Keeping up with it all... how do you do it?

[jenL]

This is my first year homeschooling (ds is in K), and I'm struggling to keep up with everything which makes me so fearful since it will only get harder. We have an extremely busy 2yo ds who is in need of near-constant attention since he's so active. He takes up a good amount of my day and energy. I feel as if I'm short-changing my oldest son as a result. I'm also struggling with keeping up with housework (I feel like there's clutter everywhere), errands, and friendships. I'd love to hear any advice or ideas as to making this whole process easier. Friends (who don't homeschool) don't really understand me right now, and they say it will get easier when the youngest is older. I need help now since I feel as if every day is me trying to survive! :blink:

[jonesloonybin]

:lurk5:

 

I would love an answer to this...or maybe a way to clone myself? Or freeze time??? :001_smile:

[MamaT]

I have found it helps to be really organized. There is no way to homeschool, take care of young children, and your home and just wing it.

When my dc were younger and I had three 2 and under while trying to school the other three, I didn't worry about the house during the day. I just did school when the littles were asleep or happy. Right before dinner, we would do a pick-up. We did housework on the weekends so dh could help (at least keep the kids out of the way).

 

Now that they are older, they all help out with the housework. I remember how overwhelming it can be, though. Hang in there. I'm sure you will find a rythm that works for you.

[angieathome]

A few quick tips--get rolling bins with lids to put in the corners of cluttery rooms to collect the stuff in semi-categorized organized chaos. I use the size that will hold file folders. I have one with file folders in it, also one bin per child that each child maintains and one for my teacher's books---you get the picture. You can quickly roll them out of the room and hide them if you need to. As for keeping up with friends, once a week, schedule some kind of appointment with a friend to take a walk, go to dinner, attend a homeschool meeting, etc. PUT IT ON THE CALENDAR. It is a priority. Let some other less imprtant stuff stuff go: buying the perfect greeting card or gift, grocery shopping every week (it's OK if you run out of some stuff every now and then), etc. Finally, do you have too much stuff? I found that in homeschool meetings when we talked about clutter, we all admitted that we had too much stuff, more than we could clean, organize and manage. Consider keeping a donation box that you continually re-fill and take to a charity once a month or so. These tips will not work for everyone, so, please just take them as a suggestion. Good luck!

[rafiki]

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[Suzanne in ABQ]

Chapters.

 

The simple concept of thinking of my life in terms of Chapters has helped me tremendously in the long haul.

 

It goes back to "Sure, I can have everything, and do everything, just not all at once."

 

You homeschool, you have a 2yo, you have a house to keep, you have your husband to take care of, you have yourSELF to take care of, you have your friends, and your extended family. And, you have about 18 hours each day to do it all in. That's a lot. If you sat down and made a schedule, you would probably find that there is really no realistic way to fit it all in well. You can't do it all well, and do it all at once.

 

So, you rotate. With the exception of caring for your 2yo (which really DOES get easier as he gets older), you can allot times for each of the other things, and rotate your priorities based on your life. If it's important for your house to be clean on Thursdays because your mom usually drops in on that day, then take your focus off of homeschooling for the few hours it takes to get the house cleaned up. Or, if the house can really wait during the week, limit cleaning to just "picking up" during the week, and do your focused cleaning on Saturday morning. Whatever works. I tell myself, "A time will come, sooner than I expect, that the house will be clean and "staged" and beautiful all the time. It will also be quiet. And, I'll have lots of time to read whatever I want, and go to the spa for facials, and get my haircut more often than every 3 months. But, now is not that time. Right now, my life is noisy, and messy, and active, and incredibly busy. I love it!

 

You may need to limit your friendships. It's hard, but it's necessary. I've found that I simply cannot maintain as many friendships as I have in the past. It's sad, and even very lonely at times. But, I go back to the "Chapters" concept again. There will come a time when I'll be able to "do lunch" with my friends, and have long leisurely conversations, and go to movies with them, and have girls' night out, and fun stuff like that. But, right now, during this chapter of my life, my priorities are my children, and their education, and their well being.

 

I do what I can, when I can. I rotate my housekeeping, and my homeschooling lessons, and my extravagant cooking, and the other things that need to be done. I do them all, changing my focus to what is most important at a given time. I let the rest go slightly, or completely, and the need dictates. Eventually, everything gets done.

 

This lifestyle may drive you nuts, depending on your personality, but it's worked for me for almost 8 years! My old friends don't understand me, either. But, my newer friends, my homeschooling friends, understand completely!

 

Oh, and you might consider cutting back on what you're doing for Kindergarten. I never needed to supplement Phonics Pathways with ETC or FIAR. I used just PP with some phonics based, decodable readers, and both my kids were reading well after 18 months. Same with math. You don't really need to complete math programs, especially in Kindergarten. You should be able to do your K seatwork in less than 45 minutes a day. If you're trying to do all that you have listed in your signature, you really should consider cutting some of it out. Either rotate programs, or cut out the stuff that doesn't work, and keep the rest. Just a thought.

 

I need to go do history now. Hope something here is helpful,

Suzanne

[CalicoKat]

This is my first year homeschooling (ds is in K), and I'm struggling to keep up with everything which makes me so fearful since it will only get harder. We have an extremely busy 2yo ds who is in need of near-constant attention since he's so active. He takes up a good amount of my day and energy. I feel as if I'm short-changing my oldest son as a result. I'm also struggling with keeping up with housework (I feel like there's clutter everywhere), errands, and friendships. I'd love to hear any advice or ideas as to making this whole process easier. Friends (who don't homeschool) don't really understand me right now, and they say it will get easier when the youngest is older. I need help now since I feel as if every day is me trying to survive! :blink:

The good and bad is that what works this year or next won't necessarily work in the future. So figure out what works now--but hold lightly to it because it may or may not be the end solution.

 

Figure out what your biggest challenges are and ask the ladies here for specifics on how they have tackled it. Read the responses and modify for your family's needs & individual foibles.

 

For me laundry has been a huge challenge. A couple tips I picked up here that have worked

 

- each family member has 2 baskets. And they alternate between standing in for dirties upstairs or being filled with clean downstairs. I use smaller baskets to smaller kids can manage. My 4 yo is can carry his and looves being part of carrying it all upstairs.

 

-- I keep a sock box. I have officially fired myself from sorting and folding socks. It's a waste of time and energy, IMO. I throw all socks into this box in the laundry room and when they want a pair they come and get it. DH prefers his in his basket and I'm happy to oblige.

 

-- I no longer turn things right side out. I was and fold in the way it's received. Sorry, it's not a priority.

 

--The basket on top the laundry machine is for putting in randome clothing items found lying on the floor throughout the day. Throw it in the basket so it doesn't clutter the floor of my very small laundry room.

 

-- Each family member has their own color coded set of towels. I know instantly who's towel is on the floor -- or who attempted to flush their warshrag down the toilet.... :001_huh:

 

Meals have been another challenge. Home prepared. Food sensitivities. Yikes! I hate cooking. Then I discovered freezer meals and once again meal prep has become more enjoyable for me and the family. It makes the budget happy.

 

Being organized is an evolutionary process. Hold lightly to offered solutions until you determine if they "fit." Your 2 year old will grow up in time. Your Ker is pretty young too. Enjoy the kiddos. Help them to enjoy each other and learning.

[The Governess]

Well, in my experience, it DOES get easier. :001_smile:

 

When I started homeschooling my dd4 last fall, dd2 had just turned two and took up a lot more of my attention than she does now. Six months has already made so much difference. She will sit and color, cut and paste, play with playdoh, etc. for at least half the time that dd4 is doing school. When we first started, I would have been lucky to get 10 minutes out of her.

 

Does your younger son nap? I do half of dd4's schooltime during dd2's nap. Then I do other things around the house (laundry, light cleaning, meal prep, etc.) while dd2 is awake.

 

Another thing that has really helped me get it all done is asking my dh for help. He has started getting the girls breakfast in the morning which helps me a LOT. I stay up until 12 most nights, and get up when he leaves for work at 8. The girls usually get up at 7, have breakfast with dh, and then I get up around 8 and we start school at 8:30 or 9:00. The girls go to bed at 8, and I use that nice 4 hour block (with no interruptions and a quiet house!) between 8 pm and 12 to hang out with dh, read, pay bills, do school planning, clean up the kitchen, sweep, fold laundry, etc. It's been a lifesaver.

 

I hope you find something soon that works for you! :grouphug:

[TxMama]

It doesn't get any harder than homeschooling with a 2yo running around.:smilielol5:

 

Each year will have it's challenges but those challenges will change.

 

As far as housework. Find a system that works for you and just do it. In a few years you will have 2 extra people helping you and housework will no longer be a challenge! Right now Motivated Moms is helping me stay on top of the housework. A few years ago it was speed Cleaning but I no longer can commit a day/morning to cleaning.

 

I eliminate decisions. I have a daily menu so I no longer have to think .....what's for dinner? or lunch? or breakfast or snacks for that matter. Want to confuse my kids? Serve mac and cheese on a Wednesday.

 

Learn to say NO. NO is empowering. Homeschooling mamas really need to say no. No to outside commitments, No to complicated friendships......

 

It will get easier and you will be sad when you homeschooling days are behind you!

[Colleen]

When you say you feel you're short-changing your oldest, are you thinking in terms of school? It's pretty difficult to short-change a 5 year old in that department. On the other hand, it's quite easy to try and do more than necessary ~ especially with the oldest.

 

Think of it this way: Is this year really any different than last? Were you struggling last year, trying to keep up with housework, friendships, errands, etc? If not, why not? Is the primary difference the fact that your oldest is now in kindergarten? If so, that in and of itself shouldn't make a great deal of difference, given his age.

 

To that end, I'd encourage you not to overdo it right now in terms of "school" in the strict sense of the word, but to enjoy this season of little people. Because, at the risk of sounding discouraging, I disagree with others who have said it does get easier. Some things get easier, no question, but a lot of other things come into play that add to the mix. I know it gets tiresome when people say this season in your life will pass quickly, but it will. Truly. Enjoy it for what it is.

 

Oh, and as far as housework is concerned, my only real tip is to just stay on top of it daily. Run the vacuum every day or two, keep the bathrooms in decent condition, etc ~ don't let things pile up and overwhelm you.

 

Best to you!:)

[jenL]

Thank you to everyone who replied to my questions here! You've given me some great ideas and have helped me to put it back into perspective. My kids are young, and I do need to enjoy them. And, I am trying to do too much. I loved the poster who said that I need to rotate things -- that's a great idea! I tried to quote some of your posts, but my ignorance with this board had my message all wrong -- oops! Each response gave me something to ponder, and they made so much sense. Sometimes it's easy to lose site of that when you are feeling overwhelmed.

 

I think some of my issues are also mental in that I find myself still comparing myself to my friends whose kids are in school, and so their houses are cleaner, or they have more time, or they just seem more put together. I need to end this and find my own sense of self and contentment as our lives are completely different. We chose to homeschool because we wanted our kids to be kids longer, didn't agree with the school's way of doing things (I was a ps English teacher), and we couldn't afford the local private schools. Making this decision was a HUGE step from the norm for us, and I think I'm still holding on to some of my "old life" and viewpoints from it even though this is what I still feel is best for us, especially my oldest ds. Anyway, I think I've just not found my niche in it yet, if that makes sense? Each day, I feel like I'm getting closer, but I have a bit to go. I'm trying to garner ideas now, however, so it can become easier as we move forward.

 

Thanks again to everyone! I really appreciate it!

Edited March 26, 2009 by jenL
couldn't get other posts to quote properly in my response.

[Alicia64]

I'm the winner of the dorkiest answer. Here goes.

 

I also have two Kinders this year and I'm new and was freaking out in one way or another. I don't have a 2 yr. old though.

 

I just happened to read the Little House on the Prairie book series to the boys -- I know you have limited time -- but seeing how Ma and Pa essentially homeschooled made a huge impression on me.

 

Now when I feel like the boys aren't getting to see enough friends, go to enough bday parties, whatever, I stack it against the rich relationships the Ingalls family had with each other.

 

And I also agree with Wendy: we'll miss this when it's over.

 

I know I miss my two year olds. :crying:

 

A.

[Peela]

I suggest you check out Flylady.net

I couldnt have homeschooled without Flylady. I discovered her before I started homeschooling, and it was actually what allowed me to even consider homeschooling as an option.

[Rosy]

Sometimes when I'm overwhelmed I'll make a schedule, just to see how everything fits together. I rarely follow it, it's more of a time budget than anything. Usually when I put things into concrete #s/time slots, I realize certain things take longer than I'm allowing for, or certain activities might not take as long as I'd been thinking. It also helps me to see when I need to cut something out. I might follow the schedule for a week or two, but knowing what I can and can't do helps me find balance, if that doesn't sound completely crazy. :)

[choirfarm]

Chapters.

 

 

You may need to limit your friendships. It's hard, but it's necessary. I've found that I simply cannot maintain as many friendships as I have in the past. It's sad, and even very lonely at times. But, I go back to the "Chapters" concept again. There will come a time when I'll be able to "do lunch" with my friends, and have long leisurely conversations, and go to movies with them, and have girls' night out, and fun stuff like that. But, right now, during this chapter of my life, my priorities are my children, and their education, and their well being.

 

 

I'm not sure if I agree with this. I looked around this year and discovered I had NO friends and no relationships because I was so busy doing. I think relationships need to be a PRIORITY. Now keeping up with tons of friends or doing what you used to do..no. But I had neglected myself and it caused me to burn out. So I put dates with hubby and have worked on rebuilding a friendship with one lady and it has really helped. You cannot neglect relationships and just expect to pick them back up.

[Annabel Lee]

I'm not sure if I agree with this. I looked around this year and discovered I had NO friends and no relationships because I was so busy doing. I think relationships need to be a PRIORITY. Now keeping up with tons of friends or doing what you used to do..no. But I had neglected myself and it caused me to burn out. So I put dates with hubby and have worked on rebuilding a friendship with one lady and it has really helped. You cannot neglect relationships and just expect to pick them back up.

 

Some more about this... I both agree and disagree here. I think feeling connected and not alone is important, as homeschooling by nature can become overwhelming at times. As I've 'merged' into our homeschooling life, I've naturally created friendships with people I see often - at homeschool co-op, homeschool PE, Awanas, etc. It's easy to get together with these friends just before or after one of our mutually scheduled activities, like going to the sledding hill after co-op for ex. It's hard when you're connected to people who's paths you don't regularly cross. I can't emphasize enough though the importance of a friend or network of support who can empathize about homeschooling issues. Or maybe a good friend who may not totally understand but cares so much they'll listen anyhow.

 

On the other hand, you can't say yes to everything and expect to get school and other 'inside the home' things done. I've had to cut some things out because I didn't realize I had overextended myself and my kids. I had to reduce some of their extracurriculars and start really thinking twice before saying "yes". Even to some things that I want to say "yes" to.

 

I completely ditto the "chapters of life" idea. I figure right now my focus is my kids. I will have plenty of time for my own stuff later. I plan to go back to college, read TONS, etc. once they're gone. They're only little once.

 

Do take some time for yourself, and for yourself & dh. The kids will remember the fun or interesting times they had with Mommy, not whether the dishes were done. :D

 

Just my 2 cents, YMMV.

Edited March 26, 2009 by Annabel Lee
Added something

[Donna]

When you say you feel you're short-changing your oldest, are you thinking in terms of school? It's pretty difficult to short-change a 5 year old in that department. On the other hand, it's quite easy to try and do more than necessary ~ especially with the oldest.

 

Think of it this way: Is this year really any different than last? Were you struggling last year, trying to keep up with housework, friendships, errands, etc? If not, why not? Is the primary difference the fact that your oldest is now in kindergarten? If so, that in and of itself shouldn't make a great deal of difference, given his age.

 

To that end, I'd encourage you not to overdo it right now in terms of "school" in the strict sense of the word, but to enjoy this season of little people. Because, at the risk of sounding discouraging, I disagree with others who have said it does get easier. Some things get easier, no question, but a lot of other things come into play that add to the mix. I know it gets tiresome when people say this season in your life will pass quickly, but it will. Truly. Enjoy it for what it is.

 

Oh, and as far as housework is concerned, my only real tip is to just stay on top of it daily. Run the vacuum every day or two, keep the bathrooms in decent condition, etc ~ don't let things pile up and overwhelm you.

 

Best to you!:)

 

I agree with Colleen. There is not much actual "school" a 5yo needs to do and you could possibly include your 2yo in a lot of it making it fun for everyone. When my boys were that age we did a lot of snuggling up on a chair to read, art projects, trips to museums/zoos/etc..., "experimented" with mud and water and magnets, etc... I also had a small box of "school time only" stuff for my little ones to play with while the older ones did school...toys they loved, craft things...but it was only brought out in emergencies so would hold their attention for a good 20 min or more.

 

I schooled my oldest while others napped. I cleaned here and there while they played. The power of play in a child's life is way underrated in my opinion. Also, remember, you are homeschooling. There doesn't have to be a timetable on when your child does this or that, or a certain amount that needs to be accomplished in a year. Whatever you miss this year will still be there next or you can even continue all through the summer on a full or limited schedule (what I do).

 

Now my house wasn't and still isn't cleaned the way I want it to be, I am not the most put together person I know, but life is hectic and I have learned to be easier on myself with what I am able to accomplish. It has taken me years to figure out that I can't do it all and be happy, too. Now we prioritize and the kids are older so everyone helps out with the housework which makes life a bit easier since, because they are older, I am running them to activities on a daily basis. I don't think it gets easier as they get older, just different.

 

As young as your little ones are, I would suggest taking a week and just enjoy them without pressuring yourself to get anything done besides the minimum...taking care of them, playing with them, keeping the house under control. Then slowly add back in some school if you feel the need....math is fun and easy to do with manipulatives during play, reading is great when they are all tired and ready for a nap or bed, etc...