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Christmas dinner dilemma...


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We've had some last minute changes to our Christmas plans and I have a bit of a dilemma.

 

My brother had invited some Brazilian students to his house for Christmas, so couldn't join us. His plans fell through and now he and his family are coming after all and we are beyond thrilled.

 

He is a GREAT cook and loves to try and share new recipes. He wants to bring smoked pork chops, which is what he had planned to make at home, so I was thinking I would make all the sides and desserts to go with that.

 

Then it occurred to me that my MIL does not eat pork because it "upsets her stomach". However, she can eat a spiral-sliced ham all day long with no ill effect. She is a little bit of a hypochondriac and if she has a bit of trouble that she can associate with a food, she will never eat that food again. The first meal I ever made for her was a simple tomato soup with homemade bread after we picked her up from the airport. She wouldn't eat the soup because the acid of the tomatoes upset her stomach. So she ordered a pizza. You get the picture.

 

I know this about MIL and work pretty hard to cook accordingly, because as nutty as it seems to me, I do want her to feel welcome. But, I also want to honor my brother and the real joy he gets out of the holiday is cooking.

 

So do I:

 

1) ask my brother to make something different

2) go ahead have my brother make the pork and make the meal centered around the pork, but make a second meat that I know MIL can eat

3) serve the pork and act like I forgot about MILs problem with it (this isn't really an option, except in my imagination)

 

What do you think?

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How vocal will your MIL be if you do #3?

 

If it were someone other than your MIL who claimed that pork upset her stomach even though she could eat ham, how would you handle it?

 

What does your dh say? She's his mother, after all.

 

I'd be inclined to do #2, but I'd SO want to do #3. I guess I'd have to consider what the fall-out might be if I did #3, KWIM?

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So do I:

 

1) ask my brother to make something different

2) go ahead have my brother make the pork and make the meal centered around the pork, but make a second meat that I know MIL can eat

3) serve the pork and act like I forgot about MILs problem with it (this isn't really an option, except in my imagination)

 

What do you think?

 

Is there an option 4? I'm thinking of, "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing", I think, where the house rule was, "Eat it or wear it."

 

Seriously though, I think I'd go with option 2.

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I would probably serve some sides that can be mains.. like macaroni and cheese and soup and a hearty salad. The meal can then be complete even without meat.

 

I do understand though if you wanted to serve a second meat either just to her or to everyone. A simple explanation is all that is needed... dietary needs. (As the mother of kids who once had terrible food allergies I think your attempt to meet her needs is wonderful.)

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How vocal will your MIL be if you do #3?

 

If it were someone other than your MIL who claimed that pork upset her stomach even though she could eat ham, how would you handle it?

 

What does your dh say? She's his mother, after all.

 

I'd be inclined to do #2, but I'd SO want to do #3. I guess I'd have to consider what the fall-out might be if I did #3, KWIM?

 

Oh, she'll be vocal. We will hear all about her food issues throughout the meal, regardless of what is served.

 

It's a good question you ask. My MIL operates in a parallel universe sometimes, so I don't know how I would handle it if it were someone else. My child? I'd say get over it and eat the pork chop. An unrelated guest? I'd be sure there was plenty of food they could eat on the table. I guess MIL falls somewhere in the middle.

 

Bud will be fine with anything I decide. He manages her pretty well and keep any fall out to a minimum.

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Thanks everyone! I think I'm going to put a turkey breast in the oven and just serve that along with everything else. That way, even if no one else eats it, we'll have something to use for sandwiches later.

 

You've all made me laugh and know I'm not being too uncaring, and at the same time encouraged me to be a good example to my children in providing hospitality.

 

Sometimes it's hard to be a good example. ;)

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Oh, she'll be vocal. We will hear all about her food issues throughout the meal, regardless of what is served.

 

It's a good question you ask. My MIL operates in a parallel universe sometimes, so I don't know how I would handle it if it were someone else. My child? I'd say get over it and eat the pork chop. An unrelated guest? I'd be sure there was plenty of food they could eat on the table. I guess MIL falls somewhere in the middle.

 

Bud will be fine with anything I decide. He manages her pretty well and keep any fall out to a minimum.

 

In that case, I'd go with #3 :D

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