Need help with Christmas gift ideas

[Kathleen in VA]

We do not normally buy our own children gifts because they usually get overloaded by relatives and we just don't have the room for lots of stuff. We do buy our relatives gifts, however, and every year it gets more difficult to figure out what to buy. We really cannot afford to give anything, but want to show some appreciation for what they do for us all year and at Christmas.

 

Dad/Step-mom - live 5000 miles away and have everything they need or want. Both in their 70s. Do not need stuff, books, food, etc.

 

Brother/sil in California - they always buy our children very nice clothes (one outfit or shirt or something) for each of our children at Christmas and on their birthdays. Both work (software engineer/blood bank supervisor) and have no children. Again, do not need stuff, books, food, etc. They go on cruises, ski trips, etc. so really do not need anything.

 

Sister/bil in Nevada - they spent about $100-$150 on each of my children last year and bought me my elliptical machine. No kids/good jobs - don't need anything.

 

Brother/sil here (dh's brother) - this is the brother that paid for our entire family to go to Disneyworld one year (food, hotel, plane fare, the whole shebang). Both work at great jobs, no children, do not need anything.

 

Dh's parents: Both in their 70s. Fil has lung cancer. All either of them want is for fil to be well. They don't really need anything either.

 

Cousin - His wife died of breast cancer last year at age 50. He lives in a gorgeous home in Northern Virginia and has two grown kids (18 and 20 yo) we also buy gifts for. Doesn't need anything and neither do the kids (one boy and one girl). All he really wants is to have his wife back.

 

So, as you can see we are the only ones in the family without the means to spend a lot for gifts. My husband works two jobs (letter carrier/office cleaning) so I can stay home and teach the kids and we have next to no discretionary income. One year I made soup mixes and put them in homemade gift bags but by the time the Christmas season was in full swing, I started to doubt if that was enough. Everything I think of just seems stupid. All these folks are so kind and generous to us and I really want to be generous in return, but I don't have the means to buy anything of any real value.

 

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

[Mom to Aly]

Kathleen:

 

It has taken me years to reconcile myself to the fact that a) I can no longer be the big gift giver in my fam, as I always was. b) no one really cares about the gifts. They know my situation, and are probably happier not to get anything, than to know that I have struggled and sacrificed to give them something. c) They would much rather it go to my child, as would I.

 

I am sure all of your relatives feel this way, and, if you put yourself in their situation, you will see that too. Even as I am writing this, I am sitting here, thinking what an idiot I am, because I still struggle every year to make them things, but I know I don't have to--I FEEL I have to. Ridiculous, isn't it?

 

I would say, what will mean the most is something that shows you all put a lot of time into it. I don't know if this would be too much, but for the relative that lost his wife, you all writing stories about her, what you remember most about her, loved about her, things he can keep, laugh over, wonderful memories he may not know about or remember well.

 

For the father in law, all of you writing about memories with him, and how much he means to you--my dear, dear brother in law had a very dangerous surgery a few years ago, and he ended up dying weeks afterwards. I did this before the surgery, and my sister told me afterwards how much it meant to him--she said he never realized how much I loved him until I did that, & I did love him so much. I would actually do this for each of the grandparents, like a big scrapbook, with pages written out, and add to it each year--we do this for my mom, and she adores it. For the grandparents 5000 miles away, it could be very special.

 

Personal things like that can mean more than anything. Money spent is not important here--time spent will mean so much more! You could get a family portrait done at someplace cheap like Sears--just get the cheap package (actually, I've heard Portrait Innovations is amazing!). I have had my dd decorate cheap picture mats and wooden frames from a young age. Your kids are older; they could do it beautifully now! Or write special things along the edges--or get a mat that holds little pictures and do collages!

 

Things like that will mean much more to your family than anything you break yourself to buy. You know what they say--give of yourself :). <Hugs>

[Mom2legomaniacs]

One thing might be to somehow to make something with tidbits of sayings and qualities that each of these people possess that make them special to your family. Make it simple yet elegant. Let them know how important they are to you. Something you can frame perhaps? And include family photos and/or pics of the kids?

 

(I think Mom to Aly had great ideas too!)

[cougarmom4]

I feel the same way a lot of the time. I always have a hard time figuring out what to get my brother/sister-in-law; they've always had more financially than we have...and unfortunately at Christmas I always felt like our gifts to them had to be equal, even though it really isn't about that at all!

 

I like the idea of writing down stories/memories. What about gathering/assembling a book of your geneology? Or maybe a scrapbook or photo collage of a recent family gathering or of pictures of the good-old-days when everyone was younger. Or using digital photos put together a DVD and add music. Maybe your kids can do something like that as a project? Oh, one thing I've done in the past is to create calendars--you can buy them at Michael's or Robert's and you add photos/stickers--you can put in birthdays, etc. You can also send in your pictures somewhere like at Walmart Photo shop and they print the calendar with your pictures.

 

A few years ago I found a list of fun ideas on the web--they were called 'survival kits' and the list had a ton of them. Like a survival kit for a new mom, college student, retired, teacher, etc. (and then you gather all kinds of little things) and attach a note that includes the explanation of items. For example, for the new mom, one item might be a q-tip to hold her eyes open when she's tired. They aren't necessarily 'gift-baskets' (although that's an idea, too...but tends to get expensive) but they are funny & cute and show that you put some thought into it. I'll look and see if I can find a copy of it, if you want me to.

 

Good luck...and I hope more ideas are posted here, because I need to start thinking about Christmas, too!

[PameliaSue]

We are in a similar situation and I just love the ideas that have been posted!!! Missing the rep feature!!!

[Sebastian (a lady)]

We're overloaded with toys here. In fact I just stored several boxes of toys and still have a lot. I'm planning on making my own kids small photo albums for Christmas. I may do the same thing for their grandparents.

 

But one of the nicest things that I've gotten was a long letter from a friend saying how much she appreciated something that we'd done together and saying how much our friendship meant to her. I still have that letter tucked away.

[lynn]

Would they be the type to enjoy a family portrait or just the kids? It does n ot have to be done professionally just some time at a nice park dressed casual/dressy. You can get 5x7 at Walgreens, walmart etc. or have a calendar made for the grandparents with kids artwork or pictures.

 

It's hard to buy for my parents but they like to eat out and travel so Cracker barrell certificate or Roadhouse go well with them.

[TraceyS/FL]

I agree - i was going to suggest a family portrait.

 

My parents are the same hard to buy for type too - i can relate. I can't afford to buy them what i'd like too. SIgh...... but the calendar i did last year using a drop in template from Shabby Princess was a big hit!

[Mom to Aly]

Oh, I remembered something I used to do for my fam when I was in college--I would put together "relaxation packs" and "movie packs". I would put in a book, often from Goodwill or someplace like that, a bar of chocolate, a mix for hot cocoa, etc. all wrapped up nicely, and put on it, "for a dreary eve", "when you want a laugh", "when you're feeling like a mystery", etc. I did the same with movies--when videos were a $1 ;)--with popcorn, soda, or sparkling lemonade, etc. I did some for my sister, with a movie, nail polish, etc. They always loved them, they were cheap, inventive, and loads of fun to give and get!

 

This year, btw, I am doing totally diff gifts for my fam--for example, for one of my sisters, I'm going to her house and making her 4 diff kinds of biscotti--she doesn't cook at all, and pays a fortune for biscotti. That's for her b'day--for xmas, I'm making her 2 weeks of meals she can freeze each month for a year. Things like that--something I can do, it won't cost me anything, since she is buying the food, but it helps her a ton, and saves her a ton. Works wonderfully for both of us :).

[rafiki]

.

[skissugar]

Last year I did like "mom to aly" I got these cloth containers at walmart, they were 3 for like 5.00 or so.. fairly cheap. they came in black, red or blue. anyway.. I got movies in the 5.00 bins 2 movies per basket.. I tried to theme them to each person. Then i put in microwave popcorn, candy, little soda's. Everyone loved them.

For my niece I went to the dollar tree and filled hers with bath stuff, nail stuff, and makeup.

 

Everyone loved them. They understood we do not have a ton of money to spend like most people and really it is the thought that counts.. not what you buy.

 

This year we are sending Tastefully Simple to everyone.. each person will get something different, for BIL hes getting beer bread, chips, and salsa.. for SIL she is getting Chocolate Pound cake and Truffle Fudge brownie mix .. etc..

 

For friends we are making candies, cookies and bread in mass quantities and sharing with them.

[fsunolefan]

I try to take photos of just my daughters throughout the year. I then find the best 12 and upload them to a calendar service. It works out to about $30/family with shipping. I've tried buying the kits and printing them at home, but it was even more expensive with all the ink I had to buy(oops!). I have done them for 4 years now and don't see an end in sight. I've also decided to frame (inexpensively) some of the artwork from the kids for some friends and family here in town. Anything made by the grandkids is always a big hit with the grandparents.

[3lilreds in NC]

I was going to suggest having calendars made, too. It sounds like you have a close family, and since a lot of them don't have children of their own, they don't have anyone else's cute faces to see and a calendar would be perfect! I am considering doing it for the grandparents this year. Guess I'd better get going on that....

 

Also, the memory book/scrapbook idea is a lovely one, especially for your FIL.

 

The movie etc. bags are WONDERFUL ideas. We may snag that one too!

[Kathleen in VA]

Wow, guys, thanks for all the great ideas. Mom to Aly, I love your idea about the different "packs" you put together. That sounds like a fun gift to put together as well as receive. I like the calendar idea, too. I suppose they'd all appreciate pictures of the kids. All the ideas were great - really.

 

I know, I know - it's the thought that counts. It's just so hard to be in the room when everyone is opening gifts and I pull off the lid to a box and find a $200 Coach purse while I have only a soup mix to give in return. I am delighted that they are so kind - they know I could never afford to buy myself anything that nice and well-made. I just can't help feeling a tad silly with my homemade concoctions.

 

Come to think of it, I think this feeling is actually a subtle form of pride on my part - you know, not being comfortable with my lack of means and having this gnawing feeling that I want to be just as able to give as others who have more. It is humbling to be in this position and since it bothers me so much, it looks like I could use some humbling.:)

[BabyBre]

I try to take photos of just my daughters throughout the year. I then find the best 12 and upload them to a calendar service. It works out to about $30/family with shipping.

 

 

They often get down to about $10-12 including shipping on Snapfish.com. Get on their e-mail list and you'll get a notification of when they go on sale. This is an unbeatable price.

[Mom to Aly]

They often get down to about $10-12 including shipping on Snapfish.com. Get on their e-mail list and you'll get a notification of when they go on sale. This is an unbeatable price.

 

This is fantastic! I have never seen them this cheap! But, for me, even this is too much. I just found some of the ones you put the pics in at Michael's for $1--I snapped those up, and am going to do them for my fam.

 

Also, Kathleen, I do have to say one thing I keep telling myself, and it does make a big diff to me--when I look at the gifts my dd gets (my fam doesn't give me gifts--I don't think they really think about it--all I ever want is for my dd), I am so grateful, and I do feel awkward--but, more than anything, I do know that the amount of time that I put in cannot compare with the amount of time they do. That does help. You have to know the same. Just your agonizing over it now cannot compare with the amount of time they will spend shopping over your gift.

 

And, really, stop for a minute and think of what a personalized gift from them would mean to you--think of the shock you would feel, and how touched you would be that they would take that amount of time to do that for you. Not to put their presents down at all, but you can tell how much would go into one of those gifts. Please don't denigrate their value at all, just because you are the one giving them. :D

 

I hope you find value in all your gifts, and peace for these holidays.

 

God bless us, every one;).

[Ferdie]

My dh and I were DINKs (dual income, no kids) for a long time. We bought presents for our nieces and nephews because we wanted to and didn't want anything in return. I would have loved to have received a thank you note from my nieces and nephews, though. That would have been great.

 

My brother and his family are on a very tight income and they always send food for a special Christmas breakfast to my Mom: pancake mix, fruit syrup, flavored coffee and gourmet hot cocoa mix for the kids. Since we all gather at her house Christmas morning it is his way of giving a gift to all of us.

 

We have another relative that is tight on money and one year she sent a box with a 500 piece puzzle, homemade cookies and hot apple cider mix. It was a big hit. We enjoyed the refreshments and worked on the puzzle for family night. We had a few visitors that year and every one that came into our home really enjoyed working on the puzzle.

[Guest vicky86]

I agree with you. Yes, most of us haven't enough money to buy expensive gift and for a child, the special gift is the best way to make they understand our intention. We can buy a cheap gift but have another meaning. Or do something with our own hand. The kid may very happy to receive such gift as it cannot find in anywhere.