s/o of help for a friend

[saraha]

If you have a 17 yo boy, what are your internet rules?  Also, could you put whether they are NT or not, and why?

Thanks!

[TeenagerMom]

I have a 15 year old boy......we basically have no rules.  I do occasional spot checks of his internet history and I get a Microsoft Family report of his usage each Friday. I also make him get off electronics around 11ish at night. Likewise, my 17 year old DD has few rules also.  The latter can legally move out of my house in less than a year, so she gets pretty much 100% freedom with the exceptions of citywide curfew and a few other rules (like no closed door with the boyfriend here). 

 

I trust my kids to make good decisions and if they screw up, we deal with it as it comes.

[lllll]

nm

Edited July 11, 2017 by tentwelve

[amy g.]

I have one son. He is NT.

 

I had tons of rules about screens before he turned 17. At that point, I let him move his computer and phone into his room and no longer restricted him.

 

The reason is that I wanted him to have a full year to practice with full access to screens while still living at home, where I could be his safety net.

 

Did he abuse it? Probably.

 

Did his community college grades go down? Absolutely.

 

I would still do it again. He now has a great paying job...in computers.

[regentrude]

NT. No rules.

[Guest]

I have a 17yo son. Neurotypical. No rules.

[Scarlett]

I have a NT son age 17. No restrictions ( beyond the values of our family) and very little spot checking his history. I let up a lot once he was about 17......before that I had Microsoft Family restrictions and reports.

[MysteryJen]

My 17yo son is NT and we have no rules. I make suggestions about time management, but he needs to learn how to manage himself before he goes away to college.

[saraha]

Thank you for sharing your "rules". My friend is trying to find a way to let him have freedom on his computer, but at the same time doesn't trust him now with that freedom.  When you say that you have no rules, does that mean you also don't check histories, etc? And if you do check histories, can't they be erased?

 

  I know she has definitely tried to fill his time so that he is not on the computer so much, but some of the activities he is involved in are about to be done and he will have even more free time.  She has suggested summer jobs and such, but really, unless it is a job with a specific set up, it won't be a good experience for him.

 

I feel bad for them because she doesn't have anyone to be a sounding board in this or other situations really, so thanks for replying to her.

[lllll]

nm 

 

Edited July 11, 2017 by tentwelve

[amy g.]

I did not check my son's browsing history. He would have seen that as a giant violation.

 

He is just a very private person. My dad was the same way so I understand that it doesn't actually mean that he has something to hide, it just means he wants his privacy respected.

 

Once when he was younger than 17, he forgot his phone in the car when I dropped him at piano lessons. Because it was an accident, the passcode wasn't set.

 

I couldn't resist doing a fast scan, and as I suspected, everything was very benign. He was posting on Nerf Gun forums and researching ways to make more money.

 

By the time he was 17, I wanted him practicing the habits he would have as an adult. There would not have been any advantage to my attempting to censor him.