Sew happily ever after Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Do you allow the younger sibblings to join in on their playing or do you make the younger ones stay away and give the girls time to be on their own and play? I'm not really sure why we've never had this problem before. Perhaps it's because we've always had friends over who wanted to play with everyone. (or b/c we've had several friends over at once). DD7 is upset b/c DD9 is having a friend from church over on Friday. DD9 has asked politely if she and her friend could play alone with their American Girl dolls. Naturally DD7 thought that was such a crime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 I allow privacy, but not rudeness. If a child has politely and specifically asked for some private time with a friend her own age- I would certainly allow it. The 7 year old can spend some time cooking in the kitchen with you or something- some special mum time. I have done that many times with my two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 I think it is reasonable to allow privacy, especially if the guest was invited to spend time with a particular child. If the guest is someone is over daily because they live 3 doors away, then I might set some private time, but most of the time be inclusive. However, in the situation you've described I would have no problem honoring the child's request. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 I think it is important that siblings are allowed private time with their friends. They just sometimes need the space. This is not age specific, someday the 7yo may wish time alone with friends as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 When my dc have invited a friend over, the other children know to give them their space unless they are invited to play, which they sometimes are. So yes, I allow my children to have their friend to play with alone if that's what they want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 I give them the child time alone with his/her friend. Most of our time is spent in each others' company, but there are special times you just want to be alone with a friend. I have times I want to be alone with my friend with no children around. I don't see it as being any different. The young ones in our family always end up playing with a younger friend(s) we have over together -- I've never had that specific request before with them. But, there have been times our eldest has had friends over, and I had to explain to the little guys that this is a special day for Aaron, and I instruct the boys to leave them alone. Aaron's friend always comes out and talks to the boys, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy in TN Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 :iagree:Agreeing with everyone else. If it is a planned visit, the other two know to stay away. The only exceptions I make is when someone stops by and my offspring in question is already playing in the area or playing with what the other sibling and his friend want. Then, I have made them share. This applies to all of them regardless of the age difference between the two in question. For example, one day recently the 15yo was playing XBox Live with the 6yo when a neighborhood teen dropped in. They were informed that it was the 6yo's home, he was playing when the other young man arrived, and they were not going to kick him off the game. The older two could choose to do something else or they could choose to be inclusive. They chose to be inclusive. Of course, it helps that the 6yo can take teen trash talk and has remarkable hand-eye coordination. Ah, nothing like teenagers being pwned by a 6yo. :tongue_smilie: Mandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in MI Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 I allow for private play time when one sibling has a friend over. I try to find something interesting to do with the other one, like cooking or scrapbooking but that doesn't always happen. Sometimes she just has to play by herself. If it's the neighbor girl who is always over to play anyway, everbody has to play together. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasharowan Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 WE just had that here. dd9 and ds3 had friends over (siblings), but the other 2 boys didn't. Ds7 was happy to give them alone time in exchange for webkins time on the computer :) Ds13 pouted a bit and then went off to read. He was pouting because his friend is the older brother of the two here who wasn't able to come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sew happily ever after Posted March 20, 2009 Author Share Posted March 20, 2009 Thank you all very much for your replies. I didn't think I was being unreasonable in allowing DD9 and her friend to play alone together tomorrow. However DD7 thinks it is just a crime and has been in tears about it most of the day. She will be going home with Nana tomorrow during the play date as well as DS3 (not b/c of the tears, but for other reasons, it just happened to work out at the same time as the play date). DD5 will still be here but will be extremely happy for alone time with Mama. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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