small teenage boy wants to play football ... advice and suggestions?

[teachermom2834]

OK- as a poster that did allow my kid to play, the info that he has had zero interest in the game and has never even watched it is enough for me to make the parental veto. It is a high risk activity and while I did and would allow it under some circumstances, I can't imagine my kid convincing me it was important if he has never even watched a game. It is far too much risk to take on a whim.

 

It isn't as if it has always been a dream or something that has been valued by the family even for hobby or entertainment value.

[Pen]

Tough call. I played football for 10 years on championship teams. I had such passion for the game that would have undergone an unacceptable level of suffering had I been denied an opportunity to play. In later years I thanked both my parents for helping make football happen. I need it. It was good for me. Maybe even necessary. Rugby was also fun.

 

As a parent? Mixed feelings. If my boy begged me to play, it would be difficult to say no. As it is, I've steered him into Lacrosse as a way to meet the needs of my rough and tumble (but athletically lean) boy. And we've just started water polo, to fill the same niche in High School (a year after next).

 

My kid has a cross-country type body, great runners in the gene-pool, and running talents himself, but without a "team sport" element "the loneliness of the long distance runner" (even if they run in packs) wouldn't provide the right type of fun. I know this.

 

 

In our area, football has degenerated as most good families have pulled their kids out of the game due to concerns about head injuries. So on top of any concerns of my own, the "culture" here doesn't please me. If we were somewhere where there was the sort of culture that prevailed when I played, I might be more open.

 

As of now, I've steered my son toward other sports. While cherishing my own time in the game more than I can adequately express in words.

 

To specifics. A smaller, but fast, kid is likely to play wide receiver or cornerback (on defense). While it isn't impossible to take a big hit at these positions, there is less likelihood of repetitive sub-concussive hits of the sort linemen take all day long.

 

Snapping the ball for punts and field goals is a terrible position for a small guy. I did this some seasons (big guy) and one takes the worst poundings of any position on the field as far as I'm concerned.

 

My best advice if a kid is going to play, is that you get ahold of a full uniform (including a helmet) *before* playing and the boys gets used to running, rolling, falling, and popping up in advance of being on a team. There is a period of adjustment where one needs to get used to the gear (especially the helmet) and it is kids who are like "bauble-heads" that are IMO at the most risk of getting creamed.

 

Bill (one conflicted dude)

 

 

This is helpful. Yep, with the bolded and all, these are some of  the issues.  I am strongly leaning toward a no if he doesn't reach that decision himself.  But I do wish he'd reach it himself.

 

Are football helmets and uniforms hot and or heavy?

 

If yes, the helmet and uniform might be a way to get him steered away: He did fencing for awhile (another sport he is built right for and his coach in that  thought ds could actually have a career in fencing from player to coach), but ds hated fencing.  He'd gotten himself into it thinking it would be swashbuckling sword use like with light sabers in Star Wars, but found the reality of little flicks and jabs boring.  But he also hated it because he hated the hot heavy uniforms and head protectors.  I don't know if football helmets and uniforms are hot, but if they are ds would likely hate it just for that.  He tends to be a hot kid and is happy ice skating in short sleeves, goes to school in shorts in midwinter -- and we are not in So Cal.  

 

 

Maybe if he needs a team sport experience I should try to steer him toward trying basketball in winter. Even though he is short for basketball I still think he'd have a better chance of doing reasonably well at it and not ending up crippled. He wanted to play baseball, which I would have been fine with, but baseball and spring track can't both be done and he chose spring track and field over baseball.  Baseball I guess used to be a much more dangerous sport with deliberate pitches at player's heads, but seems to have mellowed out a good bit.

[Spy Car]

This is helpful. Yep, with the bolded and all, these are some of  the issues.  I am strongly leaning toward a no if he doesn't reach that decision himself.  But I do wish he'd reach it himself.

 

Are football helmets and uniforms hot and or heavy?

 

If yes, the helmet and uniform might be a way to get him steered away: He did fencing for awhile (another sport he is built right for and his coach in that  thought ds could actually have a career in fencing from player to coach), but ds hated fencing.  He'd gotten himself into it thinking it would be swashbuckling sword use like with light sabers in Star Wars, but found the reality of little flicks and jabs boring.  But he also hated it because he hated the hot heavy uniforms and head protectors.  I don't know if football helmets and uniforms are hot, but if they are ds would likely hate it just for that.  He tends to be a hot kid and is happy ice skating in short sleeves, goes to school in shorts in midwinter -- and we are not in So Cal.  

 

 

Maybe if he needs a team sport experience I should try to steer him toward trying basketball in winter. Even though he is short for basketball I still think he'd have a better chance of doing reasonably well at it and not ending up crippled. He wanted to play baseball, which I would have been fine with, but baseball and spring track can't both be done and he chose spring track and field over baseball.  Baseball I guess used to be a much more dangerous sport with deliberate pitches at player's heads, but seems to have mellowed out a good bit.

 

Yes, football helmets and uniforms are hot and heavy. I played in a hot valley of LA where summer temps easily soared into the 100s during our summer conditioning programs, including the notorious "Hell Week" where we had two-a-day practices, basically going all day (save a two-hour break mid-day).

 

In those type conditions, hydrating is important as deaths can occur otherwise.

 

But yeah. Pads are hot and heavy.

 

Football workouts (at least the ones of my youth) are very (very) intense. I loved it. But it isn't for everyone.

 

Bill

[Caroline]

Every year in our area it seems that we have at least one death during football practice. There are very strict regulations on how much time can be spent in pads outside depending on temperature. But, to be fair, every once in a while, we have a marching band death, too. They aren't so tightly regulated.

 

One football game this fall our worst medical problem was a marching band kid who had to be taken off the field in an ambulance after fainting and being marched over. Because who would stop marching just because a trumpet player was down?

 

But yes, football pads and helmets are hot and stinky.

 

 

Yes, football helmets and uniforms are hot and heavy. I played in a hot valley of LA where summer temps easily soared into the 100s during our summer conditioning programs, including the notorious "Hell Week" where we had two-a-day practices, basically going all day (save a two-hour break mid-day).

 

In those type conditions, hydrating is important as deaths can occur otherwise.

 

But yeah. Pads are hot and heavy.

 

Football workouts (at least the ones of my youth) are very (very) intense. I loved it. But it isn't for everyone.

 

Bill

Edited June 11, 2017 by Caroline

[Spy Car]

Every year in our area it seems that we have at least one death during football practice. There are very strict regulations on how much time can be spent in pads outside depending on temperature. But, to be fair, every once in a while, we have a matching bad death, too. They aren't so tightly regulated.

 

One football game this fall our worst medical problem was a marching band kid who had to be taken off the field in an ambulance after fainting and being marched over. Because who would stop marching just because a trumpet player was down?

 

But yes, football pads and helmets are hot and stinky.

 

 

 

We prefer to say they are imbued with the well-earned aroma of manly virtue.

 

And that's it—I'm vetoing marching band.

 

Bill

[Laurie4b]

My ds who wanted to play was a hulking linebacker type. We said no because of the risk for head injury. He says he wishes he had played, and it doesn't bother me at all. I think we made the right decision. So does his fiance who is a nurse.

 

I don't support football in any way. I think it's tragic what happens to so many players. If the rules can't be changed we should allow the sport to die out. I wish headers would be outlawed in soccer, too. There is just no reason to knowingly put people's ability to think at significant risk. 

[Pen]

Are there rules (official or just standard etiquette) against high school coaches from one sport recruiting players from out of another?

 

I did not communicate with ds's coaches, but ds said that the head track coach (XL and spring) who is normally very mellow and nice yelled at the new football coach for stealing his runners.  This was at the first day of football camp, and ds decided he was not properly dressed and so was watching from a bench.  I gather he was glad not to be  personally involved.

 

 

[Catwoman]

I just learned/realized that ds has never seen football played. We have never been to a game. Since the school did not have a team he has not even seen practice happening. We don't have TV. This is really about a new coach recruiting and making it sound like fun, and some of ds's friends signing up, so he wants to. And maybe also teenage rebellion since it was the one sport I had put on his paperwork he was not allowed to play. But he has very little realistic concept what it is all about.

I was thinking he was already a big football fan and that's why he wanted to play.

 

Under the circumstances you just described, I can't figure out why you're having even the slightest qualm about just saying no. :confused:

 

 

 

(Edited for typo.:) )

Edited June 13, 2017 by Catwoman

[Pen]

I was thinking he was already a big football fan and that's why he wanted to play.

 

Under the circumstances you just described, I can't figure out why you're having even the slightest qualm about just saying no. :confused:

 

 

 

(Edited for typo. :) )

 

No sport ds has tried has been based on being an anything fan.  We aren't spectator sport people.  I had to explain to ice skate coach before ds's first competition that unlike most people ds has never watched TV ice skate competition and really had no idea at all what to expect.  Ice skating started with trying it at a friend's birthday party. Friends deciding they want to play football is not much different, as social tends to be ds's main motivator in such matters.

 

 

 

 

Probably 4 main reasons for not just wanting to say "no."

 

- ds tends to be rebellious, at least currently, and is more likely to want to do something just because it got a "no." Whereas other approaches are more likely to get him to think things through for himself  and thus come to what I usually find is a better decision.  Or sometimes to convince me that I am wrong and unreasonable and that he is right, or at least right enough to make a risk reasonable.  In any case, decisions that are made without it being an "I'm the boss" and you have to _______ usually seem to work better for us.  Especially at this age.  And especially with some time to work it through. If he were running into  oncoming traffic that is different because there is not time to negotiate. Something being raised in June that would not require final decisions until late August is a different matter.  There is time for both of us to learn, to think.

 

 

- my own issues with parental veto on things I wanted to do as a kid, that were thought to be too dangerous (a type of dancing, downhill snow skiing).   Not to mention knowing that at times not doing an activity left me doing other activities that I think in retrospect were perhaps more dangerous (staying home while my friends went skiing, working on building models with airplane glue that I am sure did my brain no good, rather than risk the possibility of a skiing injury). 

 

 

- I forgot number 3 while writing the above 2.  Oh. I think it was because lately he has been unmotivated generally (other than to play video games, perhaps). So showing some enthusiasm for something was not something I wanted to simply squash.  His other sports fit him well, but they came from my pushing him toward doing something like that, or at least to start they did.  Or ditto to get him to try a movie making camp, sleep away camping camp, etc. ... they've been me pushing him to try something new.  Fencing was a choice he made himself with inner motivation in 3rd grade.   It was maybe the very best fit of any sport he has tried for ability and body type, to where his coach thought he could make a career of it, but ds had misunderstood fencing to be a fun swashbuckling thing like in Ranger's Apprentice type books or some movies. He hated the real thing.   But it has been quite a number of years without motivation to try something new coming from him.  Trying new things instead of holding back is something he's talked with a therapist about.

 

 

- lack of enough information.  Especially exactly because I am from a non-football background, not being sure if I'd be being an unreasonably fearful, cautious, overprotective single mom type to say "no"  in this case ...  which is why I posted here to get more responses and input from people.   Some websites I looked on put football behind basketball for injuries, , and I'd be okay with basketball.  

[snowbeltmom]

I just learned/realized that ds has never seen football played.  We have never been to a game. Since the school did not have a team he has not even seen practice happening. We don't have TV. This is really about a new coach recruiting and making it sound like fun, and some of ds's friends signing up, so he wants to. And maybe also teenage rebellion since it was the one sport I had put on his paperwork he was not allowed to play.  But he has very little realistic concept what it is all about.

Did the football coach have access to this paperwork?  If so, I would not be happy that he recruited your son knowing that you do not want him playing the sport.

 

Fwiw, my son asked many times over the years for me to permit him to play football.  I always told him no, which I hated doing.  He was never happy with me at the time, but he would get over it.  The risk of serious injury is just too great in football.  

[Pen]

Did the football coach have access to this paperwork?  If so, I would not be happy that he recruited your son knowing that you do not want him playing the sport.

 

Fwiw, my son asked many times over the years for me to permit him to play football.  I always told him no, which I hated doing.  He was never happy with me at the time, but he would get over it.  The risk of serious injury is just too great in football.  

 

 

I don't know about paperwork access or not.  He won't officially be teaching or coaching till next year, so may not yet have access to paperwork.  OTOH, he is using the school grounds for the camp, and it is advertised along with the expected schedule of football games for next year on fliers pinned up around the school including at the school office.

 

 

In any case, ds decided not to participate in the camp.  Looking at how many kids are there for the camp,  I am doubtful they will have enough for a team once again.  Which would make the issue moot for everyone.  Which IMO would be for the best.

[Spy Car]

No sport ds has tried has been based on being an anything fan.  We aren't spectator sport people.  I had to explain to ice skate coach before ds's first competition that unlike most people ds has never watched TV ice skate competition and really had no idea at all what to expect.  Ice skating started with trying it at a friend's birthday party. Friends deciding they want to play football is not much different, as social tends to be ds's main motivator in such matters.

 

 

Same here. My son had never seen Lacrosse played on TV before playing himself (for the past 5 years) and hasn't really watched many games that he hasn't been in since.

 

I bet he was the only kid in LA who played hockey who had not seen the Kings win the Stanley Cup. And now he's playing Water Polo (and you guessed it).

 

Playing a sport has zero to do with being a spectator of the game on TV.

 

Bill