Moms of co-sleeping, nursing toddlers, share your schedule?

[Lovedtodeath]

 

 

Please? I don't have one and we are really floundering.

 

[Mandamom]

I did that a couple of times and it wasn't easy.

 

One of the things I did was consider that I wasn't locked in to doing school M-F 9-3 and that if I needed to do some math in the evening or on a Saturday it still counted. For a while we did a lot of schooling in the evening and on week-ends wihen dh was home a little more.

 

Baby would frequently sit in my lap while I was working with older kids. That's just the way it was.

 

I started scheduling those things that needed me involved whenever baby was sleeping so I could get that done that.

 

NOw, regarding not getting very much sleep and just muddling through the days I did a lot of that. One of my daughters had pretty severe insomnia that lasted for months and we'd be up for hours in the middle of the night with her not sleeping. It was utterly exhausting.

 

I'm sure you'll get great ideas.

[Ria]

All I can tell you is that at a certain point I moved the toddler to another room and gave him water instead of me. LOL. Really, though, it got to the point with my littlest guy that I knew he couldn't sleep in the bed anymore. We did two things....one, we put a crib mattress on the floor for him, and two (I'm almost ashamed to admit this) we put him in bed with another child. He snuggled, life was good, and we slept. Until he started wetting through his diaper. Ugh. Then the older child and the toddler were fussing at night. I can laugh now, but it wasn't funny then.)

 

Ria

Edited February 1, 2009 by Ria

[Goldilocks]

How are you floundering? Are you not keeping up with housework? Schoolwork?

 

My particular struggle is that I can't get up before my children because within five minutes of me getting out of bed my little ones are up. So, I have been working on being super organized.

 

1. I have written down (and posted on the fridge) exactly what I need to do before we start school each day. Simple things like fold the laundry, get dressed, make the bed. If this is not written down I may spend a minute or two thinking about what I need to do next, and sadly, I don't have time to waste in the morning.

 

2. We have clean-up time every two hours or so.

 

3. I have "school" for the little ones. The older ones help me be the teacher.

 

4. Divide the housework into little bits each day. Everyone helps. (Or thinks that they are helping).

 

Generally the day goes like this:

 

7:00 get up and do morning jobs

 

8:30 start school (break every so often for snack, clean up time, and "preschool"

 

1:00 lunch and clean up

 

2:00 baby's nap then read aloud to other children

 

3-5:00 whatever

 

5:00 cleaning time again (this is when we do weekly chores like dusting)

 

Kids watch a movie while I make dinner and we eat when it is done.

 

7:00 start bed time for little ones

 

 

 

I hope this helps. I'm not sure what you are asking for. After everyone is asleep at night they are generally ok for awhile and I can get up and get some things done before I go to bed.

[Lovedtodeath]

How are you floundering? Are you not keeping up with housework? Schoolwork?

 

YES to both. :( Thanks for sharing.

[SonshineLearner]

I say, give yourself a break. I was like an iv for my nursing baby for the first 1 1/2 yr. Then he still nursed through the nights. He just needed me; I really believe that while he could have survived without nursing all the time, it really helped him. As his little life has proven, needing his mama and daddy are just part of him. He's touchy feely. Even now he likes to touch while sleeping. We have half custody of our oldest two, and while she's here..he sleeps with her, while she's at her mom's...he sleeps with us. He'll grow up someday....and this time will be an even more precious memory than now!

[swellmomma]

I am co-sleeping and nursing a toddler, I don't have a schedule per se as far as bedtime goes with her, and she still gets up 2-3 times a night, thankfully by co-sleeping it is a minor sleep disruption, but it means I can't wake up at a time necessary to get everything done, so I just put my focus on schoolwork and pick up the pieces of everything else when I can. I figure this time with her being small like this is so short in the big picture, I will muddle through for the time being. I am starting to daytime wean her, but it is a slow process and I am not starting nighttime weaning yet. So I muddle through with less sleep, and more mess in the house and know that it won't be long before she is big like the rest. I just put my limited daytime energy into schooling as much as I can.

[chaik76]

Hi! I don't have any advice (I don't co-sleep or extended nurse) but I just wanted to give you some :grouphug: and hope you get some great advice!

[Guest janainaz]

I nursed both my kids until they were two and they always slept with me. I tried to get my second one in the crib, but could not handle hearing the crying - at all. Good luck!

[Lovedtodeath]

Just to be clear... I don't want to stop co-sleeping and nursing! I just want to do a better job at my other responsibilities. Shhh.. he just started snoring. That would be SAK instead of NAK. lol

[Guest janainaz]

Just to be clear... I don't want to stop co-sleeping and nursing! I just want to do a better job at my other responsibilities. Shhh.. he just started snoring. That would be SAK instead of NAK. lol

 

Well..... I really looked at it like they are only little just once. It's such a short amount of time that you get to hold them and to let their needs take priority - I made myself relax. I always got my housework done and when my youngest (now 4) was little, my other son was just in kindergarten, so it was not major school. But still, it all gets done - just enjoy. By the minute schedules make me zonkers and with nursing babies that feed on demand or just want to cuddle - it just does not work (for me, that is).

[apmom]

I never had much of a schedule at that point (I'm currently co-sleeping and nursing my 7mo dd). I think I just always tried to nurse them down to bed early in the evening and then get out of bed and do some of the things I needed to do then. I also started them sleeping in a full-size bed in their own room that had enough room for me in it. I put them to sleep in their own bed, then had more time to myself because they didn't wake up to nurse again until the middle of the night, when I would just go sleep with them. That worked really well for us until they began to sleep through the night. Napping just rarely happened in our house, so I just made bedtime earlier (or let them sleep in the van on the way somewhere).

 

:hug I hope it gets better soon...

[Lovedtodeath]

Goldilocks, thanks for sharing your schedule. You are right that it takes me a while to figure out what to do next. I do need to write things down.

 

I think I will start slow. The biggest problem is breakfast. We aren't hungry first thing in the morning, but DS wants to nurse. I am going to try to have some fruit prepared so that we can all eat that right away. Then DD is used to watching TV first thing, so I will allow her one show while I try to get some things done and play with DS a little. Then she will be doing independent work within one hour of waking. (We have already been working on this rule.) I am not sure after that. I promised DH dinner would be ready at 5:30, and I fail at that a lot too. So I'll work on that one.

 

Breakfast and dinner. Baby steps. :)

 

Thanks for your support everyone!

[YHZNS]

We had railings on our bed. After my DD would nurse to sleep, I would usually get a 2 hour stretch of time to myself. In the evenings, after getting her down, I would do the following things:

 

1. Lay out the towels, faceclothes, and clean clothes for both girls;

 

2. Lay out everything for breakfast the following morning. I usually make oatmeal so I would lay out the pot, oats, bowls, etc.; and

 

3. Get together everything I would need for the following "school" day. I would pull out any books, art supplies, worksheets, I needed.

 

Even though my youngest doesn't nurse through the night anymore, I still do these things.

 

When the kids wake up, I usually gave them a bath right away. I know most people do it in the evening but I am too tired by then LOL. As soon as their bath is done, I put on a load of laundry.

 

Then, I give the girls breakfast. As soon as I clean up from breakfast, I put the laundry in the dryer.

 

I keep the majority of my kids toys in a large storage bin (smaller toys are in individual containers). Before starting lessons with my oldest, I let my youngest pick one container. This usually amuses her for a while. We have a rule in the house... before a new toy comes out, the old toy has to be put away. It doesn't always work with my youngest but my oldest follows this rule very well. She is also very good at picking up after my youngest.

 

My oldest daughter loves to fold laundry (go figure!). If I am really busy with my youngest, I will let her fold the laundry (if she wants to). It doesn't matter if it isn't folded perfectly... it is still clean and saves me time. :)

 

Every Friday, I take my youngest daughter to the library while my oldest daughter is in art class. I fill a whole bag of books for her and leave it by the kitchen table so she can take them onto the floor to "read".

 

I usually only get about 30 minutes or so of time without my youngest on my knee so I use this time to do math with my oldest. I find that math is the hardest subject to teach with a toddler on your knee. I try to let my youngest "help" whenever she starts to get antsy. She loves holding the flashcards for my oldest daughter when she is doing her reading, etc.

 

My youngest usually falls asleep on me (I mean actually on me) before lunch. I make sure I have any read-alouds I need for my oldest by the rocking chair.

 

On Saturday, I try to prepare at least one recipe that I can freeze for several meals (like a batch of spaghetti, soup, etc.). This way, I always have at least one potential hot meal in the freezer. ;) Somedays, I use the slow cooker. If I get up a half hour before the girls, I can get dinner in the slow cooker and have a shower all by myself. :)

 

Hope this helps!

 

Rebecca

[YHZNS]

One last little thing... my husband gave me an old keyboard for my youngest to type on so that I can get some computer time without little giners joining in. ;)

[Lovedtodeath]

We went to the dentist today. His 2 year molars are about to bust through. Whew! No wonder. It will get better! Thanks for all of the support!

 

Oh, it also turns out I was particularly depressed about it b/c I am dependent on raw cocoa now. I did not have it for two days and its the same as goind cold turkey on a prescription anti-depressant. Wierdness.

Edited February 6, 2009 by Lovedtodeath

[tribemama]

Well,

Your not alone! I am now into my second set of tandem feeders :) I tandem feed my 3 year old who was 14months old when her little brother was born and then I was nursing both of them until the summer and second trimester when the 3 year old decided to wean - that left me with one nurser until new baby was born in November! I believe in child led weaning. As having 7 children in 15 years the one thing I have learned - this time in life is a blink in their/our life time. I guess I have come to cherish these days and realize it is over to quickly! We do have a mattress on the floor next to our bed - when there seems to be to many bodies for one bed. No it is not the most attractive decor - but we are comfy. Some days we do school - some days we are tired(that would be me) - and I thank whomever is responsible for Netflix and watch a bunch of documentaries with the kids and read some books. I always have no problem playing and just staring at my babies - which really comes in handy with not looking up and around at all the other messes :) One of my midwives gave me great advice having had 5 children herself. She said pick one or two things other than your children to concentrate your efforts on. For example, the kitchen sink, the sofa, reading x number of books to other children, making it to the library once a week - and then let the rest go, and if you are able to go beyond those couple of things and do more great - if not oh well. I also try - I don't always succeed - but in cooking for a couple of weeks. It's amazing when you don't have to worry about what's for dinner for two weeks! My older children - are great at making games with the little ones to help clean up - but if it doesn't get cleaned up because I decided to read an email, type this post, sit on bed like a mama cat with her odd sized kitty's - there will always be another day. TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME and ONE NURSING SESSION AT A TIME! And it is totally ok to feel like Betsy is in the barn for the night! You are giving your children a wonderful connection - not just with you but with each other - it is amazing to watch.

Hope that helps,

Tribemama

Mother to the Tribe

[LaxMom]

The boys weaned and moved to their own bed (which they share) at 3 1/2. We were pretty sleep deprived at that point. (Much different than having one co-sleeping nursling.)

 

I second the writing out a schedule. That definitely kept me from sitting and zoning and then realizing the day was gone.

 

The other thing is this: This is only a phase. It is a short phase in both of your lives. Embrace it, enjoy it and work around it as you can. You can have a super schedule and great productivity in a little while. Until then, this is a slow, quiet time for your family.

 

Repeat as necessary. ;)

[Mandy in TN]

 

 

Please? I don't have one and we are really floundering.

 

 

Carmen-

I keep running into you!

My 6yo still sleeps with me. I stopped nursing him at three. My middle ds slept with me until he was 6yo. My oldest is my loner, he was completely weaned at 13 months and left my bed at 2yo.

Our schedule has of course modified over the years.

7:30-8:30 Dh gets ready for work. I make coffee. When I say make coffee, I mean I pour both in cups and bring dh’s to him. This is when we talk about anything that needs to be discussed away from the children. Usually, this is also when we “chat.â€

8:30-9:30 I have quiet time. I drink coffee. I check news, e-mail, and message boards.

9:30-10:30 Wake up children. My middle ds is my only breakfast eater. He eats. Now oldest ds may have coffee.

10:30 Begin schoolwork. Sometimes we start earlier and sometimes later. As I have posted in the past, we do not have a schedule. Our books have a schedule.

1:00 Eat lunch. This is pretty standard, because we have gotten to where we watch Dog Whisperer while we eat. However, this happened in the past 12 months or so. Prior to this we had lunch at noon, because for years we watched Crashbox on HBO while we ate.

Now the little guy is 6yo and unless he sleeps until noon (which he is doing here lately) he may very well be close to finishing his work by lunch. He works fast. I keep adding material and he keeps going through it.

OTOH when middle ds was almost 9 and the little guy was born, middle ds could take from waking to bedtime to finish a minimal amount of work. He is still slow like this. It takes him a full day to finish his work and even then sometimes he is not done. Aarrgh! He makes me crazy. I tell him all the time that if he were moving any slower he would be sitting still.

We don’t eat dinner until 8/ 9 o’clock. If my dh was demanding dinner at 5:30, I may would say some very tacky words in his direction. However, we have the schedule we have because we follow dh’s schedule, so maybe the whole schedule would change. Dh leaves at 8:30 and gets home between 7:30 and 8:30. If dh left at 5:30 and returned at 5:30, I guess everything would be two hours earlier. So, I guess my advice would be to retrain yourself to your dh’s schedule. He is after all the reason you are able to stay home.

About 30minutes or so before dh gets home, we run around and straighten everything up. Your dd is plenty old enough to help. Have her take all books back to where they belong. When my big guys were little, I had crates that slid under their beds. Have her throw everything in her crate. Toss all dishes in the dishwasher. The goal is to have nothing on the living area floor and a clean kitchen. When I had a toddler, I also ran the vacuum in the living area every evening. As long as the kitchen/ living area is clean, we let the beds slide. I don’t make beds often. The only reason my mom could ever give me to make my bed was to keep the sheets from getting wrinkled. I don’t care if the sheets wrinkle. I close the bedroom door and that’s that. Voila! Clean house.

We are not morning people or morning eaters. Can you homeschool in your pj’s in your bed? Instead of having dd watch tv, have her crawl in bed with you and do some schoolwork while you nurse. Finish the 3R’s first and anything else that gets done consider it a bonus.

(As a side note, your signature looks like y’all are doing a lot of three R’s.

How to Teach Spelling, OPGTR, FLL 1, WWE 1, Sensational Strategies for Teaching Readers. Are you trying to do all of that everyday? Maybe you should consider getting CLE LA and Reading and calling it a day. Streamline your LA.

Are you doing both MUS Alpha and Horizons K everyday? My little guy is doing more than one math program and my middle guy always used more than one math program. My oldest never would have been able to keep the pace with 2 programs. I had to spend a fair amount of time explaining just one program. Unless she is now flying through one program and asking for more, drop one. If you really want to do both consider alternating days and doing math year round.)

Here are some ideas to finish that bonus material (WP SSBB and FIAR) Do schoolwork while she is in the tub and trapped (any part of those bonus materials that you can read to her) or better yet in the car while neither child can move. I have been known to sit in the car and not let ds play at the park until we finished a lesson. It is amazing how fast that lesson can be finished. When dd goes to bed at night, is another good time for read-aloud material- especially if dh is watching the little man.

Any way around, no matter how much has been finished, an hour before dh gets home stop. Unless you read aloud at bedtime, that’s the end of the day- period.

 

HTH-

Mandy

[Lovedtodeath]

Great suggestions Mandy! As to your questions: We have stopped with the spelling unless a lesson applies to what we learn in OPG, and then it is just copywork. We will pick it back up when we are done with OPG. The OG program is one that I just found and will use with DS, but it is not a need for DD right now. We switch back and forth in WWE or FLL and do not do both in the same week it just depends on a good stopping point and what we have been enjoying at the time. I pull Horizons K out if I think we need to look at something from a different angle, or need some review worksheets while stuck on math facts. We are not trying to do all of Horizons K. MUS is our main program. DD slept with me until I brought DS home from the hospital. Adding a child to our family has been very traumatic for all of us. I hate to say that, we really love him, but it has.

 

Hugs to you!

 

Carmen