Aging out of group learning

[Nm.]

If you do group subjects, have you experienced a child aging out of the group?  My soon to be 12 yr old isn’t interested in learning with siblings.  He might listen in on things, but as a daily requirement I don’t think it’ll work.

[8filltheheart]

My kids have flowed in and out of fitting in with siblings.  They might get beyond a younger sibling for a couple of yrs but then the younger sibling is functioning on a similar level once again.  Especially in late middle school/high school, combining for history, lit, or philosophy discussions has been great.

Edited April 7, 2023 by 8filltheheart

[Janeway]

10 hours ago, Lovinglife123 said:

If you do group subjects, have you experienced a child aging out of the group?  My soon to be 12 yr old isn’t interested in learning with siblings.  He might listen in on things, but as a daily requirement I don’t think it’ll work.

I am finding that my 13 yr old needs higher level stuff than his siblings, by enough that group learning is not practical. 

[ScoutTN]

Ours went in and out, as 8 said. My younger is in school now, but we still have good discussions about lit, film, history, politics etc. because he and his sister can work on the same level intellectually. That didn’t work when she was a young teen and he was still really an elementary school student in his thinking.

[hollyhock2]

I found that my kids generally aged out of group science at about Gr. 7 and then out of group history by high school. It's okay to quit.

[Nm.]

Thanks!  It’s a lot of trying to get him to come downstairs for history/read alouds.  He’s fine doing his work on a checklist, but constantly breaking him out of his play to come to group time is so frustrating for both of us.  He doesn’t have video games, just legos.. I miss him being younger and wanting to listen, but okay with changing things up for him, just doing group time with the others.  He has adhd/HFA so that might be part of it.

Edited April 7, 2023 by Lovinglife123

[ScoutTN]

I tend to choose RAs to interest the oldest kid and play catch-up with youngers (books older heard but younger doesn’t remember) at another time or in other ways.

[Lori D.]

Not quite the same, as I only have 2 DSs close in age, so I never had to juggle a wide age range. BUT... we sort of experienced this in context of our small homeschool support group (about 6-7 families), with about 15 kids with a range of ages, from late elementary down through pre-school.

The group activities were great while DSs were in the early elementary grades, but once my boys hit 5th/6th grade (11-12yo) and they were the oldest in the group, they really were bored and needed to move on.

Since your DS is the oldest, he will be your guinea pig in figuring out what this looks like for YOUR family. 😉 

Maybe still all start the day together with a short family devotions time, but then he peels off for his own work for the rest of the day?

Maybe shoot for covering the same history period, each child at their own level, and come together once a week for hands-on, or family read-aloud around that history time period?

Or, find a group of similar-age peers for DS, such as a middle-school aged homeschool group (either social or co-op class) for your DS, so he can still have group interactions and discussions at his higher level of thinking/working? Or could you host (or rotate hosting with several other homeschool families) of a half-dozen middle school homeschoolers once a week for a book club, or do science hands-on together, or other group activity?

Edited April 7, 2023 by Lori D.

[Quarter Note]

17 hours ago, Lovinglife123 said:

My soon to be 12 yr old isn’t interested in learning with siblings.  He might listen in on things, but as a daily requirement I don’t think it’ll work.

 

2 hours ago, Lovinglife123 said:

but constantly breaking him out of his play to come to group time is so frustrating for both of us.  

@Lovinglife123, he's making his wishes loud and clear: "I'm growing up. Mom.  I need to separate from you and from the littles."

And it's okay.  This is a good thing.  Let him know that you respect his growing out of things.  Give him more space.

Remember, the relationship is worth more than the checklist.  (I'm saying this because I'm living through it now, too.)

Best wishes from one mom of a 12-year-old son to another.  

[Nm.]

Thanks!  It’s great to confirm this is all normal and others experience the same.  I plan to still do an optional read aloud with all of them.., just not required for him to be “done” with school.  We play games together and such, but I think he’ll be happier knowing he’s in charge of when his official school day ends.