Note to self: never talk to step MIL about homeschooling

[Sue G in PA]

:glare: She calls to talk about Christmas gift ideas for my older 2 kids and about the computer that she and my FIL are so generously buying us. Great people. Very generous...and very opinionated. :glare: I *thought* they supported our decision to homeschool. Well, step-MIL goes on and on about her nieces and nephews in public school and how much work they have to do and that they are writing 10 page reports EVERY WEEK, have 2 1/2 hours of homework each night and blah, blah, blah. I just listen and brace myself for "the question"...."so, what are YOUR kids doing?" :glare: Well, as I have learned not to compare apples to oranges, I just tell her that we don't necessarily follow public school curriculum or guidelines and that my dh and I feel we are sufficiently preparing them for upper level work. Well, not good enough. What, EXACTLY, are you doing, she asks. Again, I tell her that my philosophy on writing in the elementary and middle grades (after doing much research) doesn't mesh w/ the public school philosophy. She starts ranting about college and how it doesn't matter that I don't "agree" w/ public school b/c in college the playing field is "leveled". Okay, I get that, but who is to say that the public schools will necessarily prepare my children more or better for college? Sorry, just had to rant and vent. As if I'm not already doubting that we are doing enough, right? Thanks for listening.

[Jackie in NE]

Feels a bit like walking a tight-rope, doesn't it? Trying your darnedest to get successfully to the other side, and one miss-step will cause defeat. Add in step-MIL throwing tomatoes, and the job becomes almost impossible. I just try to focus.... one step in front of the other. Ignore the tomatoes. Place quality above quantity (read tailored homeschool work above "one-size-fits-all" ps work).

 

Hang in there. :)

 

Jackie

[Julie in CA]

:glare: She calls to talk about Christmas gift ideas for my older 2 kids and about the computer that she and my FIL are so generously buying us. Great people. Very generous...and very opinionated. :glare: I *thought* they supported our decision to homeschool. Well, step-MIL goes on and on about her nieces and nephews in public school and how much work they have to do and that they are writing 10 page reports EVERY WEEK, have 2 1/2 hours of homework each night and blah, blah, blah. I just listen and brace myself for "the question"...."so, what are YOUR kids doing?" :glare: Well, as I have learned not to compare apples to oranges, I just tell her that we don't necessarily follow public school curriculum or guidelines and that my dh and I feel we are sufficiently preparing them for upper level work. Well, not good enough. What, EXACTLY, are you doing, she asks. Again, I tell her that my philosophy on writing in the elementary and middle grades (after doing much research) doesn't mesh w/ the public school philosophy. She starts ranting about college and how it doesn't matter that I don't "agree" w/ public school b/c in college the playing field is "leveled". Okay, I get that, but who is to say that the public schools will necessarily prepare my children more or better for college? Sorry, just had to rant and vent. As if I'm not already doubting that we are doing enough, right? Thanks for listening.

Sounds like a concerned grandma thing to me. If I were in your place, I would not get into the "we don't follow the public school standards" discussion. It will not be reassuring to the grandparents. You could certainly give it some thought, and then write down what you're doing in a way that will sound acceptable to them. What could it hurt to go along with them in terms of giving them some bragging fodder, kwim?

 

There's always a way to phrase what you're doing to make it sound more "official". For instance, if what I was doing was grocery shopping with my dc, I'd have them help me find the best buys, or match up the items with coupons, etc. For someone who was searching for evidence of stringent academic requirements in my homeschool, I'd say that we were covering aspects of consumer mathematics, including dollar-cost comparison and marketplace economy.

[wenn]

:grouphug:

[LisaKinVA]

Well, first off I'm seriously questioning the amount of work your step-MIL claims the other grandkids are doing (a 10-page paper a week? Are they in high school and taking 4 AP classes??? Seriously. Even in most of my college classes I didn't have that much writing -- well, there was one class, in which I had a paper due a week, but not a 10 pager... it was a 5 pager -- but NEVER high school)

 

Keep in mind the reason many children have 2.5 hours of homework. They spend (waste) a lot of time doing other things. (Some teachers spend the class time reading the previous night's reading assignment aloud to the entire class...) Sometimes the assigned homework is really necessary for learning -- and sometimes it's just make-work. Too much homework is actually a negative (the kiddos still need down time -- not programmed learning for 8 hrs. at school, and then 2+ more at home!)

 

And no, I wouldn't talk to anyone about our homeschool program who was searching out reasons to be negative about it -- or put extra pressure on you.

 

We go through a bit of this at times with my MIL (who claims to be supportive of our homeschooling), but just last visit she was again trying to figure out why we didn't put oldest 2 in local schools (and I have more than philosophical reasons for doing so).

 

It's tiring. It's frustrating -- and always makes you question everything. Vent away! You aren't alone!

[joannqn]

Sounds like a concerned grandma thing to me. If I were in your place, I would not get into the "we don't follow the public school standards" discussion. It will not be reassuring to the grandparents. You could certainly give it some thought, and then write down what you're doing in a way that will sound acceptable to them. What could it hurt to go along with them in terms of giving them some bragging fodder, kwim?

 

There's always a way to phrase what you're doing to make it sound more "official". For instance, if what I was doing was grocery shopping with my dc, I'd have them help me find the best buys, or match up the items with coupons, etc. For someone who was searching for evidence of stringent academic requirements in my homeschool, I'd say that we were covering aspects of consumer mathematics, including dollar-cost comparison and marketplace economy.

:iagree:

 

I agree. Rather than argue with her over the differences in public school, give her something to brag about. Forget about any areas that he may be struggling in and focus on bragging to her about his strengths. Then she'll be spouting off to the nieces' and nephew's parents instead with, "Those kids of Sue's are doing such and such at home school. When will your kids do that in their school?"

 

Didn't you say somewhere that your son was doing MUS Delta? You could tell her that he will be covering advanced concepts in division along with some beginning algebra and geometry this year. I'm sure she'll remember that algebra isn't covered until at least middle school and geometry is high school work without any help from you. In this way, you are showing her that you don't follow the public school sequence rather than trying to tell her. You could also casually mention that your son is reading Lord of the Rings and follow it up with, "Do you know what year niece's school teaches that book? Scholastic lists it as 8th grade level and I was wondering if that was accurate."

[Joanne]

Have you read about Bean Dip?

 

http://goybparenting.com/?page_id=28

[FO4UR]

:grouphug: There is no point in getting bent out of shape over someone elses opinion of YOUR dc's academic career. Let her know that you are very aware of what it takes to excell in college and are diligently working to prepare your children for their future.

 

btw....so what does a kid who spends every waking hour of the day on schoolwork HAVE to write ABOUT anyway?????:tongue_smilie:

 

eta: please pass the bean dip! LOL

[Cranberry]

:glare: Well, step-MIL goes on and on about her nieces and nephews in public school and how much work they have to do and that they are writing 10 page reports EVERY WEEK, have 2 1/2 hours of homework each night

 

maybe their parents are using their kids "workload" as reasons why they don't have time to see your step MIL. :lol: Sounds fishy to me...

 

 

I like the bean dip approach...

[Jen in PA]

If I had to assess what a group of 25 or 30 students knew about Ancient Greece, or Pilgrims, or scientific discoveries of the Renaissance, I would probably assign big papers some of the time, too..... But you only need to assess how well your kids are learning, and have the time and student-teacher ratio to assess them through in-depth discussions and hands-on projects that a classroom teacher could only dream of. You can follow up on questions that arise instead of planning according to a testing calendar, allowing for the sort of love of learning and desire to acquire more knowledge that is what colleges really look for. Of course, knowing all that is true doesn't always make that sort of phone call more pleasant......

[teamturner]

Sue,

I haven't read many of the other replies but I just thought I'd pop off a few ideas.

 

I like that you offered that you are not neccessarily following the ps track and their scope and sequence. However, I think you can sell her on what you are doing schoolwise (or bore her to tears so she drops it) by explaining the overview of a classical education. People don't usually question my methods when I delve into what is classical education and point out that my dc are learning latin in elementary school. That usually ends the discussion.

 

I always remind myself that I am more interested in my dc being able to think for themselves. You could tell her that one too. Also, I would explain your philosophy of laying a good grammar foundation before introducing formal writing. You could also point out that many believe if you wait until an older grade to teach formal writing they pick it up faster. That's what I've been told by other homeschoolers at least. And you could explain how hs is much more efficient and that your dc don't have 2 1/2 hours of homework each day since they are getting it done during your normal school hours. And the whole tailored education for each child versus the cookie cutter education offered by ps should be a positive to any caring grandparent. And honestly, I thought there was evidence showing that most college freshmen can hardly write a good paper anyways. A fair number of them are lacking in basic grammar and spelling. Someone correct me if I'm wrong.

 

It doesn't sound like you could have avoided the questions since your step mil was really pressing you to explain. And I agree that you should look for ways to brag on your dc and talk up the successes you are having in your hs. That's just my 2 cents.