OrganicJen Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Aaarghh! My 15 year old has always had mild challenges related to ADHD, sensory integration difficulties, IQ barely in "normal" range, executive function impairment etc. But, they were not really that bad and by homeschooling we effectively handled most of his issues and things were okay. But now it seems like as he gets older everything is getting worse. I think part is likely the hormonal changes he's going through that compound his problems, and maybe part is just that the older he gets the bigger the gap between his chronological age and his intellectual age get. It's like he was able to get to a certain point intellectually and he stopped there and is getting further away from that as he ages which makes things worse. Anyway, we had been very optimistic and he was college bound and now we are just hoping he can even handle trade school. I think I'm just feeling like I'm grieving because I really believed things would stay how they were or improve as he got older, not get worse. It's frustrating now when he's almost 16 that we are having to completely alter all our educational and vocational plans and expectations. Has this kind of thing happened to anyone else? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Vent away! I have a 14yo son with mild intellectual disability and "ADHD & autism tendencies" (whatever that's supposed to mean). It's funny that you mention this, because just yesterday I was somewhat despairing over the fact that as he gets older the discrepancy between his chronological age and his mental age grow further and further apart. Whereas he used to be able to blend in with his agemates just fine when he was in early elementary, then he started to play with kids younger than himself, and now... now he's 14 and still wants to play with kids half his age. But as he gets older, the kids are less and less accepting. It just breaks my heart. As for his ability and future, we have decided that we will continue to homeschool him until he is 21 years old or so. If he were in public school he would stay in a transition program until that age anyhow, so why not in a homeschool environment as well? Then we will be working with the Department of Assistive and Rehabilitative Services to help with employment options. He is not college bound, and he is likely not trade school bound. He will need a special training program of some sort. But you know what matters? What really matters? He's a happy kid. He has a lot of fun with life. He is loved by his brothers and family. And (religious content), he is a child of God. That's what ultimately matters in this life, really. Sometimes it is hard to remember that, so I'm just reminding you. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 I have noticed a big change in my almost-11yo daughter. Yes I believe hormones are making an already bad situation worse. I do hope that when the hormones taper off, things will get better. I think it helps to let her focus on what interests her, as it seems to boost her self-esteem, which is so basic to everything for her. And a few successes mean more than a high volume of not-fun, mediocre work. We do need to work more intentionally on the behavior / attitude side of things, and I'm wondering when I will ever have time to do that .... PS I think that from my general observations of young people, it is not unusual for them to seem to stop or go backward during the tweens / early teens - even kids who don't have identified learning or behavior issues. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathermomster Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 (edited) My DS is 2e with 3 SLDs. EF issues during the 9th and 10th grades made me nearly insane. By late 10th grade, I found a child psych and then a CBT to help with EF. Things are better, and my hope is tentatively restored. DS has one acceptance letter from a small uni and has applied to a couple of others. I will be content if he chooses a CC at this point. I love what Kinsa wrote. Proverbs 16:9 states "The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps." Edited September 8, 2017 by Heathermomster 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Heather, that's exciting!!! Small unis are good!!! Dd is doing really well at her (not teeny tiny but compared to state schools small) univ. She really wanted to be snooty about it, like oh I'm better than their incoming students. And it's true, her scores are on the very high end of what goes to that school. But the SERVICES they offer were exactly what she needed. They fit her like a GLOVE with all kinds of services and have bent over BACKWARD to give her everything we asked for. My two cents, and not my business, would be to send him to a small univ with good services, not a CC. CC is going to be a very different dynamic as far as the students. My dd is enjoying the vibrant social life and all the opportunities of being completely on-campus now. Other thing is, my dd made some big jumps even this summer. Like HUGE jumps. This spring we were like oh my lands, this is not working, she's so not going to be ready, she should have taken another year. By fall it all clicked. So even if it's looking freakish, you might go for the stretch. :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 (edited) This is what happened to my ds and he has a very high IQ. It doesn't make up for the huge gap that he has in his functioning level and real world adulthood. He was fine until about age 12 and then yr by yr things started to become more pronounced. Now at 25, the gap is huge. FWIW, attending college academically was not a problem for him. It was everything else about attending college that was (like taking classes he thought were dumb and irrelevant.) Edited September 8, 2017 by 8FillTheHeart Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicJen Posted September 9, 2017 Author Share Posted September 9, 2017 Thank you all so much for your replies. I really do feel better just knowing I'm not the only one dealing with this type of situation. Maybe I was being naive when I used to think he would always just stay a certain amount behind his peers instead of the gap just continually growing like it has. It used to not be a big deal when he played with younger kids because they weren't that much younger but now it's difficult that he only wants to play with kids half his age. Fortunately he absolutely adores his baby brother and I think his immaturity is sort of a positive in that he seems to have a lot of fun playing with him when lots of 15 year olds wouldn't be that interested in spending time with a toddler. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 While certainly college is not the only path, I am encouraged by the THINK College initiative working to open up opportunities in post-secondary education for students with ID and DD. My two older children are on the college track so I think that my SN child will want to attend college if we can find a program that is a good "fit" for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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