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Looking BTDT Reporting Adult Abuse


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Yes, not elder, but develomentally disabled adult who had been taken advantage of by her father for years & had 2 children with him, who were in foster care.

 

I didn't report it, a doctor did for us.

 

But nothing was investigated. Nada, zip.

 

I'm sorry you have to, but encourage you to try.

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I came very close, after being advised to do so by an attorney close to the elderly person, but an alternative path of action presented itself before I actually made the call.

 

Here was my sticking point - I found it very difficult to look beyond the reporting stage to the remedy stage. Something would eventually have to be done to provide care and protection, and I could not be sure that those provisions would be satisfactorily made if all I did was call (though that IS a huge important step when necessary). So I contacted some out of town relatives of the elder and worked with them to jump directly to a more permanent fix. Thankfully the family members had necessary legal documents to intervene, but had not simply because no one realized the level of abuse before I brought it to their attention.

 

Sorry that I am also being vague, but I guess I'm encouraging you to look forward a bit at see if you can imagine where the elder might end up after the report, not to discourage abuse from being reported, but to consider that your truly effectual involvement might include more than a call. Not that you'd be obligated, just consider whether or not you're willing. Does that make sense?

 

Personally I wonder if these calls that appear to receive no action on the part of Elder Services are actually considered, but the authorities just don't have alternative care to provide (i.e., are there foster homes for elders as there are for children removed from abusive homes? I don't think so, I've never heard of one). Nursing home financing is tricky and not guaranteed. I imagine there are all kinds of difficulties.

 

My heart hurts to think that as our population ages, and lifespans increase, the need for eldercare is going to continue to grow, while at the same time public services are stretched more thin. I have great respect for so many of you here that have spent time caring for your elders, helping them with needs physically, financially and emotionally. Strained relationships make this so difficult, not everyone has ideal parental relationships (check the annual I hate Mother's Day thread!), and meeting the needs of one's own spouse and children cannot become secondary, as often the main caregiver also has the need for spending time at an income generating job. I am really touched by those of you who have concerns for your elderly neighbors, and are willing to go beyond ignoring abusive/neglectful/dangerous situations.

 

Sorry OP, I'm just rambling now. I wish you the best, and hope that whomever you contact will be both responsive and actually helpful.

Edited by Seasider
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Yes, not elder, but develomentally disabled adult who had been taken advantage of by her father for years & had 2 children with him, who were in foster care.

 

I didn't report it, a doctor did for us.

 

But nothing was investigated. Nada, zip.

 

I'm sorry you have to, but encourage you to try.

Nothing?! That is horrible!

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Yes, but since the elder in question would not let the social worker into the house and told him at the door that she was fine, nothing happened. We had to move her into my house since we couldn't get the abuser to leave hers. By the time we got the county to issue and enforce a restraining order without her cooperation (several months), she passed away. I was only able to convince her to move out to my place because her home health care workers told her they would not visit unless she did (they were able to say this because the abuser was a personal safety risk to the workers as well as to the elder). It turned out she had a very happy last few months with us and we didn't regret having her at our house at all.

Edited by Ms.Ivy
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