor or the original class tutor -- possibly both) may make all the difference in the world for your daughter. And since it's important for her education, I would be very hesitant to let her drop out. (Especially before trying everything else to help her keep up.)

 

But I'm *really* concerned about the 12yo and the words and attitude he's displaying to his sister. Showing contempt to his sister and treating her cruelly is much more serious than finding a class challenging, and over the course of his lifetime, it's going to be a lot more important that he learn to treat others with kindness and respect than that he can conjugate Spanish verbs.

 

And I think it's time to sit him down and tell him that on no uncertain terms. And lay out *painful* consequences (what in his life would he most hate to lose?) if he can't shape up.

 

After that, I'd talk to the teacher.

 

As a language teacher in a classroom, it can be difficult for me to focus on a single child who's falling behind the class as a whole. I'm always happy to arrange to meet with my students outside of class to work with them, but it's up to them to show a willingness to do that. In your case, since you're paying so very little for class already, I think you should offer to pay for weekly tutoring for her... But having the one-on-one focus with the teacher may make all the difference in the world.

 

PS- Last thing... I have had some kids struggle in my classes. The ones who roll their eyes when I ask them to translate or sigh or don't have their books open to the right page (to follow along) *definitely* give me the impression they aren't trying. Now perhaps that's unfair -- perhaps they aren't trying because they feel like they're behind -- but it's a lot harder to have patience with kids who are doing little things like that that indicate to me that they don't care, that they think being in my class is a waste of time... I'm not saying at all that that's what your dd is doing -- I'm just wondering if she's indicating to the teacher to the best of her ability that she *wants* to be there and she *wants* to learn. It can make a big difference in how the teacher views her and how much she wants to help her individually over hurdles...

[StaceyinLA]

with my son. However, just be aware that my kids tend to be brutally honest with one another most of the time. She wouldn't hesitate to tell him something he was doing, or not doing, was stupid. He is actually very kind and thoughtful with his sisters most of the time. I do think he does this to show off, and I have talked with him about it. But I can tell you, even if he said encouraging words in front of them, she'd still be embarrassed that he said anything.

 

I believe that it is the teacher's attitude more than any other. It's almost like the kids are picking up the fact that SHE thinks dd is too stupid to figure it out so they just kind of throw it out there. I don't know. It is frustrating.

 

I am letting her stay home today, and I am sending a note to the teacher that I want to talk with her. I will explain everything to her and see what kind of response I get. If she is rude and unresponsive, I will take dd out of the class, and seriously reconsider whether I want my other kids in for next year. Although I think they are getting a super Spanish education that I don't know if they could get elsewhere, I will rethink it if she is not willing to be more encouraging to my dd.

 

That being said, what program would be a good one to follow up with? I am not going to use Rosetta Stone because it doesn't cover nearly the amount of grammar, if any at all. I used SOS in the past, but don't know if getting year 1 would be worth it, and I'm not sure if she could do year 2 yet. Others? We tried Learnables before we found the tutor and they felt like they learned nothing.