Sarah CB Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I'd like to get my sister a book that talks about the joys and advantages of nursing, baby wearing, even co-sleeping - but I don't want something extreme or something that will freak her out. Is there something moderate that talks about some of the benefits of attachment parenting without being all or nothing? Thanks, Sarah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clwcain Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Dr. Sears covers all this quite well, and from the sanity of long experience. He's not proselytizing for AP, but he does think that it is the best choice in most cases. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Dr. Sears covers all this quite well, and from the sanity of long experience. He's not proselytizing for AP, but he does think that it is the best choice in most cases. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I agree with the Dr. Sears rec too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 (edited) Sometimes people need to have an epiphany in order to espouse a certain way of being. The Continuum Concept might help in that regard as it approaches the matter from an anthropological perspective. I think, after reading that book, one would pretty much know on what side of the fence they fell. Edited March 4, 2009 by homeschoolmom typo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey in TX Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 (edited) DO NOT push AP on a parent who is opposed. It's as rude as pushing bloody, red meat on a vegetarian. Seriously. Friends tried to convince me to wear a wrap contraption for baby #1, nurse on demand, co-sleep, etc. It goes against *every* fiber of my being. I'm very maternal, but even the suggestion of the aforementioned makes me claustrophobic. AP is not healthy for parent or child if mom isn't totally on board. Dr. Ezzo, play pens, and strollers really are the best route for some families. Applaud your sister for being the best mom SHE can be, but please don't force her to become you, and your perception of the best mom she can be. ETA: I didn't care for Dr. Sears (sorry y'all!), but appreciated Dr. Terry Brazelton's Touchpoints for certain milestone or simple medical issues that weren't obvious due to sleep deprivation. :) Edited March 4, 2009 by Tracey in TX Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Dr. Sears covers all this quite well, and from the sanity of long experience. He's not proselytizing for AP, but he does think that it is the best choice in most cases. :iagree: It's a very common-sensical (non-ideological) work that simply validates a parent's inner-intelligence in raising a child according to their natural inclinations (something that is so often crushed in "this-is-how-you-need-to-schedule-their-breastfeedings-or you-will-ruin-them-for-life" type child-rearing books that perpetuate neurosis). Why we need books to tell us it's OK to snuggle with our infants and give them affection is beyond me. But I do know it's necessary, as there are some pretty weird ideas floating around out there. Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apmom Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I agree, Dr. Sears' Baby Book has been an invaluable resource for all of my children...it does cover all the AP bases, but is also just great as a basic baby/medical/normal-new-mom-question type of book. Even if she didn't really like the AP stuff, the development and medical sections are wonderful and reassuring, rather than scare-tactics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah CB Posted March 4, 2009 Author Share Posted March 4, 2009 DO NOT push AP on a parent who is opposed. It's as rude as pushing bloody, red meat on a vegetarian. Seriously.Friends tried to convince me to wear a wrap contraption for baby #1, nurse on demand, co-sleep, etc. It goes against *every* fiber of my being. I'm very maternal, but even the suggestion of the aforementioned makes me claustrophobic. AP is not healthy for parent or child if mom isn't totally on board. Dr. Ezzo, play pens, and strollers really are the best route for some families. Applaud your sister for being the best mom SHE can be, but please don't force her to become you, and your perception of the best mom she can be. ETA: I didn't care for Dr. Sears (sorry y'all!), but appreciated Dr. Terry Brazelton's Touchpoints for certain milestone or simple medical issues that weren't obvious due to sleep deprivation. :) Not trying to push (not too hard, anyway), I'm just looking for something that will explain attachment parenting without sounding hardcore. She has never contemplated children or childrearing before and she honestly has no clue about anything yet. She's in an information-gathering stage right now and I'd like to gift her with a book that will inform without being all or nothing and I imagine that she'll take what makes sense for her and leave the rest behind :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah CB Posted March 4, 2009 Author Share Posted March 4, 2009 Well, it looks like Dr. Sears wins! I'm off to Amazon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey in TX Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Not trying to push (not too hard, anyway), I'm just looking for something that will explain attachment parenting without sounding hardcore. She has never contemplated children or childrearing before and she honestly has no clue about anything yet. She's in an information-gathering stage right now and I'd like to gift her with a book that will inform without being all or nothing and I imagine that she'll take what makes sense for her and leave the rest behind :) You must be a pretty awesome sister! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I'd like to get my sister a book that talks about the joys and advantages of nursing, baby wearing, even co-sleeping - but I don't want something extreme or something that will freak her out. Is there something moderate that talks about some of the benefits of attachment parenting without being all or nothing? Thanks, Sarah I also would be hesitant to push (for lack of a better work) a philosophy of parenting on someone unless you felt they were like-minded on the subject. For example, I would never give someone a book about scheduling their babies (although I found much joy and advantages in that method for our family) unless I knew that they were interested in learning more about what we did, or unless they asked about it. But, if she has expressed an interest, or if you can tell that you will be like-minded then I would give the book. Congrats to your sister. :-) ETA: I hadn't read your final post before posting. If she is researching, then by all means give her the book. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 DO NOT push AP on a parent who is opposed. It's as rude as pushing bloody, red meat on a vegetarian. Seriously.Friends tried to convince me to wear a wrap contraption for baby #1, nurse on demand, co-sleep, etc. It goes against *every* fiber of my being. I'm very maternal, but even the suggestion of the aforementioned makes me claustrophobic. AP is not healthy for parent or child if mom isn't totally on board. Dr. Ezzo, play pens, and strollers really are the best route for some families. Applaud your sister for being the best mom SHE can be, but please don't force her to become you, and your perception of the best mom she can be. ETA: I didn't care for Dr. Sears (sorry y'all!), but appreciated Dr. Terry Brazelton's Touchpoints for certain milestone or simple medical issues that weren't obvious due to sleep deprivation. :) Totally agree! One should always go the route that feels right for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I completely agree that it's rude to give *unsolicted* child rearing advice. I feel so strongly about this that I even discourage avid (usually new) AP moms from offering sites, books, etc. to moms practicing a different approach. However, I do not believe in "whatever works" for each family - I just believe in their right to choose. Not all parenting approaches are of equal merit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah CB Posted March 4, 2009 Author Share Posted March 4, 2009 I also would be hesitant to push (for lack of a better work) a philosophy of parenting on someone unless you felt they were like-minded on the subject. For example, I would never give someone a book about scheduling their babies (although I found much joy and advantages in that method for our family) unless I knew that they were interested in learning more about what we did, or unless they asked about it. But, if she has expressed an interest, or if you can tell that you will be like-minded then I would give the book. Congrats to your sister. :-) ETA: I hadn't read your final post before posting. If she is researching, then by all means give her the book. :-) I usually take the approach of reading as widely and deeply about a new subject as possible and I find that while there's usually an approach that I find myself drawn to, there are usually aspects of even really radical approaches that I become intrigued with and incorporate into my own approach. For example, with homeschooling I continue to read books that talk about the classical approach, but I also read unschooling books - even though I could never homeschool that way. Unschooling is about as far away from my comfort zone as I can get, but I've still been inspired by a ton of what I've read about it and some of the ideas have really blessed our homeschool. I will be encouraging my sister to read as widely as possible (she's already picked up a few books on pregnancy and is interested in finding out more) but I wanted to make sure she has the opportunity to read a good book on more attachment style parenting that is open enough to not turn her off just by the tone or extreme nature of it. After that it's up to her :) I'm trying to turn off the I'm-the-big-sister-and-I'm-always-right-and-you're-not-doing-it-right-here-let-me-do-it thing. It's hard, but I'm supressing it and I realize there is not one right way to have a baby or raise a baby and that she's not me and that's Ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah CB Posted March 4, 2009 Author Share Posted March 4, 2009 You must be a pretty awesome sister! I am trying really hard. I just have to keep repeating to myself, "I'm not always right. I'm not always right. I'm not always right." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest janainaz Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I think parenting must be heart-led. Before I had my kids, I was appalled at the idea of kids being in my bed, staying HOME with kids and the idea of homeschooling...........I did not even know what that was. When my first son was born, I did everything I said I would not do. Until your sister has children, until she holds them in her arms and experiences the love of a parent, I don't think parenting philosophies will be of much benefit. She does not have the heart attachment at this time and all you would be giving her is head knowledge. That's just my perspective/thoughts..... :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I'd like to get my sister a book that talks about the joys and advantages of nursing, baby wearing, even co-sleeping - but I don't want something extreme or something that will freak her out. Is there something moderate that talks about some of the benefits of attachment parenting without being all or nothing? Thanks, Sarah I wouldn't call Dr. Sear's book "Attachment parenting." I'd say..."Here's something pretty mainstream & it's nice...he even lists how much Tylenol to give your baby when they're screaming in the middle of the night:-)" Now, whether he is mainstream or not....that's a toss. I believe it should be mainstream...:-) Here's the other thing...sorry...but I don't think it's "DR" at all... but if he is DR Ezzo... he's not a DOCTOR...like for babies. I think he's damaged families and made failure to thrive...raise in numbers. He may be able to see the alert babies when he checks out the Church nurseries.... that's because they're looking for some food and open arms. AND, if you ask in Hospitals, they can tell you what Ezzo babies look like, too. It's not pretty if you ask... On and on...listen to your baby and fuss with them until they're happy:-) And yes... don't stick them in plastic containers all the time. Oh yes, I like Ergo's too...... http://myfavoritebabycarriers.com/ They offer a 90 day money back guarantee:-) Carrie:-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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