Type A, boxed thinking parent - need a change

[bfw0729]

I want to cross post this in the high school forum because I would like to gain the advice of parents who schooled their children in a relaxed environment and STILL their children did well in college. 

 

I do incorporate a more Charlotte Mason approach, but tend to make sure the kids finish all that's needed for the day. I am a box checker and have certain goals in mind for my children; both daily and long term goals. I come from the perspective that my children will benefit greatly from the time/effort I put into them during the early years. I have high expectations for my kids - I finished a doctorate degree and was mostly a straight A student and I find myself wanting my children to have as many opportunities as possible. If they are given lots of doors of opportunities and decide to become an illustrator, then I'm ok with that. My kids are very typical kids. My husband and I are very typical learners as well. 

 

The reason for my post is our days have turned into monotonous, predictable days. I have become a crazy box checker and our days are about 6 hours longs, not including breaks, etc... I have two fourth graders and a third grader. I also have a preschooler and baby. Math is very important to us - I guess I consider us a mathy family. My husband and I were math majors. Anyway, I expect all of our children to go to college and for them to take at a minimum precalculus in high school. They all are in Singapore Math and are doing fairly well. Math takes about an hour a day. I would like to outline our current day below. 

 

Currently

Singapore Math - 1 hour ( five days a week) - although try to use one of those days using Life of Fred

R&S English - 45 min (four days a week)

Writing With Ease - 15-30 min (four days a week)

MFW Science, Geography, and Bible - 2 hours (four days a week)

R&S Spelling - 15 min (five days a week)

Cursive - 10 min (three days a week)

Journal Writing - 15 min (twice a week)

Math Drill - 10 min (twice a week)

Reading Aloud - 45 min (five days a week)

Silent Reading - 30 min (five days a week)

 

Here's the type of day I would LOVE to have for two of the ten months in a school year....

 

Read aloud to my children great literature covering English, History, and Science - 2 hours (daily)

Journal Writing on anything they want on a daily basis 

Singapore Math - 1 hour (five days a week with Life of Fred sprinkled in there)

Silent Reading - 30 min (daily)

 

That's it!!! No spelling, no English, no cursive, no math drill. No MFW Science, History, Bible. I spoke with a mother recently whose approach resembles the latter option. She reads aloud to them (or uses audible), the children write in their journals daily, and they work on math daily. That's it! I asked her if she's concerned about not covering certain aspects of academia like the Language Arts. She said she wasn't concerned and that reading aloud to children 2 to 3 hours a day covers the essentials and that it's enough. She said the children learn a great deal in this lower-stress, open environment and they do very well in college. 

 

I'm looking for advice from parents who have been there done that. Have you schooled from a more relaxed state, reading aloud to your kids several hours a day and later those children became excellent college students? I am so interested in trying this approach, but I'm afraid of letting go of all the boxed thinking.  

Edited March 8, 2017 by bfw0729

[Ellie]

I want to cross post this in the high school forum because I would like to gain the advice of parents who schooled their children in a relaxed environment and STILL their children did well in college. 

 

I do incorporate a more Charlotte Mason approach, but tend to make sure the kids finish all that's needed for the day. I am a box checker and have certain goals in mind for my children; both daily and long term goals. I come from the perspective that my children will benefit greatly from the time/effort I put into them during the early years. I have high expectations for my kids - I finished a doctorate degree and was mostly a straight A student and I find myself wanting my children to have as many opportunities as possible. If they are given lots of doors of opportunities and decide to become an illustrator, then I'm ok with that. My kids are very typical kids. My husband and I are very typical learners as well. 

 

The reason for my post is our days have turned into monotonous, predictable days. I have become a crazy box checker and our days are about 6 hours longs, not including breaks, etc... I have two fourth graders and a third grader. I also have a preschooler and baby. Math is very important to us - I guess I consider us a mathy family. My husband and I were math majors. Anyway, I expect all of our children to go to college and for them to take at a minimum precalculus in high school. They all are in Singapore Math and are doing fairly well. Math takes about an hour a day. I would like to outline our current day below. 

 

Currently

Singapore Math - 1 hour ( five days a week) - although try to use one of those days using Life of Fred

R&S English - 45 min (four days a week)

Writing With Ease - 15-30 min (four days a week)

MFW Science, Geography, and Bible - 2 hours (four days a week)

R&S Spelling - 15 min (five days a week)

Cursive - 10 min (three days a week)

Journal Writing - 15 min (twice a week)

Math Drill - 10 min (twice a week)

Reading Aloud - 45 min (five days a week)

Silent Reading - 30 min (five days a week)

 

Here's the type of day I would LOVE to have for two of the ten months in a school year....

 

Read aloud to my children great literature covering English, History, and Science - 2 hours (daily)

Journal Writing on anything they want on a daily basis 

Singapore Math - 1 hour (five days a week with Life of Fred sprinkled in there)

Silent Reading - 30 min (daily)

 

That's it!!! No spelling, no English, no cursive, no math drill. No MFW Science, History, Bible. I spoke with a mother recently whose approach resembles the latter option. She reads aloud to them (or uses audible), the children write in their journals daily, and they work on math daily. That's it! I asked her if she's concerned about not covering certain aspects of academia like the Language Arts. She said she wasn't concerned and that reading aloud to children 2 to 3 hours a day covers the essentials and that it's enough. She said the children learn a great deal in this lower-stress, open environment and they do very well in college. 

 

I'm looking for advice from parents who have been there done that. Have you schooled from a more relaxed state, reading aloud to your kids several hours a day and later those children became excellent college students? I am so interested in trying this approach, but I'm afraid of letting go of all the boxed thinking.  

 

We started homeschooling when I withdrew my older dd from a private Christian school during Easter break of first grade, a month or so before her seventh birthday. Younger dd was not quite three years old. Because I was convinced that older dd was burned out, I decided to do nothing that looked like school for...well, indefinitely. And so we didn't. We started a Camp Fire club with the only two homeschooling families I knew and that was about it. Eventually I came to this schedule:

 

Monday & Tuesday: official school days

I put out anything that looked like Official School Stuff on the kitchen table and we stayed home. No crafts or sewing or telephone conversations for me, no field trips or doctor appointments or errands or nothin'. Just...stay home. Sometimes dc would do their Official School Stuff, sometimes not.

 

Wednesday

Library. Eventually, when there were more homeschooling families and we were part of a support group, sometimes I'd drop by someone's home after the library and we'd goof off, but there was nothing regularly scheduled except library.

 

Thursday

Field trip. Sometimes we worked on a Camp Fire badge, or we'd do something I'd read about in a local newspaper; sometimes we invited a few friends to go with us, but mostly just us. I didn't do field trips with my support group unless it was on Thursday or it was awesome and needed a large group of people.

 

Friday

Clean house (including laundry). Park day once a month.

 

We had dance lessons, soccer a couple of years, 4-H in the late afternoon or early evening, never, ever during the day.

 

Younger dd was not reading at her age level until she was 9 1/2.

 

We never finished a math book, or an English book. We did Vol 2 KONOS for two years, but mostly we just did field trips and read books and stuff.

 

Both dds began taking classes at the community college when they were 14. Both graduated with very high GPAs (I think younger dd's was something like 3.98); older dd transferred to the state university and earned a degree in English Lit; younger dd decided not to go on to college (long story, which includes teaching ballet).

 

So that's my story. :-)

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Edited to add: Not sure what happened to my quote...OP, your post is in black, and my reply is in purple.

 

"I would like to outline our current day below. 

 

Currently

Singapore Math - 1 hour ( five days a week)

R&S English - 45 min (four days a week)

Writing With Ease - 15-30 min (four days a week)

MFW Science, Geography, and Bible - 2 hours (four days a week)

R&S Spelling - 15 min (five days a week)

Cursive - 10 min (three days a week)

Journal Writing - 15 min (twice a week)

Math Drill - 10 min (twice a week)

Reading Aloud - 45 min (five days a week)

Silent Reading - 30 min (five days a week)

 

Here's the type of day I would LOVE to have for two of the ten months in a school year....

 

Read aloud to my children great literature covering English, History, and Science - 2 hours (daily)

Journal Writing on anything they want on a daily basis 

Singapore Math - 1 hour (five days a week with Life of Fred sprinkled in there)

Silent Reading - 30 min (daily)"

 

 

If you do List A very diligently for eight months, and then do List B very diligently for two months, and take two months off completely, your children will be very, very rigorously educated, and very well-prepared. The comparative downtime of List B, plus the two months of break, will actually help them get through the List A months.

 

The truth is that you could probably just do List A for sixth months, and let them follow their own interests the other HALF of the year (maybe steering them toward some math games, and going to the library frequently), and still achieve your goals of college-prep rigor!

 

I say this as a person who has always been very diligent about school. We worked hard, and my adult children's success testifies to the rigor of their education. But the space around the work, where they think their own thoughts and just read, read, read...that's a necessary part of the formula.

 

Edited March 8, 2017 by Tibbie Dunbar

[8filltheheart]

I am a type A personality who has high achieving kids. My older kids have been successful in high school, college, and careers. I am also a parent who believes that the point of primary and elementary education is create a strong foundation of essential skills (reading, math, writing) and to instill a sense of wonder and curiosity about the world around them that they have to ability to explore and discover. I am also intensely focused on developing higher order critical thinking skills. (For young kids I believe imaginative play does far more to develop higher order thinking skills than academics. I want my young kids playing for long hours every day.)

 

My kids' academic day length approximates 1 hr per grade level. K=1 hr, 1st=1 1/2 hrs, 2nd=2 to 21/2 hrs, etc. Middle school is 6-8 hrs and high school is typically anywhere from 7-10 hrs (depends on the day, the yr, and the child. I have had high schoolers taking 10 credits.)

 

I disagree with the philosophy of your friend. My ultimate goal is for my kids to take ownership over their own lives and find their passions to pursue into adulthood. I work with my kids to find subjects they want to study and then we do. The freedom to explore content areas has led my kids to develop high levels of achievement by high school graduation. I am also not a fan of journaling. I want to teach my kids proper writing structure vs. stream of consciousness writing.

 

Teaching skills across content also works to make days shorter. I teach grammar and writing through copywork when they are younger and then continue that pattern through editing their writing with them.

 

ETA: We are not textbook people. In elementary school the only texts we use are math and some foreign language.

Edited March 8, 2017 by 8FillTheHeart

[Miss Tick]

 

Currently

Singapore Math - 1 hour ( five days a week) - although try to use one of those days using Life of Fred

R&S English - 45 min (four days a week)

Writing With Ease - 15-30 min (four days a week)

MFW Science, Geography, and Bible - 2 hours (four days a week)

R&S Spelling - 15 min (five days a week)

Cursive - 10 min (three days a week)

Journal Writing - 15 min (twice a week)

Math Drill - 10 min (twice a week)

Reading Aloud - 45 min (five days a week)

Silent Reading - 30 min (five days a week)

 

 

Your current schedule looks very LA heavy. WWE and R&S English are both writing programs, no? I would drop one of those and make journal writing optional.

 

I don't have btdt to offer like Ellie, Tibbie, and 8, but I'm thinking that perhaps you can find a middle ground by streamlining what you currently do.

 

If they aren't free readers by choice, perhaps the assigned reading could cover some of your history or science at the same time?

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Your current schedule looks very LA heavy. WWE and R&S English are both writing programs, no? I would drop one of those and make journal writing optional.

 

I don't have btdt to offer like Ellie, Tibbie, and 8, but I'm thinking that perhaps you can find a middle ground by streamlining what you currently do.

 

If they aren't free readers by choice, perhaps the assigned reading could cover some of your history or science at the same time?

 

R&S - It's a full English course, but SWB recommends skipping the writing lessons and just doing the grammar lessons. So if the OP is doing that (it's what I've always done, too), then she's got grammar/usage/mechanics with R&S, and composition with WWE.

[....]

I have a couple of thoughts...

 

I'm probably going to get tomatoes thrown at me on this forum, but I've posted about my sister a couple of times on here.  She basically unschooled high school (they didn't call it that, but that's what they were doing) and my sister ended up graduating from a top tier law school (actually a really well-known one).  She currently has her own law practice. 

 

Another thought - your kids are 4th grade, 3rd grade, preschool + baby.  I'm really relaxed with school until my kids are about 7th grade.  Then, we swing in the other direction.  From my perspective, you could follow your relaxed school schedule for several years and be just fine.  At that point, you all might feel like it's time to kick school up a notch.  *shrug*

 

   

[Alice]

My oldest is in 8th grade so I can't fully say if our approach "worked" in terms of getting into or succeeding in college. 

 

I'm a sort of reformed box-checker. By nature I'm very much a planner and maker of lists. I worried a lot more when my oldest was in elementary school about getting everything in. I wanted to make sure we were rigorous. 

 

Overtime my attitude has changed a bit.

*One thing I've realized is that for me part of the benefit of homeschooling is to be able to be more relaxed. We can't replicate what is done in public schools and some things my kids miss out on ( organized band or choir, computer lab resources, etc). But I can give them freedom in their days that most of the public and private school kids in our area don't have. So over time I've made sure we do more field trips, spend more time outside on beautiful weather days, let them read for fun when they have gotten really engaged in a book, give them time to work on their own projects. 

 

*I've also started looking more at what I want them each to get out of a year rather than a day. We make yearly goals and then I try and work towards those goals. If we are overall making progress towards our goals I don't worry as much if we don't get every single thing done each day. 

 

*Every kid is different. I have two kids who are similar to me and who would do fine in a public school environment. I have one kid who hates anything remotely "schoolish". The more I can make his day relaxed, the more he will learn. 

 

*I've realized that "relaxed" doesn't have to mean "school lite". A lot of it is about making it the family norm to spend your time learning about things even when it's not something you are calling "school". 

 

* I also talked to more and more people of high schoolers who all said that it only gets harder and to that they wished they had been more relaxed in elementary school. I'm not sure I've met anyone who every said they wished they had done more formal school in the primary years. 

 

Our rough schedule: 

M, T, W:
Math, Latin, and LA for everyone. For my 2nd grader LA is Spelling, Cursive, WWE and Practice Island. For my 5th grader it is W&R Narrative and MCT Grammar. For my 8th grader it's just reading what I've assigned, discussing and writing. 

 

Thurs: Co-Op in the morning which is mostly non-academic (drama, art, choir, Lego Mechanics, a book club, etc). 

 

Fri: About halfway through this year I started to feel that our schedule was too monotonous and the fun stuff was always getting pushed aside. So Friday has become the day we finish work we didn't do earlier in the week if needed. They do Math but it is usually something lighter or more fun. We read more. We do Art. We do a family teatime with reading and poetry. We are more likely to do field trips on Friday. 

 

We also do Science and History once or twice a week, typically on Tues and Fridays. 

 

My oldest is in 8th grade this year and his workload has increased. He does some other subjects (Civics, Logic) and he tends to work more hours than the others. He and I meet on T and Fri for longer discussions.