pqr Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 No more than any other mother here. Or any father :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Or any father :-) Touche my friend! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reya Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 (edited) DD5 is having a very smart mouth lately. She is corrected every single time, and told it is not OK to speak that way. And I give her a more appropriate way to say what she is trying to say (if it applies). This is not working. We have tried timeouts and taking things away, too. She seems to thrive on negative attention she gets from it. We have also tried ignoring it....didn't work either. This is all new to us because DS has never had any behavior problems. What types of punishments or techniques have worked for you? Sudden deafness sometimes works. :-) You only hear things said politely--and only see children who are speaking politely, too. (You have to explain this new policy firs,t or it'll just confuse the kid.) EDIT: If she's not just requesting things nastily but shooting off one-liners, there has to be additional consequences. As above. Edited March 12, 2009 by Reya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahli Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 It does sound like your (op) dd is trying to elicit extra attention. How about a rewards chart? Discuss it with her as you make it, about what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior. For example, talking back is -10 points, and apologizing sincerely and rephrasing is 5pts, doing something when asked the first time is 5pts, the second time is 0 pts and the third is -5. Doing an extra chore without being asked is extra points. When she gets to a hundred points she could earn an hour with you on an outing at an ice cream shop or something else she would enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pqr Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 It is illegal to beat children in the UK using an instrument, and to be perfectly honest I feel very sick reading this thread. That explains a lot.....yobs, hoodies, crime waves......messed up kids who grew up without discipline. Of course when my father and my grandfather went to school over there teachers were able to use an instrument (my father referenced a thick belt) and England was a very different place from today. I believe the term is "unintended consequences" where the honestly good (though illogical) desires of a meddlesome few have ruined generations of children. No matter how much one tries to obfuscate the issue with eloquent explanations or haughty references the fact remains that since we decided that generations of parents were wrong and that we knew better we have seen a horrendous decline in the manners and behavior of children. Einstein made a comment about a behavior that keeps doing the same thing but expects different results. Today we have those who keep refusing to use corporal punishment and yet seem to expect different results from those disastrous ones we have seen in the past decades. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Joanne, I am sorry but, with respect, you are incorrect. Spanking did prevent problems. It taught children rules and delineated boundaries. I went to a school that used the paddle. I can attest that it really hurt, and I still remember that whistle the thing made as the air rushed through the holes. Showing disrespect to a teacher would never have occurred if only because it was so far beyond the threshold for what we were spanked that I cannot conceive of a classmate ever getting that far. I then went to a school which had; the touchy feely talks, detention, explanations about why we were behaving in an immature manner, mealy mouthed ruminating about how this was damaging to our self esteem and every other excuse and cop out going. Children were rude, disobedient and teachers were routinely ignored and harassed. Both schools were predominantly white and middle class. The difference: The first had the courage to spank, The second lacked that courage and hid behind excuses about "damaging" the child. The result: the first produced generally law abiding citizens, the second saw a fair number in jail and generally did a disservice to society. Spanking works, in the years since we have shirked from it we have seen a rise in problems at school and a general decline in decorum. I too recall "days gone by" and they were different. pqr Please read my posts. They have not been the most venomous about the spanking rabbit trail. I am not arguing for/against spanking. I was mentioning the times not spanking was equated with permissiveness (as in your post) and also the poor logic represented in the "we used to spank" posts. The post you responded to was simply pointing out the fallacy in the arguement that "kids didn't behave that way" when spanking was more commonly used. Clearly, if children were spanked (as they were in your own example) *children still behaved like children*, requiring the percieved need to spank. I even posted that I believe spanking can work to eliminate behavior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 No more than any other mother here.I disagree. She is definitely more of an expert than me. I am a mother here.:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts