Our youngest

[Meriwether]

I happened to be at my parents' house the past few days. We walked right in when we got there. They were expecting us, but I would have walked right in even if it was a surprise. My sister was in Florida with some of her kids for an event. It is too long a story to tell the details, but there was a lot of mess created in the house while she was gone (everyone worked hard all week, so it wasn't just people not wanting to take care of business). I asked my niece if she wanted help cleaning up on Saturday. I went over. I would have walked right in there, too, but my nephew saw before I did. I said hello and started washing dishes.

My niece and I got things looking pretty good pretty quickly, but there was a lot of laundry to do. Their machines take a fair amount of time, so we decided to take the laundry and do it at my parents' house. Then niece could hang out with us instead of being home alone and it would get done more quickly. I did call mom to ask, but it was more letting her know because she wouldn't have said no. I also told/asked her if I should tell my nephews (and their friends) to stop in for supper at mom's since they would be going past on their way home from soccer games. I told her I would make pizzas for supper. I picked up what we needed and made extra to send home with my sister's family to make another meal easy.

And that was all natural and normal for us.

Edited Monday at 01:46 PM by Meriwether

[YaelAldrich]

@Scarlett, here's my latest young adult episode that might make you laugh.. or cringe. 

My second oldest child asked yesterday afternoon if they could come watch the debates at my house. I said, "On what tv? We don't have a TV as you know." They said they would watch it on a laptop with their friend who is sleeping at our house all summer long (the friend's family lives in Israel so he has no local home base). I automatically asked if they were bringing their partner for the debate watching and they said yes.

So they show up yesterday evening alone. I asked where their partner was. They said their partner was not coming. I said fine. They went to the basement to watch the debate and eat dinner. They scrounged around in my fridge to find things they wanted to eat. They made a mess, which I overlooked. They left their dishes in the sink instead of putting it into the dishwasher, which I overlooked. The dishwasher was full of clean dishes which in 5 minutes they could have put away, which I overlooked. Then they asked if they could stay over the night. I asked why because they have an apartment 3 miles away that they live in all year long that we pay for. We've spent about $50,000 over the last year between rent utilities etc. but I said it was okay for them to stay overnight, reminding them that this is a very active household on Friday. I wanted to work out in the morning, and I need to get access to the basement multiple times to do laundry and to get food out of the freezer and pantry. So that they knew they could not sleep in. The basement is the only private place for people to sleep in the house at this point.

I woke up to find extra shoes in my front entry this morning. They were my kids partner's shoes. She did not come to the debate watching yesterday and no one asked if the partner could sleep over. So I was a little surprised. I didn't do my workout because they were in the basement. I got up a little later and went downstairs and knocked on the door to the basement and said good morning and that I would need to be getting downstairs to do things. The lights stayed off and nobody moved to get up and get out of the public area. Other children came downstairs and want to go to the basement to get food and they were told they could not come down by my child. At 10:00 a.m. I knocked a louder and said this is an active household on Fridays and I need to get downstairs to the basement to get things. They asked what was needed and I said when I needed and they offered to bring it up. But my laundry is downstairs in the basement and I have four loads that need to be done today. So about 15 minutes later I knocked louder and said I need to speak to my child. 

I took my kid upstairs to the third floor where my bedroom is closed the door and firmly and clearly explained that he was being discourteous. I re-explained the parameters of them staying over and how they disregarded them on several counts. 

I I said to them that if they liked staying over so much that they can start doing some of the chores again and so I gave him a chore to do that needs to be done in the next hour and a half. 

This young adult is doing the same things (not cleaning up after themselves, bringing over sleepover guests without giving other people notice) to his roommates (his older brother and a friend) and they are annoyed with them. So I think they think they can get away with this stuff in my home. I clearly explained that that wasn't going to happen here either.

 

[fairfarmhand]

1 hour ago, YaelAldrich said:

@Scarlett, here's my latest young adult episode that might make you laugh.. or cringe. 

My second oldest child asked yesterday afternoon if they could come watch the debates at my house. I said, "On what tv? We don't have a TV as you know." They said they would watch it on a laptop with their friend who is sleeping at our house all summer long (the friend's family lives in Israel so he has no local home base). I automatically asked if they were bringing their partner for the debate watching and they said yes.

So they show up yesterday evening alone. I asked where their partner was. They said their partner was not coming. I said fine. They went to the basement to watch the debate and eat dinner. They scrounged around in my fridge to find things they wanted to eat. They made a mess, which I overlooked. They left their dishes in the sink instead of putting it into the dishwasher, which I overlooked. The dishwasher was full of clean dishes which in 5 minutes they could have put away, which I overlooked. Then they asked if they could stay over the night. I asked why because they have an apartment 3 miles away that they live in all year long that we pay for. We've spent about $50,000 over the last year between rent utilities etc. but I said it was okay for them to stay overnight, reminding them that this is a very active household on Friday. I wanted to work out in the morning, and I need to get access to the basement multiple times to do laundry and to get food out of the freezer and pantry. So that they knew they could not sleep in. The basement is the only private place for people to sleep in the house at this point.

I woke up to find extra shoes in my front entry this morning. They were my kids partner's shoes. She did not come to the debate watching yesterday and no one asked if the partner could sleep over. So I was a little surprised. I didn't do my workout because they were in the basement. I got up a little later and went downstairs and knocked on the door to the basement and said good morning and that I would need to be getting downstairs to do things. The lights stayed off and nobody moved to get up and get out of the public area. Other children came downstairs and want to go to the basement to get food and they were told they could not come down by my child. At 10:00 a.m. I knocked a louder and said this is an active household on Fridays and I need to get downstairs to the basement to get things. They asked what was needed and I said when I needed and they offered to bring it up. But my laundry is downstairs in the basement and I have four loads that need to be done today. So about 15 minutes later I knocked louder and said I need to speak to my child. 

I took my kid upstairs to the third floor where my bedroom is closed the door and firmly and clearly explained that he was being discourteous. I re-explained the parameters of them staying over and how they disregarded them on several counts. 

I I said to them that if they liked staying over so much that they can start doing some of the chores again and so I gave him a chore to do that needs to be done in the next hour and a half. 

This young adult is doing the same things (not cleaning up after themselves, bringing over sleepover guests without giving other people notice) to his roommates (his older brother and a friend) and they are annoyed with them. So I think they think they can get away with this stuff in my home. I clearly explained that that wasn't going to happen here either.

 

You’re nicer than I would have been. After telling my child that I’d be up early and need their space, I would have knocked, said in 5 minutes I’m coming in to do laundry and work out. And I would have done so. In other words, the nest would have not been so comfortable.

Edited Friday at 05:04 PM by fairfarmhand