Mamasteff Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Say you agree that sleepovers/ slumber parties are acceptable. (I don't really want to discuss whether sleepovers themselves are okay or not. In my community there is a split between those who think it's okay and those who don't. I know there is disagreement and good reasoning on both sides.) The question is: my 10.5 y.o. is being invited to a slumber birthday party for a girl who is turning 12. I know the mom and daughter reasonably well. They live in an area of a nearby city in which I would absolutely NOT want my daughter overnighting. The birthday party will be held in a hotel, in a different neighborhood (safer!) with 2 adult female chaperones. Would you allow the overnight stay in a hotel under those circumstances? Are there other questions I should be asking? Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlockOfSillies Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 How many girls will be there? What are the planned activities? No boys there for any part of the party? How many hotel rooms? That's just off the top of my head. Will you be chaperoning as well? Do you know the other chaperone? What's their procedure for x, y, or z? Send your phone with your dd if she goes. Let her know she should call you right away if anything seems hinky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catalinakel Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 nope. too many unknowns in a hotel... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Are sleepovers in hotels normal these days? I've never heard of such a thing and I wouldn't let my kid go unless I was one of the chaperones. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeanne in MN Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 and my daughter really wanted to go, I'd probably let her. I would like more details on what's all going on before I decided for sure, but I would consider it. Only you know the situation and everyone is different. Here, anyone that invited my daughter for a sleepover, I know fairly well already. Jeanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 If the hotel is in a safe neighborhood and the girl's home is not, then that may very well be why the mom is doing that. I would talk with the mom a bit about who will be there, if there will be any time when the kids will be allowed to be alone (going to breakfast, the pool, so on). I would most likely let my dd go if I felt the adults in charge were responsible, but then again I went on vacation with friends and their parents several hours from home for a week at a time as a kid, so perhaps I am not the best person to ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Your post struck a chord with me as I live in a bad neighborhood, and have done so for ten years. We chose, purposely, to live here for racial reconciliation. There are others who live here for the same reason. While I have neighbors that should never be trusted, I also have neighbors who are WONDERFUL, and who live here because they have very little other choice. I would not base a decision like this on the location, but rather on whether or not I trust the host. I have gladly sent my dd to slumber parties at a friend's house who lives in an even worse neighborhood than mine. I did so because I know the parents well and trust them. There is no real danger in the safety of their home or even their yard. For one thing, the likelihood of a crime is low, and for another, I trust my friends to supervise appropriately. I have also gladly sent my dd to a hotel slumber party. My friend chose that location because she wanted to do a big blow-out for this particular birthday, and they would have access to a pool. I don't really see what location has to do with it. If you trust your friend to supervise appropriately, then send your dd to the party and let her enjoy. Whatever you do, though, DON'T tell your friend that you will not allow slumber parties at her house because of location. You will hurt her terribly if you do so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 My decision on whether to send my daughter or not would be based on how much I trusted the adults in charge and how well I knew them. I'm not sure about the hotel thing. I've never heard at a sleepover in a hotel. I would just make sure the girls would be supervised at all times and not allowed to go anywhere alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaik76 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 People do hotel sleepovers for all kinds of reasons. In our case, it was because it allowed us to have the party away from my son (the little brother), didn't require me to clean my house or plan breakfast (because the hotel has a buffet) and gave us access to a swimming pool for the girls. My daughter invited just a couple of girls. We rented a suite-type room (so I had a separate bedroom). The girls had the front room, with their own TV, a mini-fridge and microwave for snacks, etc. I was removed enough to give them the illusion of privacy, but I never even closed the door between the rooms. We decorated the room, brought in snacks and movies and board games. The girls swam in the pool for a couple of hours, after which we all went back to the room and hung out. In the morning, we had breakfast at the hotel's buffet, and the girls went home. It was a lot of fun for the girls and very little trouble or work for me. I would definitely do it again. Of course, we didn't invite anyone we didn't know pretty well. But the parents of the girls we invited didn't seem to have any problem with the set-up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanna Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 (edited) ...my daughter just attended a slumber party for a 10yo friend. We traveled 3.5 hrs to the home of the birthday girl -- I tell you this so that you know this little girl is one of my daughter's very best friends (so is her mom to me). I would not do any of the aforementioned if it was not a close friend. The party was small, but some of the girls just came for the evening and their parents picked them up at 10:30pm. Is that an option for the party your daughter has been invited to? I've yet to receive an invite to a hotel/b'day/pool/slumber party (my kids are young yet), but I have seen them happening when hubby and I have taken a hotel night for a convention. Like someone else said, less set up and clean up. HTH!:auto: Edited March 18, 2009 by Vanna forgot to mention party I went to was not at a hotel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 If I trusted the parent to appropriately supervise, then yes. And yes people have slumber parties at hotels. I don't think this is odd at all. I've heard some hotels have slumber party packages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 How will they be supervise the kids and will the be left alone at any point out of the room? Will they be instructed not to go out without an adult...and not to open if for anyone... Carrie:-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamasteff Posted March 19, 2009 Author Share Posted March 19, 2009 Thank you all for your input. I do appreciate the questions to ask, and the idea of leaving my phone with dd. I will definitely be asking some questions. Specifically to Strider - I understand completely. For about 10 years, dh and I (and dd) lived in a neighborhood we loved, but friends and family members let us know how unsafe they thought we were. I know that this family is very trustworthy, very thoughtful, caring and concerned about the safety of their own children and others who are their friends. And, I would NEVER say anything about the neighborhood they live in to them - it is their home and they have chosen it for whatever reason. I am glad to hear other reasons for having a hotel birthday - I had never heard of them either, but I knew some of you must have. Love the idea of not having to set up or clean up, cook breakfast, etc... Thanks all. Not sure yet what I will do, but I am armed with a list of questions! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LilyK Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Mamasteff, I am sensing that you have a lot of apprehensions about sleepovers. It took me a long time to cut the cord with my oldest dd so that she could do overnighters, so I totally understand. Is it an option for you to be one of the chaperones? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamasteff Posted March 19, 2009 Author Share Posted March 19, 2009 I actually don't have apprehension about sleepovers - just that this was in a hotel, I had never been faced with a situation like this before. My dd has been to some sleepovers and invited friends to her own - but many, MANY of those girls were not allowed to "stay overnight" - they brought pajamas, we did all the fun stuff, and the parents came to pick them up at midnight. Their family rules were - no group (all girl, of course) sleepovers. Ever. However, I just found out WHEN the sleepover is - the night before Easter. Since we are an Easter celebrating kind of family, she will only be able to go for the earlier portion of the evening. So, it's a non-issue. But I know what questions to ask next time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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