Ramifications for?

[gardenmom5]

A licensed social worker KNOWINGLY encouraging  someone on oxy to drink booze? On multiple occasions. 

Yes, this contributed to the addiction. 

[Sneezyone]

I think this needs more context. I understand your fear and concern tho. Is this SW familiar with both the prescribed medication, dose, use/misuse history and ENCOURAGED drinking or a social friend who invited your SIL out for drinks without detailed knowledge of the above. Reckless disregard is a civil injury/tort and a potential ethics violation. Is that what you’re describing? Who knows.

[gardenmom5]

Friend deliberately took him out drinking, despite knowing he was on oxy.

  He has heard the stories about the injury leading to the drug use and all the drama about getting it.

He's supported dsil in his wanting the drugs.

 

He has heard 2dd' concerns, and undermined them despite 2dd being a pharmď in a hospital. Incidentally she confronted him on that and he apologized 

 

 

 

[Sneezyone]

2 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:

Friend deliberately took him out drinking, despite knowing he was on oxy.

  He has heard the stories about the injury leading to the drug use and all the drama about getting it.

He's supported dsil in his wanting the drugs.

 

He has heard 2dd' concerns, and undermined them despite 2dd being a pharmď in a hospital. Incidentally she confronted him on that and he apologized 

 

 

 

Knowing someone has been prescribed a drug for a painful/serious injury and knowing that they’re abusing it/addicted to it are not the same things. SWs aren’t pharmacologists. It sounds like once aware of the severity of the issues the person apologized, ergo, didn’t know before. 

I understand wanting to lay blame and find fault. Based on what you said earlier, I’d be looking first and foremost at the prescribing physicians to see what they noted/observed of his behavior and know or should have known about drug interactions, not at friends and acquaintances.

Beyond that, like Faith Manor, I think your immediate priority needs to be evacuation and safety.

[Faith-manor]

None. Seriously. I am not kidding. You can lodge a complaint. We did when a psychiatrist told my dad he should be allowed to move home and LIVE with our mother whom he tried to kill, albeit while on singular which made him suicidal and experiencing pareneoplastic syndrome. He was brain damaged and still very unstable, but he cared only for the comfort of his patient and not the safety of anyone else. Nothing was done. Nothing. Still practicing to this day.

[Soror]

I don't think so. It would be different if it was his SW but just a friend that is a SW that is not the same. 

It is horrible what they are all going through but I think this blame is misplaced and not helpful.

[Faith-manor]

15 minutes ago, Soror said:

I don't think so. It would be different if it was his SW but just a friend that is a SW that is not the same. 

It is horrible what they are all going through but I think this blame is misplaced and not helpful.

Agreed. It is natural to want to blame the stupid people who aid and abet the situation, but it doesn't get you anywhere, and expense energy elsewhere. Tell her attorney, let he or she decide if any formal complaints should be registered, and them do it. Use your energy to assist Dd in getting out, and trying to keep the kids safe. 

If professionals are saying he is an addict, then he probably is one, and all she can do is try to protect her income from him so she and the kids have it to live on. 

And again, should he get sober, stay sober, demonstrate mental stability, do the work to become a safe, loving person in the future, she can then consider her options. He has to do the work though. 

[gardenmom5]

13 minutes ago, Faith-manor said:

 

And again, should he get sober, stay sober, demonstrate mental stability, do the work to become a safe, loving person in the future, she can then consider her options. He has to do the work though. 

Best case is he chooses his family and works to get off the drugs and gets sober.

Right now, it's looking very unlikely.   His best bud asked him where he thinks this leads? Is he planning to get divorced?   It got him thinking,  but he would rather have the drugs. 

[Sneezyone]

4 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:

Best case is he chooses his family and works to get off the drugs and gets sober.

Right now, it's looking very unlikely.   His best bud asked him where he thinks this leads? Is he planning to get divorced?   It got him thinking,  but he would rather have the drugs. 

It sounds like you still think he’s capable of being a rational actor when the behaviors you describe suggest otherwise. Are you expecting him to override addiction and prioritize his family through sheer willpower? That’s not a thing. He sounds very sick. Sick people aren’t always capable of making ‘choices’ the way you’re describing it.

Edited February 17, 2023 by Sneezyone

[Faith-manor]

Gardenmom, I am so damn sorry. He definitely sounds to me like he is going to choose the drugs over his family, his life. Once an adult makes that choice, I am convinced that all people can do is get the hell out of the way. But, the silver lining here might be that he will welcome a divorce, and not want custody or visitation because the money and time spent would detract from getting high. I have seen that scenario play out. The addiction jus wanted to be free and once free, never gave another thought to carrying out he nefarious plans because he didn't need to kill his family in order to be free to live his addiction. So maybe there is a little hope for her safety in that regard.

[KSera]

59 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

I understand wanting to lay blame and find fault. Based on what you said earlier, I’d be looking first and foremost at the prescribing physicians to see what they noted/observed of his behavior and know or should have known about drug interactions, not at friends and acquaintances.

I know back in early December, there was a pharmacist and physician denying more oxy and dsil’s wife pushed for him to be able to get more despite the initial pharmacist’s refusal to fill more. 

10 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

It sounds like you still think he’s capable of being a rational actor when the behaviors you describe suggest otherwise. Are you expecting him to override addiction and prioritize his family through sheer willpower? That’s not a thing. He sounds very sick. Sick people aren’t always capable of making ‘choices’ the way you’re describing it.

This. He didn’t choose this. The physical symptoms of withdrawal are so intensely awful that is is simply natural for someone to want to take something to make those symptoms go away. I know all the blame is being laid on the current mystery cocktail, whatever it is, but he’s not in withdrawal from that. He’s in withdrawal from months of oxy use and now not getting any oxy. 
 

The family member this happened to got clean in rehab, though rehab was incredibly difficult due to the aforementioned physical withdrawal, and then had a return to normal life with a brief relapse bobble after a later injury. He has been clean a long time, happily married and a father. Two weeks after withdrawal of the drug is early days. She needs to stay safe given the stakes and especially since guns are in the mix (was she previously okay with guns in the house with the kids?). But dsil is not making choices to be addicted anymore than someone with anxiety is choosing to be anxious.