Funny Kid Quotes

[BarbecueMom]

After showering and getting dressed this morning, I walked out into the living room, where my 3yo was sitting on the floor next to a pile of throw blankets. There was a "hole" in the middle of them.

 

Me: "Hey, did you make a nest?"

3yo: "No Mom. I made the depths of Tartarus!"

 

Of course. Naturally.

 

This same child at Costco last weekend:

 

3yo: "I think we need those vitamins."

Me: "No, those aren't the right ones."

3yo: "Mom, don't argue with a three year old!"

Me: "I'm just telling you those aren't the ones we..."

3yo: "Yeah, you're still doing it."

 

Anyone else have some cute and/or funny kid quotes to share?

[Elizabeth86]

So cute. I dont have any, but they say something funny daily it seems..

[Elizabeth86]

Well last night while laying down with the boys ds 2 said I was an angel and ds1 told me I had tge prettiest wrist in the whole world.

[fairfarmhand]

DS to his friend H: I'm not really sick. I just have a man cold.

 

H: I don't know what that is.

 

Ds: It's when a man has the same cold as a woman, but he just complains about it more. So you see, I'm not really sick.

[luvbug in Ohio]

My 8 year old son.  I realized after his shower, that there were no clean towels in the bathroom.  They were still sitting in the dryer.  So I asked him what he dried off with, and he said "The shower curtain, Mom, just like I always do when I don't have a towel."   :confused1:

 

My 3 year old son. "You're the prettiest mommy in the whole wide world.  You would look just like Minnie Mouse, if you weren't so fat and had some white shoes."  :huh:

[Guest]

From my somewhat history-challenged kid:

 

"Back in the 1990's before they had cars and computers...."

 

From my history buff:

 

"History Buff! Time to get on your socks and shoes!"

 

"But I AM wearing my toxic shoes!"

 

"Decapitated coffee"

Edited July 20, 2017 by Guest

[mytwomonkeys]

When my daughter was a young 3, I picked her up from Sunday school. I asked her how it went and what she had learned that day. Her response was, "David was a sheep hurter. He hurted his sheep all the time." The lesson was about David the sheep herder that became king. That was her take-away, lol.

 

With my son, when he was potty training (late 2 or very young 3 - this kid didn't care about potty training at all)...He had peed his pants. And for some reason I asked him, "Did you pee pee in your pants?" (Um duh). His response was, "No. A bunny rabbit peed in my pants. It wasn't me. The bunny rabbit did it". lol.

[JustEm]

4 year old: "Ada Twist Science piss." (While we're suggesting books to read."

 

8 year old, in shocked tone:" Percival said pee!!"

 

Percival matter of fact: " No! I said piss."

[Scarlett]

I love these. My son was so hilarious when he was younger. One time ds and his same age friend were discussing a line in a movie that said, ' get off your butt so I can kick your ass'. I expressed disapproval and said it was not nice. I heard ds say to his friend in the back seat, 'I didn't even know butt was a bad word' .

[BarbecueMom]

4 year old: "Ada Twist Science piss." (While we're suggesting books to read."

 

8 year old, in shocked tone:" Percival said pee!!"

 

Percival matter of fact: " No! I said piss."

I am never going to hear the title of that book correctly again, LOL. Too funny!

[BarbecueMom]

From my somewhat history-challenged kid:

 

"Back in the 1990's before they had cars and computers...."

 

 

I just went in to check DS9's spelling. He had to use his study words in sentences. He came up with, "I took out my sketch of witches. It was old, like it hadn't been used since the 1990's."

 

The 90's. So ancient.