How upset would you be?

[Murphy101]

I'm just not okay with those words. I'd said this in my quoted post and then edited it out because it felt a bit..weird & personal... but what the heck. I grew up being called things like "idiot", "stupid", "moron" and other fun little pet words - it was cruel and left me feeling about *this* big.

 

ahhhh.

yeah know that side too.:grouphug:

 

to me, if this was a constant occurance or if my child was regularly being singled out - THAT would really upset me too.

 

but the hopefully occassional simply telling it like it is without the white-washing ? I can live with that and even think it appropriate.

[TXMomof4]

Well, I can think of lots of words that might "fit" a situation - but aren't really good ones to use. ;)

 

I'm just not okay with those words. I'd said this in my quoted post and then edited it out because it felt a bit..weird & personal... but what the heck. I grew up being called things like "idiot", "stupid", "moron" and other fun little pet words - it was cruel and left me feeling about *this* big.

 

Y'know that whole "stick and stones" thing, about how words can't hurt ya? Yeah right. I'd much rather get hit upside the head with the stick.

 

If this happened on a daily basis or was the teachers only way of expressing disappointment, I would agree 100%. But in that situation - a one time occurrence, I would have to support the teacher.

 

When I was in 7th grade I was in a magnet school taking honors classes. Our social studies teacher get really irritated with us (justifiably) and told us if we were going to act like remedial students she'd treat us like remedial students. We did worksheets for a week. I wish she'd just called us idiots (which we were being) and let it go at that. :glare:

[Peek a Boo]

Well, I can think of lots of words that might "fit" a situation - but aren't really good ones to use. ;)

 

I'm just not okay with those words. I'd said this in my quoted post and then edited it out because it felt a bit..weird & personal... but what the heck. I grew up being called things like "idiot", "stupid", "moron" and other fun little pet words - it was cruel and left me feeling about *this* big.

 

Y'know that whole "stick and stones" thing, about how words can't hurt ya? Yeah right. I'd much rather get hit upside the head with the stick.

 

I understand that many people use words abusively [which is a BIG reason i don't have my kids in school], but that doesn't necessarily mean the use of the word in general is abusive.

 

I smarted off to my grandmother once and she slapped me across the face. I deserved it. I don't even remember WHAT I said but I know what my intent was. Would I feel the same if she was routinely slapping me around? nope. But strong words/ actions doled out sparingly can make quite an impression.

 

I do know that we tend to have our own prejudices against words based on how we experienced them being used --I can't stand the word 'asinine' [i visibly cringe -you know how hard it is for me to type that? lol] cuz my stepmom used it All. The. Time. In drunken fits. I think it was the biggest word she knew composed of an entire three syllables. And always directed at our intellect and character. But other people can use it just fine and i have to be careful to not let my experiences cloud my opinion of that person.

 

I think most other posters touched on this, but i think it bears repeating -- if the teacher did this routinely i wouldn't support it. But with the information given about a one-time situation? I'm in the "go for it" camp.

[Parrothead]

Now here is the rest of the story. I typed this out to a fellow homeschooler in an email:

 

Apparently this started Monday with a 6th grader throwing an absolute fit at the end of the "name of program" basketball game then escalated to most of the 6th grade class being a bunch of malcontents for a sub.

 

Yesterday before the first basketball game Coach L. gave a little speech to the first two teams. In the speech he ranted about what a bunch of idiots the 6th graders had been. I got that second hand since I wasn't there for the first game.

 

I was at the second game. He again sat the two teams on the bleachers and let them have it about the 6th graders, then he went on about the Monday incident and basically told the kids that if a teammate messes up the rest of the team should take it up with the messer-upper in the locker room. And what happens in the locker room stays in the locker room the same way that "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." So he has basically given permission for the team to beat up the person who played badly.

 

Then later I was talking to a friend who has kids in the school about it. She told me that there are a lot of things going on at the school that most people wouldn't believe. She said that the middle school math teacher frequently swears (GD among other things) and throws pencils "at" the kids. She said one of her kids came home and told her that the principal was giving a lecture to his class (7th grade, I think) about them not handing in homework. She went on to insinuate that they were a bunch of sex addicts and "babies are nice but they bring a lot of s**t too."

 

So I'm not too upset about the idiots remark. After all is said and done that is the least offensive event. I have a friend who has a child on one of the basketball teams. This kid's team was one of the two that received the idiot comment. My friend when to the principal the next day. She said the principal mostly blew it off, but she would "talk to the coach."

 

The principal did say she was glad that my friend brought the incident to her attention this way. I told my friend that is because we are such good friend's with B. B is our husbands' supervisor's wife. We often get together with B for various things. B is also on the school board. Hmmmm....

 

So needless to say, dd will not go into the locker room either before or after her games. The program ends this week anyway. Dh wants her to finish it out.

 

I'm still trying to decide if I am going to email my friend B or if I'm going to casually bring it up at the next game of dominoes.

Edited March 14, 2009 by Parrothead

[swellmomma]

I am not surprised by the coach's comment about the players dealing with the trouble maker in the locker room after the game. HE wasn't talking about a player playing poorly but actions like the fit you said the one had. The Cadet corp my ds is in is the same way, if someone is acting up, the entire division gets punished and it is expected/assumed that the one who caused the problem will be dealt with by the rest of the division in the heads at the end of the night. My son has been on the receiving end of that, and it was not a matter of the kids beating him up, but they certainly let him know completely what they thought about his little antics that got them all in trouble and he shaped up to make sure he has done his part to support his division and corps rather than acting like an idiot and making them all look bad. At first I was upset at the thought of it, after all what did they expect when he has adhd etc, how is he supposed to stand at attention that long etc, guess what, All it took was his fellow cadets straightening him out that one time, and he now has no problem following orders, standing at attention for up to an hour etc.

 

Now I know that basketball is not cadets, but my point is when 1 kid acts like a fool having a fit etc it reflects poorly on the whole team and in some cases can get the whole team disqualified from games, so yes I do think the fellow team mates should have an opportunity to deal with the culprit. I did not hear the coach condone beating that player up, often it does not take that, at this age approval from peers is everything, if the player behaving that way knows that the rest of the team is Po'd at them they will often shape up without anyone resorting to violence.

[Parrothead]

I am not surprised by the coach's comment about the players dealing with the trouble maker in the locker room after the game. HE wasn't talking about a player playing poorly but actions like the fit you said the one had. The Cadet corp my ds is in is the same way, if someone is acting up, the entire division gets punished and it is expected/assumed that the one who caused the problem will be dealt with by the rest of the division in the heads at the end of the night. My son has been on the receiving end of that, and it was not a matter of the kids beating him up, but they certainly let him know completely what they thought about his little antics that got them all in trouble and he shaped up to make sure he has done his part to support his division and corps rather than acting like an idiot and making them all look bad. At first I was upset at the thought of it, after all what did they expect when he has adhd etc, how is he supposed to stand at attention that long etc, guess what, All it took was his fellow cadets straightening him out that one time, and he now has no problem following orders, standing at attention for up to an hour etc.

 

Now I know that basketball is not cadets, but my point is when 1 kid acts like a fool having a fit etc it reflects poorly on the whole team and in some cases can get the whole team disqualified from games, so yes I do think the fellow team mates should have an opportunity to deal with the culprit. I did not hear the coach condone beating that player up, often it does not take that, at this age approval from peers is everything, if the player behaving that way knows that the rest of the team is Po'd at them they will often shape up without anyone resorting to violence.

I can understand your example, but these kids are 3-6th graders on mixed teams. I can't condone a 6th grader terrorizing a 3rd grader in the locker room.

[Debbie in OR]

I'd want to know if the teacher said "You acted like a bunch of idiots" or "You are a bunch of idiots." There's a big difference there.

 

The former wouldn't get reaction out of me other than to ask ds, "Well- did you?"

 

I'd speak with the teacher to find out, and discuss what my ds had relayed to me. But unless it's a pattern of behavior, and the teacher is ranting and raving about their idiot students every day, I wouldn't worry about it.

 

 

 

:iagree: What she said.

[JennifersLost]

Didn't read everyone's comments, but this is why I don't teach; it would take me maybe a week before I called a class a bunch of idiots.

 

I remember how my classmates acted when there was a sub in school. It was awful. I could easily see how a teacher could lose their cool.

 

I'd ask my kids about their own behavior - I'd tell them again what I expected of them - and then we'd probably all get a good laugh about it, because my kids feel the same way I do about "idiotic" behavior at schools.

[Elaine]

Well, it depends. Were they idiots?

 

:D

 

Kids can be idiots. Moms can be idiots. Even I can be an idiot.;) I probably would have chosen a different word, but I see nothing wrong with kids being called on their bad behavior. We need more of that today.