MaBelle Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 First I want to say that I am a Christian and I firmly believe God controls all things. Secondly, I completely disagree with two of my son's chosen professions. One is a corrections officer and the other a sheriff's deputy. I worry about both a bit but it's my deputy kid that I want to throttle. He graduated from police academy as the best gunman they've had in 40 years, almost 50. He's been to sniper school and swat school (whatever they're called). He wins every shooting competition he enters. (Well of course, who's your mama??? lol). He loves his job. I don't love the high speed chases and drug raids. Makes me ill and keeps me up at night. Are any of you mothers/wives of law folks? I'm trying not to stress and double my prayers instead but sometimes it still gets me. Today is one of those days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 I wonder if it's "sitting" at the beginning of a new year and wondering what will happen during this year that brings these thoughts to the top. I do have similar thoughts at the threshold to a new year. It helps me to think that the kids could be slouching around, doing nothing, or worse yet be involved in criminal activity. It's a sort of "it could be way worse" approach. And then - as you point out - it's all of our hands anyway. We sometimes delude ourselves into thinking if they had a different job, different place of residence, different friends, etc., it would all be better but as my dh likes to menton: "You can step out of your house, slip on the stairs and kill yourself. I try a fatalistic approach by thinking: When God decides you are going home, you are going home no matter where you work or live. Not much help here, I know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbcdeDooDah Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 (edited) nm Edited December 1, 2019 by AbcdeDooDah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 Have you thought about seeing a counselor for it? Maybe they could give you some strategies for what to do with the stress. It DOES sound very stressful, and it sounds like a situation that's not going away. Fwiw, it also sounds like you raised him to be very brave. My ds has pretty significant autism and probably will never have such a fine profession, even though he's probably as good a shot as your ds was at that age. (78 out of 100 clays at a trap shoot at age 10) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaBelle Posted January 1, 2019 Author Share Posted January 1, 2019 2 minutes ago, PeterPan said: Have you thought about seeing a counselor for it? Maybe they could give you some strategies for what to do with the stress. It DOES sound very stressful, and it sounds like a situation that's not going away. Dh is pretty good at talking me down. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 Just now, MaBelle said: Dh is pretty good at talking me down. There's actually more they could do. There are things like mindfulness, tension release strategies, things you do with your body (if the counselor knows how) that you can learn to do at home that could lower the physical stress on you from the mental stress. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaBelle Posted January 1, 2019 Author Share Posted January 1, 2019 21 minutes ago, Liz CA said: And then - as you point out - it's all of our hands anyway. We sometimes delude ourselves into thinking if they had a different job, different place of residence, different friends, etc., it would all be better but as my dh likes to menton: "You can step out of your house, slip on the stairs and kill yourself. I try a fatalistic approach by thinking: When God decides you are going home, you are going home no matter where you work or live. Not much help here, I know. No, that's a lot of help. It's the truth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaBelle Posted January 1, 2019 Author Share Posted January 1, 2019 Just now, PeterPan said: There's actually more they could do. There are things like mindfulness, tension release strategies, things you do with your body (if the counselor knows how) that you can learn to do at home that could lower the physical stress on you from the mental stress. Maybe that and I'll just ride along with him and nag? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaBelle Posted January 1, 2019 Author Share Posted January 1, 2019 And on the other hand what did I expect? They're my kids. I know my CO son would love to use me as a threat sometimes. He thinks I'm uniquely qualified for having survived raising my group of Dukes of Hazard. "Straighten up in there or I'm calling my momma!" It's try to laugh or pull my hair out. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbcdeDooDah Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 (edited) nm Edited December 1, 2019 by AbcdeDooDah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaBelle Posted January 1, 2019 Author Share Posted January 1, 2019 I think that the adrenaline gets going and makes him.....not so conscious of his own personal safety. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbcdeDooDah Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 (edited) nm Edited December 1, 2019 by AbcdeDooDah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 Aw, just try and put things into perspective. What you hear in the news is the very slim minority. Chances are almost certain that they'll be fine! I'm not a family member of law folk, but I am the mother of some kids who have chosen to do very risky things. In the end, as a Christian, I believe that life as we know it now is just a glimmer of life in its fullest with God. We all go someday. So, it's kind of fatalistic in a way (preparing for the worst), but putting it into perspective like that makes any hardship feel much smaller and more bearable. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
City Mouse Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 I agree with the idea of finding a therapist or counselor for yourself. Your kids could have long happy careers in law enforcement, and that would be a long time for you to be so anxious. I met my now DH in college when he was a theater major and had no interest in law enforcement. He has been in law enforcement for 28 yrs now which included just over 20 years at a big city PD. While there are times when I get anxious, I take comfort in the idea that he is very happy in his career. In 28 years he has never had an on the job injury. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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