********* Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 So, my in-laws don't like that I homeschool, and think that we (me, my dh, ds3, and ds5) are weird. They worry about the kids not getting socilization. Of course. That's a whole different subject, but it's got me thinking; what and how much should we (me and the boys) be doing? I mean, for crying out loud, they're three and five! I have no IRL friends that homeschool. It just isn't something that either my family or dh's family has experience with. So I've come here for some advice and encouragement. I'm very introverted. If we never left the house, I'd be ok. But I realize that's not 'healthy', and that both me and my children need interaction with others. So I'm trying to figure out what a 'normal' amout of things to do is. For example, right now I take both the boys to story time at our local library once a week. I have them in separate classes because I think it's good for them to have time apart. First ds5 has his class, then ds3 has his class, then we stay and play/pick out books and other things to check out. We ususally spend between 2 and 2 1/2 hours at the library once a week, and most of that time the boys are playing/interacting with other children. But that's pretty much it. We don't attend a 'church', we have a small home fellowhship with just one other child (a 7yo girl), so that's not really an option as far as oportunities to make friends. I mean, of course they play together with the little girl, but it's not like a big group or anything. :) Also, my ds5 is accelerated accademically, but I still want to keep him involved in 'fun' stuff for his age. He does second grade academics, but still likes to play with play doh, paint, dig in the dirt. So I'm trying to balance challenging him academically with keeping him physically with kids his age. And on top of it all, I've got in-laws who think I'm 'pushing' him, and think I only care about making him smart. Ugh. So, what to do? Any suggestions? How much is the right amount of 'stuff' for little boys to do? Should I find a co-op, or a sport, or both? Both just seems like a lot for a five year old. And the three year old? Good grief, I don't know! Help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 It sounds like you are on the right track with your children. Meeting them where they are academically and letting them be kids. Do you have any homeschool suppport groups near you? You may find some like-minded introvert moms who would love some low-key hanging out and doing field trips together. Almost everything I have read about friendships is that the best ones happen with one-on-one time. Finding others and getting together can be great. When my kids were little and we were just starting out, I helped start an educational "playgroup." Just a few kids got together to do arts and crafts based upon the seasons or Bible stories or whatever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 My kids are the same ages as yours. I think how much interaction they need depends a great deal upon the child. I'm an extrovert, and so are both of my kids. We devote two full days a week to outside activities, including dance classes, library storytimes, science class, homeschool playgroup, field trips, and a couple of playdates (usually 2 per week for the 5 year old, one per week for the 3 year old). And both kids beg for more interaction, it just would make the schedule impossible for me with homeschooling and working part time from home. Now if the kids were more like my dh, who is an introvert, they would probably be overwhelmed by what we alrady do.... I know several other kids their ages who would love the amount of outside activity that you and your boys do. If they are not complaining, there is probably not too much need to add more right now. I do find that in good weather, my kids get quite a bit out of just going to the playground and striking up conversations, starting games, etc., with other kids. It's very natural, unforced socialization that will serve them well later on, imho. As for the "pushing," I hear that at times as well. I try to meet the kids where they are and let them set the pace the majority of the time. You will always have individuals who criticize because they misunderstand your motives for giving your children advanced work, but you'll find supportive folks on the accelerated learners board here. HTH. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Only me Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 (edited) Kids are so different-even siblings. They can also change when they get older and so their needs change. When my middle dd (now 13) was 2 or 3 she was outgoing and loved going to a Mom's day out program and then preschool. She seemed to want to be around a lot of people. As she got older she became shy and didn't care about doing things outside of the home as much. As a preschooler she usually had some kind of activity (dance, gymnastics) in addition to preschool that was fine for her. As she grew older we had in in various activities but they were usually only once a twice a week. (basketball, dance) She enjoyed those activities but probably would have been fine without them too. Right now she is on a bowling team but she doesn't really socialize with the kids on her team. The other girl only cares about flirting with the boys. My dd just wants to bowl to do her best and better her score. She also just started a karate class with her younger brother and they enjoy doing that together. She is definitely introverted. My son (now 10) on the other hand refused to go to Mom's Day Out or preschool. He wanted nothing to do with it. Up until about the age of 5 he would much rather stay home and play with his sisters. We really didn't have him in any activities until he turned 5 and even then my husband was involved with the activity. Now that he is 10 he is the most outgoing of my children and enjoys various activities where he can socialize. He loves homeschooling but also tends to need some outside socialization. He is in baseball during the spring/early summer and baseball or football during the fall. He usually has these activities 3 times a week. He is also on a bowling team year round and also just started karate with his sister. The bottom line is that kids needs are so different. Your kids are so young. I really think that if they seem happy going to the library once a week they will be fine. As they get older their needs may change and they may want to be involved with more activities. You can follow their lead. I know my husband's family was always so worried about socialization. They thought my kids would turn out to be misfits. Quite honestly I think my kids are just as well adjusted as any of the cousins on that side. All three of my kids need/want different levels of socialization but it wasn't forced on them. Edited February 5, 2009 by hpymomof3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen in NS Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 So, my in-laws don't like that I homeschool, and think that we (me, my dh, ds3, and ds5) are weird. They worry about the kids not getting socilization. Of course. That's a whole different subject, but it's got me thinking; what and how much should we (me and the boys) be doing? I mean, for crying out loud, they're three and five! I have no IRL friends that homeschool. It just isn't something that either my family or dh's family has experience with. So I've come here for some advice and encouragement. And on top of it all, I've got in-laws who think I'm 'pushing' him, and think I only care about making him smart. Ugh. Have confidence in yours and dh's abilities to make good decisions for your kids! It sounds to me like you're feeling pressure from one source, and it's making you lose confidence. Everything you said your kids and you are doing sounds fine to me, too. Get it set in your mind that you and dh *do* know what you're doing, and that you *will* figure out the things you aren't sure of, and try not to buckle under pressure. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 If you are a believer - AWANAS! You dont' have to attend the church or even stay on Wednesday nights. I have dropped my daughter off at a local church for Awanas for 3 years now. We attend a church in a near by town that does not offer an Awana program. This church is just down the road from me, so I just drop her off and she has a blast! It is great socialization with great people, children and adults. It is "class" time during thier Bible time. It is "PE" during game time. What a great recourse Awana has been for our family. Plus, if you are motivated, you can stay, watch and meet some new people yourself, though it's not neccessary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeanestMomInMidwest Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 In my opinion, the only thing you need to do differently is stop giving any weight to what other people (i.e. your in-laws) think or say about how you & your spouse choose to raise your children. ETA: Once there was a thread on here with some pretty good comebacks to people's remarks about the failings of homeschooling, socialization in particular. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted February 5, 2009 Author Share Posted February 5, 2009 In my opinion, the only thing you need to do differently is stop giving any weight to what other people (i.e. your in-laws) think or say about how you & your spouse choose to raise your children. ETA: Once there was a thread on here with some pretty good comebacks to people's remarks about the failings of homeschooling, socialization in particular. You're right. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeanestMomInMidwest Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 You're right. :) hang in there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Has it occurred to you that your inlaws might be the weird ones? Mwahahahha! Trust your observation skills. You'll notice when your kids require more social time. :D Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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