How do you know when to call it quits?

[OneStepAtATime]

For at least your 9 and 8 year old you might check with the school to see what math program they are using.  If you could get the ISBN you might be able to get a used copy and work through the material/concepts for this year just a bit to make sure they are on the same page and start solidly in math in the fall.

 

And if they don't already, I would start several weeks out getting the family used to rising early enough to get to school on time.  Get them in a healthy sleep cycle waaaayyy ahead of time.  It can take time for the body to adjust and you don't want those first weeks of school undermined by severe fatigue.

 

Also, maybe drive to the school during that hour to see how bad traffic is.  I was honestly shocked when I tried to drive DS to interview at a school and realized that while the drive was only 10-15 min. normally, during going to school/work traffic it was 45-hour.  Know ahead of time how long that drive may be.  Also, build in quite a bit of extra time for getting ready and out the door that first week or so.  Have everything laid out ahead of time so you know where shoes and clothes and book bags are.  :)

[Runningmom80]

By the way, note that I said, "I really loved the IDEA of homeschooling," in my previous post. In my house, I loved the ideal of homeschooling, and I loved choosing curriculum, and I loved planning, and I loved having fun ideas that I could do with my kids, and I loved loved loved the idea of turning all my children into book lovers just like myself by immersing them in so much literature. And I loved being able to structure our own time. I loved the idea that I could meet the individual needs of each of my kids in a way that the schools could not. I loved the idea of investing our family values in them while they were small. I loved that my children would be each others' best friends, and that we could build a harmonious family unit.

 

I was ALL IN. I loved it!

 

But then I was miserable. I invested my heart in it, and my kids did not respond, either academically or personally, in the ways that I hoped. I won't go into more personal details, but even though I did my best to adjust my ideas to meet their needs, and even though I was committed to be the teacher AND mom that they needed, many things were a major struggle. I decided that I could still give them the benefits of homeschooling, even though it was not going to look like my ideal, and even though it didn't end up bearing the fruit that I had hoped. So I persisted. And I persisted. And I persisted. And I became worn down, and I still persisted. And it was extremely hard.

 

This may not sound familiar to you, because your situation is likely to be very different from mine. But I just wanted to share that it can be very hard to give up on a dream that you have built your whole family life around. Even if it wasn't really a dream to start out with, but is just how your family does things. It's hard to change that. It took me a long time to be willing to change to a different way of doing things.

 

If homeschooling is not working well, for whatever reasons, be willing to make changes. Enrolling in school can be a positive change for some, and it is worth considering whether it is an option for your family.

This really resonates with me. Thank you so much for sharing.

[Meadowlark]

Wow, I have a serious problem making a decision and then sticking to it, haha. So, I just found out that the private preschool 5 minutes from us is opening up a p.m. class which will have 7-9 students. I COULD enroll my preschooler in that class and feel awesome about it. It's excellent-and I know this because my son went there last year. It will also work out well to pick up my daughter there, and then head 5 minutes the other direction and pick up the others from public school. My only concern is that this would mean I'd probably put my Kinder in Kindergarten.

 

Just last night I was telling my husband that I think I'll keep the girls home and maybe even my future 1st grader. But then today, feeling tired and slightly nauseous with 3 loads of laundry to do and dinner to make, I'm feeling like I should send them all again. Idk-hopefully time will be the answer and I can just come to a peaceful decision that I feel good about.

[AnniePoo]

That sounds like a wonderful option too.  The only drawback would be the extra drive to get her there.  I'd do it in a heartbeat though.

 

I put my kids in public school this year and it has been a very positive experience.  They are 5th, 3rd, K, and I put my 3yo in preschool twice a week.  They had been homeschooled 100% up until then.  Honestly, I wish I had put them in sooner.  It solved way more problems than it created.

 

 

[Meadowlark]

That sounds like a wonderful option too.  The only drawback would be the extra drive to get her there.  I'd do it in a heartbeat though.

 

I put my kids in public school this year and it has been a very positive experience.  They are 5th, 3rd, K, and I put my 3yo in preschool twice a week.  They had been homeschooled 100% up until then.  Honestly, I wish I had put them in sooner.  It solved way more problems than it created.

 

Yes, I agree that the driving in the middle of the day is not ideal. But-It's a super quick easy drive and I think she will really enjoy the experience. The one thing I'm worried about is having the 4 yr. old home...with me and the baby. I was alone with her last week and she pretty much expected me to turn cartwheels all day to entertain her. Uh, no. I'm not used to that-they entertain each other!  I do want to spend some special time with her of course, but if she is going to stick to me like glue all morning...hmm. How do you deal with that?

 

Thanks for posting this. I sometimes feel like things are SO hard for me to decide, but once I just DO it-it's like busting through a door and then seeing a beautiful view. I sure hope it's like that. I can't stop thinking about my shy 1st grader in a class of 27 though, but I guess I'll just have to get over that if I want this to happen. Thanks again!

Edited February 2, 2017 by Meadowlark

[OneStepAtATime]

Wow, I have a serious problem making a decision and then sticking to it, haha. So, I just found out that the private preschool 5 minutes from us is opening up a p.m. class which will have 7-9 students. I COULD enroll my preschooler in that class and feel awesome about it. It's excellent-and I know this because my son went there last year. It will also work out well to pick up my daughter there, and then head 5 minutes the other direction and pick up the others from public school. My only concern is that this would mean I'd probably put my Kinder in Kindergarten.

 

Just last night I was telling my husband that I think I'll keep the girls home and maybe even my future 1st grader. But then today, feeling tired and slightly nauseous with 3 loads of laundry to do and dinner to make, I'm feeling like I should send them all again. Idk-hopefully time will be the answer and I can just come to a peaceful decision that I feel good about.

:grouphug:   It is so hard to know what will work best.

 

FWIW, my younger kiddo was so bored at home without older sib or cousins.  He drove us both crazy.  He hated being home with just me, even though we did a lot together and are very close.  I put him in a pre-k program and he LOVED LOVED LOVED it.  He had so much fun, learned a ton, made lots of friends, developed a strong affinity for learning, and was actually an asset to the school.  He loved helping out, he was great at comforting other kids (poor guy should have been part of a MUCH larger family but we never got the chance to have more than the two), and it was absolutely the best option for him.  We still had plenty of time afterwards to cuddle and play.  :)

[Lecka]

I think maybe enroll her in something, too.

 

Keep in mind her close-in-age sister may be having special things. She can have special things too and not just "miss out."

 

But I think it can go the other way with the one going jealous of whatever special thing you might do at home!

 

Really though I think you can do what you would like.

 

The 1st grader would be at the school you visited and had a good impression? I think if it looked like a good situation she will do fine.

 

I think with your pregnancy and new baby coming to me that could point me towards send them so you can rest and be very rested and caught up on everything you can when the baby comes.

 

Or make me want to have that last time together before being busy with the baby.

 

And I think you can balance that or feel pulled more one way or the other.

 

I think with your husband wanting you to have some break -- do think about resting and getting things ready before the baby is born, it can go a long way I think.

Edited February 2, 2017 by Lecka

[Guest2]

It sounds like you have a plan.

 

I found taking my other kids to a school every morning (we did a half day progam at a private small school) to be more exhausting than staying at home. I felt like I was always waking up my little one, or hurrying to get somewhere. School deadlines,projects, and lunches took so much time. I also would check into homework required as sometimes you can not be homeschooling, but still needing to work with kids every evening. My kids are easy to get along with, but the teachers were slow at returning any work. I didn't see the problem with their work for a long time, the teachers kept saying it was all good. For us, it didn't end up being a good decision. I had to go back and think about why we homeschooled, and haven't looked back since.

 

When I brought my kids home, I was able to find curricula that got done without being so exhausting. We hit the basics. It was freeing, and unfortunately I didn't give myself permisson until they had gone to school and used a different curricula. I guess I thought I had to use the most perfect one( no matter how much work) but the school just had to be a "good school". We did lots of video that year, but it is a time we would not trade. My kids can still quote Discovery Chanel /Cyberchase facts. I am just sharing my experience, and obviously many people here have had different experiences. I encourage you to do whatever is best for you and your family.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I think it's time to call it quits even if it is as simple as you don't want to do it anymore. 

 

Not gonna repeat what has already been said several times. 

[G5052]

We married late and had our kids late, so only two who are two plus years apart.

 

It was tough enough with just two when we were in the intense early years. I came out of that convinced that if we had more children, some or all of them would have had to go to the classroom. I could not have done it.

 

No guilt if you decide to charge your plans.

[boscopup]

The year I was pregnant with #4 was hard. I had complications, and school got done only half the time. My kids were ahead in math before starting, so that helped. We did fine when baby came. Newborns sleep a lot. We had a groove going. Then... Baby #4 turned into a toddler and dropped the morning nap. And I'm about to turn 40. I've homeschooled 6 full years as of Last month. I'm TIRED. My 7th grader was not being pushed as much as he needed to be, particularly in language arts. My 2nd grader was doing fine, but I felt like he could have more attention. My 4th grader is being tested for Autism/ADHD/Dyslexia/etc. in April. He needs me one-on-one for most of his school work, and he's way behind in writing because of his issues, not to mention the emotional toll of dealing with his attitude 24/7. We started looking into a local virtual school that has a blended learning thing - 2 days they go to school. But that wouldn't start until next year - you can't just jump in in the middle of the year. It's part of the city school system, and we're outside the city, so we'd need to pay a bit for it. I had talked to them and was planning to learn more in the spring when they have an open house thing. Then just before Christmas break, we got a flyer in the mail from our county school district. They had started a virtual school this year. I sent an e-mail and learned that we could start now. I was hoping to get services for my 4th grader. Unfortunately, since he's being evaluated for autism, special ed said he needed his evaluation done before doing virtual school, as he'll certainly need an IEP. So... my 7th grader and 2nd grader started virtual school. I'm still tempted to put the 4th grader in b&m school, though I'm concerned because that school isn't a very good one, and I'm afraid socially he'll have a lot of problems. So for now I'm continuing to homeschool him.

 

We just finished two weeks of virtual school, and I gotta say, I'm glad I did it. I was scared going into it, but so far we love it. My 7th grader is getting pushed like he needs to be, and he's been learning a lot more than he did all last semester. He is also writing - without complaining. And it's not me being the bad guy. This is what he has needed. My 2nd grader is enjoying his as well (he's doing 3rd grade in the virtual school, though he's 2nd grade on paper still). He likes the LiveLesson classes where he gets to be online with other kids. He would probably really enjoy b&m school. If we were zoned for better schools, I'd be ok with sending him (and possibly grade skipping him to make the academics better). But for now, virtual school is a happy medium. He's getting more personal attention, and he's learning new things. He's able to do more writing that he's totally capable of doing. And since my 7th grader is completely independent, I'm able to do more one-on-one with my 4th grader like he needs. I'm feeling like I'm not being pulled in quite as many directions as I was.

 

I may still end up putting the 4th grader in b&m school sometime this semester. I'm trying to avoid that. And hopefully he can also do the virtual school next year with an IEP in place.

 

At some point, we have to recognize our limits. I hit mine. I could not give full attention to 3 students while also dealing with crazy toddler princess. Taking some of the pressure off me has been so helpful. I'm no longer stressed about 2 of my students. That's huge! They're getting a good education. And frankly, I think my 7th grader is getting a better education than I was giving him. I gave him a good math education, but the humanities are not my strong suit, and I wasn't having him do as much in science as the virtual school has him doing. He was capable of doing more. I wasn't pushing him.

 

Whatever choice we make, we can always change methods later if needed. We may stick with virtual school. We may go back to homeschooling. I will take it one day at a time. Maybe I can do better in a few years when my toddler is a K'er. Or maybe I'll just be done. But the fact is... I have to look at reality. Each year, I'll need to look at the students in front of me and make the right decision for both them AND me. And I have limits. I can't do it all.