I need to reduce the load

[bethben]

This will be for my upcoming 7th grader for next year.  I have him in an enrichment co-op because he's my child that really needs to get outside of his comfort zone a bit and interact with others.  I am not a homeschooler who feels the need for co-ops and would rather avoid them, but because of who this child is, part of his education needs to be interaction with others more ofter.  So, technically, we homeschool 4 days a week.  He is also a child who will find and take the path of least resistance so he needs external motivation.

 

To add to the mix (along with the will be 4th grader), I have my oldest son with special needs that requires constant care and now a new slew of doctor/therapy appointments.  He will be most likely home full time as he is aging out of the public school system as we know it right now.  My ds#2 is an independent learner and will be taking full dual enrollment next year.  That is his choice and he's motivated to succeed.  I need to make things count with ds#3.

 

Here's my non-negotiables (at least for subject - curriculum can change):

 

Math - pre-algebra (mostly do on his own - I grade and teach the lesson)

Science (mostly do on his own - enrichment time will do the labs for the curriculum)

reading (also on his own - my goal here is to have him enjoy reading)

history  (tapestry of grace)

English/Writing (I have been doing an online class through the Potter's school --literature discussion is with enrichment class)

Foreign Language ( I would like to do this, but the effort on my part to make sure he makes the effort on his part makes this one class that may not get done until he gets more internally motivated)

 

My big conflict is the History and English.  History takes a lot of effort from me - mostly because he needs that external motivation to actually try to find answers to questions from the text and somewhat because he seems like he needs to learn how to comprehend the text a bit more (me cajoling and teaching him how)

 

English - Even though he has been doing an online class, he still needs so.much.help figuring out what he's supposed to do.  My goal with the online class was to free up one subject that I had to teach.  So far, this has been harder for me and not a burden release.  I have been trying to get him to be a bit more independent but it's a slow slow slow path we're on actually learning that.  So, I wind up helping him interpret what he's supposed to do and keep up with the motivation to actually do a good job. He can do it, but again, he tries to find the easy path which means, "Mom can help me so I don't have to figure it out."  I'm on to him in this aspect and am working at finding out that balance of what is just enough.  He needs to learn how to self motivate to learn.  We've been going at this for a semester and I don't feel like he's make any progress in owning the class and the work required.

 

So, just trying to get this child  to the next level of actually trying to do his best and trying without taking the easy mom way out is exhausting me and I am fighting too many battles and really need to get a little easier for me without compromising his learning.   

 

Suggestions?  I've thought about dropping the online English class for next year, but I would need to replace it with something. I'm open to a simpler history also.

 

 

[OneStepAtATime]

Could he have some Executive Function issues going on?  Might he need a study skills class?  Studying skills are not always developed intuitively.  Sometimes kids need them explicitly taught, systematically, with lots of repetition and reinforcement and consistency before they internalize the process.

 

I realize that with your situation you really need him functioning independently but a lot of middle schoolers are not there yet.  They still need instruction and interaction and reinforcement and external scaffolding.  It doesn't sound like your son is there yet.  If he were in school he wouldn't be expected to function independently either.  He would see his teachers and interact with his teachers for hours every day.

 

Maybe for history you could ditch the program you are using and just do some interest led material.  Maybe he could watch some documentaries and Crash Course History, possibly Alternate History Hub, and have some discussions with you.  Do history in rotation.  Maybe 2 days a week or one week on one week off or something along those lines.  Ask him to pick out a time period that he might have some interest in and find some books he could read on the subject.  Maybe a biography and a fictional history story from that time period.   Might he do better listening to audio books?  I know some kids do better if they can listen to a book, maybe even with noise canceling headsets, while they do other things.  My DS is like that.  

 

As for on-line classes, I sympathize.  I naively thought that signing them up for a couple of on-line classes meant I could take that subject off my plate for the most part.  I was wrong.  Anything where my kiddos only meet with the teacher once or twice a week required my direct involvement for years while they learned to manage their time/resources/communication.  They were not yet functioning entirely independently in Middle School for on-line classes but also sometimes the teachers were very disorganized or didn't communicate well.  I've got a college degree and a lot of life experience under my belt and there were times I was also utterly confused and had to clarify what in the world the teacher was asking for.  I had to accept that it was going to take time for my kids to learn how to do those things on their own.  

 

If you think the on-line class situation really isn't viable for next year for English, maybe what he needs is on-line but more self-pace, with daily lessons that are clearly laid out for him and give him immediate feedback.  Maybe something like Monarch or Switched on Schoolhouse or Time for Learning.  

 

Or maybe IEW with Fix-It Grammar and a literature program but those would require more input from you.  What is he struggling with for the writing class?  Maybe he actually needs something very structured, with clear expectations like IEW but a video he can watch so it is someone else teaching it like IEW SWI-B.  Fix-It Grammar is only 15 min. a day 4 days a week so it wouldn't take up much time.  It pairs well with IEW.

[birchbark]

7th-8th grades were tough around here with oldest DS. School needed to be kept very simple and git'er done. There was zero self-motivation going on, and it wore me out. Ball and chain, anyone? :)

 

What worked best for content subjects (history and science) was interest-led learning. I asked him to pick an area of study and then I requested a bunch of books from the library on that topic. I had him write a paper when done.

 

His first online class was TPS English when in 8th grade. This seemed a good age to start. I could see how a lot of scaffolding would be needed for younger ages. Would hiring a tutor for this subject be an option? Another suggestion would be to find a curriculum that is clearly laid out in daily chunks and written to the student. Write With the Best comes to mind.

 

I personally would not tackle foreign language at this point if your DS is not interested.

 

Good luck in finding the right plan!

 

[Another Lynn]

As soon as I saw TOG for history I thought if I were in your shoes, I would go simpler for that - more streamlined.  Like maybe Notgrass.

 

For English - what about an online option that doesn't have so many hoops to jump through - like TTC's online lit. discussion (without the participation grade).  You can either do writing on your own or add on their writing option.  

[kentuckymom]

I second the suggestion of Notgrass if you want to simplify history and have it be fairly independent. We're using from Adam to Us this year for 6th, and DS loves it. I don't love it like he does, but it's a solid curriculum and he's learning a lot. It just annoys me because it feels like sometimes the authors are trying to shoehorn a Christian lesson into a place where it doesn't really fit. That might not bother you. Notgrass would definitely be going in a different direction from TOG however. For middle school there's a world history survey (that's what we're doing), an American History course (America the Beautiful), and a Government and Civics course (Uncle Sam and Me). If you want to continue a history cycle you should look elsewhere.

[bethben]

Could he have some Executive Function issues going on?  Might he need a study skills class?  Studying skills are not always developed intuitively.  Sometimes kids need them explicitly taught, systematically, with lots of repetition and reinforcement and consistency before they internalize the process.

 

I realize that with your situation you really need him functioning independently but a lot of middle schoolers are not there yet.  They still need instruction and interaction and reinforcement and external scaffolding.  It doesn't sound like your son is there yet.  If he were in school he wouldn't be expected to function independently either.  He would see his teachers and interact with his teachers for hours every day.

 

 

 

I know that part of the problem is that he really needs to learn the study skills and needs to learn how to learn.  My oldest in 6th grade was at the point of independent learning.  Different kid.  I'm good with this fact.  So, I realize that he needs to learn the skills to accomplish these tasks I am giving him and am trying to ease him into these skills.  It's hard.  I know it will pay off in the end, but boy!  Is this hard!  I am considering having him take a mom-led writing course so that I can temper the speed and also re-thinking history for this child.  For a lot of the "gravy" subjects I see them not always as just learning the material well, but learning the skill needed to learn the material.  If he learns the skill of how to learn something, he can learn anything.  So, that's my main issue - teaching him the skill to learn.

[2_girls_mommy]

I think there are places where he is learning to self study and pace already- like with the science class. If it is anything like mine, the kids have a chapter to work through each week at home on their own, and they do the lab once a week at co-op with the teacher who discusses the chapter a bit as they do it. So my 7th grader does the reading and studying to stay on track with that. I do check in with her and look at her syllabus a bit. 

 

As for the history, could you find a place in the day for reading aloud once a day? Not teaching. Just reading it aloud and discussing in place of teaching? That could be the one time in the day that you sit and read to everyone for 20-30 min. Occasionally you could assign work when needed or wanted.