So who talks to their husband like Kate does to Jon (tv show)?

[melissel]

To be completely honest, when I first watched the show, I cringed at her harshness, not just because it was harsh, but because I identified with her lack of self-control. I can not justify my behavior, though I have learned that if I have not gotten enough sleep, food, quiet...things that disappear when children enter the equation...I can quickly go into -itchy mode. Thankfully I have a wonderful dh who gently calls me on it when I head down this path, and I take action to pull the reigns in. It is very unfortunate that one of the things in my childhood that I definitely wanted to leave behind--the tone of voice and harsh rants my mother would sometimes attack with--are things I have to fight against most.

 

I could have written this exact post, just switching father for mother.

 

And I do agree with the poster who mentioned the editing. You're only watching snippets of their lives, cobbled together in one half hour show. If we know anything about TV culture, it's that train wrecks garner ratings.

[Rhonda in TX]

I don't know what I would do if I had eight kids. I would hope that I would not talk to anyone the way she SOMETIMES talks to him, but since I'm not perfect, I'm not going to say I would never do that. Walk a mile in her shoes then think about the question again. It's so easy to throw stones or to criticize other people, and it's also really ugly. Are you guys saying that you've never, ever said an unkind, unflattering word to your spouse?

 

When I get stressed, I'm really not very nice to those around me. And having six preschoolers? I'd be stressed out of my mind! I'm not saying it's okay, but I definitely can't judge her based on that.

 

If you watch later episodes, you can see that they are trying to change how they speak to each other.

[Dawn E]

Thought some of you might enjoy this in light of our discussion. It had me in tears.

Jon and Kate on The Soup

[FriedClams]

I used to watch the show and don't anymore.

 

* Kate's rude to Jon and ugly in her tone - without regard to him or if the kids are around. She makes excuses for it all the time. I don't think she shows him respect - and if I don't hang out with people IRL who don't respect their husbands, then I won't watch them on TV anymore.

 

* She creates a TON of the stress herself (always perfect looking matching clothes, all organic food, no processed food ever, preschool over an hour away from home, perfect shoes and hair...) so IMHO she has no one to be ugly with but herself. It would be one thing if he weren't helpful with life in general - but nagging and degrading becuase he's messing up her way of doing the perfect hair or because they're late for preschool too far away or becuase the kids need to change one more time before leaving to look perfect - that's inexcusable.

 

* She rolls her eyes (on the show - which is all we see) at her older DDs attitude and behavior issues - all of which need to be addressed. The mom shrugs a lot "That's just ...". I just couldn't watch that poor girl's issues be swept away any longer (or appear to be on tv - they may be addressing it perfectly off camera - I just feel badly watching her struggle so much and calling it "entertainment").

 

* It's a marketing machine now - and it's no longer watching a nice family make it through life together and cheering them on in their normalcy, flaws and all. Last show they went to a Phillies game - free. They sat in a sky box, met the president, played on the field, were given free personalized shirts and new toys, met players, hung with the VPs kids... Please. It's no longer interesting to see them do life together when life is being handed to them and you feel like a pawn watching it. Yes, I am sure it's hard with 8 kids - but I have friends with 8 kids and they would love those experiences - and they would do it with much more grateful responses and better behavior. Also - the "Lets watch the kids play with these new XXXX brand toys I got... WOW! The kids love them!!" on the show makes me ill.

 

So, I used to love it. I wanted them to win and I cheered them on. They seem - if you could seperate them from tv-world - like they'd be a great family to hang out with. I applaud their pro-life decisions and I want to see large families in a good light these days. I still hope the best for them - I just don't chose to watch them do it anymore.

[ma23peas]

I used to watch the show and don't anymore.

 

* Kate's rude to Jon and ugly in her tone - more.

 

* She creates a TON of the stress herself

 

* She rolls her eyes

 

* It's a marketing machine now -

 

So, I used to love it. I wanted them to win and I cheered them on.

 

 

One thing I have heard them say is that they are not the perfect parents they'd envision for themselves...but they're doing what they can with what they will...

 

On that note, I will say, I don't watch the show regularly (probably have seen 10 episodes) but when I do watch them I do so with my children (ages 9-13)...we find it very helpful to use this as a tool to show my children tips on how to babysit...you've got pretty much every kind of personality you would see in a child on that show (I was a nanny right out of college and probably cared for more than 300 children in 2 years..not to mention 5 years of babysitting in high school)...and it helps me question my own children, "Okay, what would you have done if Maddie did that?"....it's actually excellent training.

 

I also remind myself that it's an edited 30 minute program...some of what they throw onto us is for 'shock' value and for ratings, if someone followed me around that many hours, I'm sure they could create any number of views of what our family is really all about. I think they're doing a better job with 8 children of those ages than the majority of families would...are they perfect? no..but they try.

 

Tara

[Country Mouse]

It's a marketing machine now - and it's no longer watching a nice family make it through life together and cheering them on in their normalcy, flaws and all. Last show they went to a Phillies game - free. They sat in a sky box, met the president, played on the field, were given free personalized shirts and new toys, met players, hung with the VPs kids... Please. It's no longer interesting to see them do life together when life is being handed to them and you feel like a pawn watching it. Yes, I am sure it's hard with 8 kids - but I have friends with 8 kids and they would love those experiences - and they would do it with much more grateful responses and better behavior. Also - the "Lets watch the kids play with these new XXXX brand toys I got... WOW! The kids love them!!" on the show makes me ill.

 

This is what gets me. Once they started advertising products ON their show I was pretty much disgusted.

[CAMom]

I also remind myself that it's an edited 30 minute program...some of what they throw onto us is for 'shock' value and for ratings, if someone followed me around that many hours, I'm sure they could create any number of views of what our family is really all about. I think they're doing a better job with 8 children of those ages than the majority of families would...are they perfect? no..but they try.

 

 

 

I read this, or variations of it, all the time. But if I watched myself on TV week after week after week and the producers were always making me look like I didn't respect my husband or that I was so "type A" that I was driving everyone nuts, I wouldn't subject myself to being filmed anymore.

 

It's not like they don't know how they're being portrayed. They've been on for a long time and they let it continue.:confused:

[Guest janainaz]

I'm definitely guilty at times - if I'm stressed. I asked my dh if I'm as bad as her and he said, "no". I think he does not notice because he's been putting up with me for 14 years and just tunes me out. He does not take my moods seriously and if I'm in that mode he takes the boys and leaves the house!

 

I can't imagine having 6 kids the same age, plus two other ones. I've understood why she gets that way - she's stressed and I think Jon knows that. I don't really look at it like he's whimpy - but the opposite. I think for what they have on their plate, they're doing well. As for the media and all of that, it's helping them do things they would never be able to do and probably helping Kate see herself as others do. I bet she's embarrassed sometimes.