S/O Living Overseas thread

[Sebastian (a lady)]

A great book on the topic of living overseas and raising kids who have lived overseas is Third Culture Kids. I'd heard of this a few years ago but hadn't read it until recently. I was amazed at how much it described out family.

 

Basically the idea is that third culture kids are those who have one home culture and another culture that they live/have lived in. It might be a missionary family, military family that lives overseas (or maybe has just moved around the US a lot), or other reasons like living abroad for business reasons or immigration. One doesn't fit in totally with the culture one resides in, but you also have different viewpoints from those in your home/family culture because you didn't grow up there.

 

It is things like not knowing the rules to baseball or not knowing when Presidents' Day is or having no ideas what different states are famous for while being able to identify landmarks overseas.

 

The book looks at things like friendships and openness to new ideas from both a positive and a negative angle.

 

Actually, I was surprised to see how much of the book applied to me. I moved in high school and have moved around a lot ever since. So there is often a lot of presumed knowledge related to wherever we're living that I don't necessarily have.

 

Great book to read if you or your kids fit this profile.

Edited March 5, 2009 by Sebastian (a lady)

[Kate in Arabia]

I've been meaning to pick up this book but keep forgetting. I've noticed that with my kids, even though we try to keep them culturally literate; even as an adult, each year we visit home I find myself more in a kind of disconnect. It's kind of a strange feeling. My dh grew up as an expat, and he is definitely a blend of his "native country" and his host country, but I wouldn't say fully connected to either one, kwim?

[Amira]

I agree this is a great book. A friend of mine who grew up in Syria was the first to tell me about it. One thing I particularly like about this book is that it isn't geared toward one type of family. It applies to the business kids and the missionary kids and the military kids and the diplomat kids and the kids like mine that aren't any of those things. So many of the books that I read before we went overseas were more specific.

[Parrothead]

Actually, I was surprised to see how much of the book applied to me. I moved in high school and have moved around a lot ever since. So there is often a lot of presumed knowledge related to wherever we're living that I don't necessarily have.

 

That so sounds like my life. 12 different states and one foreign country.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I guess the idea of the book came from observing various people with this background who instantly bonded as friends, despite not having actual experiences in common. Thus the term Third Culture. They also use the term global nomad, which is one that I particularly like.

 

I don't think that you can help having slippage from the home culture and a sense of disconnect with the host culture. I read this before we spent a few months in the US between duty stations. It was part of why I decided to embrace the time with family and wallowing in holiday traditions and simple American activities rather than stressing over getting math and history done.

 

When we first visited home after a couple years in Germany, I was stunned by how foreign it looked to me. I was stunned by the billboards and the yellow ribbon magnets on cars. Visiting after two years in Hawaii, I kept wondering where all the Asian faces were. I can't begin to imagine what my kids think as we're moving around.

 

For my kids, a trip to an American grocery store can be a cross cultural experience (even with our access to commissaries).

[KidsHappen]

I guess the idea of the book came from observing various people with this background who instantly bonded as friends, despite not having actual experiences in common. Thus the term Third Culture. They also use the term global nomad, which is one that I particularly like.

 

I don't think that you can help having slippage from the home culture and a sense of disconnect with the host culture. I read this before we spent a few months in the US between duty stations. It was part of why I decided to embrace the time with family and wallowing in holiday traditions and simple American activities rather than stressing over getting math and history done.

 

When we first visited home after a couple years in Germany, I was stunned by how foreign it looked to me. I was stunned by the billboards and the yellow ribbon magnets on cars. Visiting after two years in Hawaii, I kept wondering where all the Asian faces were. I can't begin to imagine what my kids think as we're moving around.

 

For my kids, a trip to an American grocery store can be a cross cultural experience (even with our access to commissaries).

 

I can really relate to this. I lived overseas for six years straight and when I came home I really suffered from culture shock. I was totally out of touch with just about everything not only that was currently going on in the US but just about everything that had happened in the previous six years as well.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I can really relate to this. I lived overseas for six years straight and when I came home I really suffered from culture shock. I was totally out of touch with just about everything not only that was currently going on in the US but just about everything that had happened in the previous six years as well.

 

I think what is most jarring is the realization that you not only don't know but don't really care all that much to find out. I find it amusing that there are tv shows that come and go after years that I've never seen. Or pop idols that rise and get to rehab without my even noticing.

 

But it can be tough to listen to your kids' coach rave on about his favorite football team's weekend performance during stretching time and then witness your kid raise his hand to ask "what are the Raiders?" (What, not even who!)

[Laura Corin]

I agree - it's a valuable book.

 

Laura

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

For those on facebook there is a very funny group called "you know you went to an International school when." It looks like it was started by someone currently in college. The main page is a list of you know...type statements such as "2) You speak two (or more) languages but can't spell in any of them."

 

I found the list to be far more reflective of life as an expat or third culture kid rather than specifically having attended an International school. I couldn't help but ponder if those creating the list realized that they were reflecting the third culture phenomenon far more than life at an one of the schools.

 

For those who have lived this life or plan to its quite funny but not entirely without truth.

[KidsHappen]

I think what is most jarring is the realization that you not only don't know but don't really care all that much to find out. I find it amusing that there are tv shows that come and go after years that I've never seen. Or pop idols that rise and get to rehab without my even noticing.

 

But it can be tough to listen to your kids' coach rave on about his favorite football team's weekend performance during stretching time and then witness your kid raise his hand to ask "what are the Raiders?" (What, not even who!)

 

 

Yes, I had the same experience.