school17777 Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 For maybe the second or third time this year, I am trying to get all my kids home for dinner and I invited my parents over (they are divorced). My mom is excited and is planning on coming. Just got an email from my dad that he is hurt and insulted that I didn't send the email to my step-mother as she is the one who makes their social plans. I thought when I sent it to my dad, that he shared it with her. She has never sent me an email or phoned to invite us over, my dad is the one who does that, IF we get invited. (We are generally not invited to HER family events.) I have no idea when all my kids will be together again, maybe not until Thanksgiving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 hugs... I'm sorry he's being difficult. Who cares who invited with a married couple!??!! Okay, that's probably not helpful..... Can you say what you just wrote here? It seems to make sense that he would be your go-to person for invitations. I'm sure you can phrase it in such a way that it doesn't sound like you're being snarky. ie: don't say "*she* never invites us. " Again.. hugs. It will be his loss if he decides this is the reason he won't come to your house for dinner. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I agree with PrincessMommy, If this really matters to you, I would suggest you call your dad and explain your reasoning for sending the invite to him (without rancor) and offer an apology for any perceived slight (but don't admit any wrongdoing). Explain how much this means to you and offer to talk to your step mother if he thinks that will help and see if they will come. I think he is being ridiculous for expecting you to go through step mom if that is not something you already always do but to preserve the peace I'd call. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 I'm at the point in life where I'd shrug and say "Sorry you won't be joining us". 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 I'd probably email an apology for not realizing that you hurt their feelings. In the big picture you probably just want them there and apologizing over something stupid is not a big deal to me. I'd just be pretty casual about it- oh dad, it never crossed my mind that I needed to send it to stepmom. Sorry about that- hey, can you bring rolls to the dinner? Of course, I SAID apologizing isn't a big deal and it's not but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't need to vent about it to dh a few times to get it out of my system. Because when adults act like junior high school girls it annoys me. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
school17777 Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 hugs... I'm sorry he's being difficult. Who cares who invited with a married couple!??!! Okay, that's probably not helpful..... Can you say what you just wrote here? It seems to make sense that he would be your go-to person for invitations. I'm sure you can phrase it in such a way that it doesn't sound like you're being snarky. ie: don't say "*she* never invites us. " Again.. hugs. It will be his loss if he decides this is the reason he won't come to your house for dinner. I did already send an email basically saying what I said here, expect I DID say that she never invites us, either by phone or email. The more I think about it, the more irritated I get. When my step-father was alive, I only sent an email to my mom, not to both of them. I only send an email to my fil, because he tells mil about it (most of the time!), (mil does not reliably check her email). So, out of the three sets of parents, only one email is sent to each set. Don't know why after all these years I am just hearing that it is insulting and hurtful to do it this way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 I did already send an email basically saying what I said here, expect I DID say that she never invites us, either by phone or email. The more I think about it, the more irritated I get. When my step-father was alive, I only sent an email to my mom, not to both of them. I only send an email to my fil, because he tells mil about it (most of the time!), (mil does not reliably check her email). So, out of the three sets of parents, only one email is sent to each set. Don't know why after all these years I am just hearing that it is insulting and hurtful to do it this way. I get it. He's being unreasonable and thin-skinned. Hugs. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 It sounds like he's determined to be hurt and insulted. That's his problem, not yours. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 As my son would say "This sounds like a him problem." Life is too short. Call him up and tell him you are sorry he is hurt but there was no slight intended. Hope you can make it. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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