7yr old stressing over letters

[UmMusa]

My 7 yr old stresses out too much when she's doing copywork.  WHY!?!?

She wants each letter to be perfect despite my reassuring her that the way she's written them is fine.  I tell her that daily writing will end up with better letters after a while, that her letters are good, that she can use her printing book to work on the form but to just work on the copywork in other books.  

 

Any tips to get over this need for her letters to be just perfect? Copying one simple sentence is taking too long.

[maize]

Bribe her for fast copies? You could have a per-letter or per-word rate for whatever is done in the first five minutes or some such.

[TX Native]

A non expert opinion- Try having her copy all she can for 5 minutes and stop for the day. Then pick up where she left off the next day. I wouldn't worry about amount, but I would stress quality.

 

However, I understand it may not be that simple. Your daughter sounds like my daughter with a recent drawing assignment. I kept stressing the drawing didn't need to look exactly like the detailed photo, but she kept crying and dragging the assignment out in frustration. I kept praising her effort and encouraging her to draw just like she happily draws in her free time, not trying to be perfect. In the end, the drawing looked exactly like the photo except in pencil sketch form. She was emotionally exhausted.

Edited May 9, 2016 by TX native

[UmMusa]

A non expert opinion- Try having her copy all she can for 5 minutes and stop for the day. Then pick up where she left off the next day. I wouldn't worry about amount, but I would stress quality.

 

However, I understand it may not be that simple. Your daughter sounds like my daughter with a recent drawing assignment. I kept stressing the drawing didn't need to look exactly like the detailed photo, but she kept crying and dragging the assignment out in frustration. I kept praising her effort and encouraging her to draw just like she happily draws in her free time, not trying to be perfect. In the end, the drawing looked exactly like the photo except in pencil sketch form. She was emotionally exhausted.

I know what you mean, but she spent five minutes erasing and rewriting capital B for the first word of the sentence. She just wouldn't move on. Well, she did after a few minutes, but not without exasperation and a few tears.

[Tanaqui]

I actually removed all erasers from the house when the older girl went through that stage with regards to homework at that age. I don't know if it helped the perfectionism, but at least she couldn't rip holes in her pages that way.

[Daria]

Could she do her copywork with pen?

[JanetC]

Ok, this is going to sound strange, but...

 

Stop reassuring her... She doesn't believe you anyway, and your reassurances are actually feeding the anxiety. Your job is to be unconcerned about her handwriting. Her letters are of no particular consequence. Her brain is lying to her that those letters are extremely important. Your job is to be loving and objective about the fact that her brain is lying to her.

 

Brains lie to you. Look at optical illusions and talk about how brains really can lie to you. Talk to her about anxiety. See if books like "What to do When You Worry Too Much" might be helpful. Read books written to parents about anxious kids so you learn how to support her emotionally without buying into the idea that whatever she is worried about is actually really awful. You may tell her ONCE that the B is legible, then you need to be firmly in the camp that this is about out-of-control worries, NOT about handwriting.

 

Do not start adding time pressure or other stress to copy work. Maybe even reduce the number of days per week you do it, if you're doing it daily now.