Ginevra Posted September 21, 2019 Share Posted September 21, 2019 I was planning to go tonight to the visitation for my high school buddy who just died from cancer. I only have tonight available, so if I’m going, I need to get dressed here shortly and drive to my hometown. I don’t feel good, though. I feel tremendously tired and headachy. But this could be psychosomatic; I feel a ton of anxiety about seeing a bunch of schoolmates and, as I said in my other thread, the injustice of her dying from cancer at my same age with a very similar family makeup is making me feel a resistance to going, almost like I can’t face up to it. And I’m so tired and had insomnia last night. I’m considering not going, but I am also afraid I will badly regret it... PS. I don’t think I would be particularly missed by anyone; I intended to go to come to terms with her death within myself. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted September 21, 2019 Share Posted September 21, 2019 Well, this is just me of course...but I tend to do things that I fear I might regret if I didn't and cannot go back and fix. Unless you are just feeling really lousy in which case I'd just skip it and lie on the couch, I would go. I can understand that it may feel a reminder of how fragile life is and how we don't have the answers as to why some people die and others live. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted September 21, 2019 Share Posted September 21, 2019 You could send a card to the family, and offer to visit them in a few weeks. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 Just reading this now, Quill. How did things go? How are you feeling? Hugs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 It could be a little of both. If you can’t go, send a card to her family with a note. How are you doing now? I hope a good night’s rest brings you peace and feeling better. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 I did not go last night. I dont think I am sick, just was intensely anxious about going. I do feel like I wish I had marshaled and gone. But I also am glad I was not driving back last night, tired as I was. There are two visitations today, but I have a baseball game I would partially miss if I go to either. The funeral is Monday, which I could attend. I might. But I have worse anxiety about the funeral than the visitations. Now I just sound like a spineless weenie... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 2 hours ago, Quill said: Now I just sound like a spineless weenie... No you don't. You sound like an honest human being who is facing their own mortality. It's frightening. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 14 hours ago, Quill said: PS. I don’t think I would be particularly missed by anyone; I intended to go to come to terms with her death within myself. I don't think you need to go, Quill. I believe you can come to terms with it without being at the visitation or funeral. My two cents, and more hugs. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mominco Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 (((hugs))) I agree with what wintermom wrote! You can also send the family a card. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 Hugs, it is just fine to send a card. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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