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Posted

My dd will be going away for a three month missions trip in the fall and has just sent out letters requesting donations towards the trip. She'll be graduating next month and we want to throw her a graduation party bbq at our home, however, we don't want friends and family to feel obligated to give gifts or money. We would rather they donate towards her missions trip if they want to give something. Is it appropriate to put "In lieu of a gift, please consider donating towards Emma's missions trip" or something of that sort?

 
Posted (edited)

I find it still iffy, because it still sounds like solicitating gifts.I would feel very uncomfortable mentioning anything of this sort at all. Are those people the same people who received solicitation letters from her already? (I feel uncomfortable with those as well)

 

we don't want friends and family to feel obligated to give gifts or money. We would rather they donate towards her missions trip

 

I don't see how this is different from giving money.

Edited by regentrude
  • Like 1
Posted

I wouldn't mention it. They will either give her money, which she can use toward her trip, or they will give her a gift, or they will give nothing.

 

Since she already asked people for money for her trip, I would keep the graduation party separate from that.

  • Like 2
Posted

My dd will be going away for a three month missions trip in the fall and has just sent out letters requesting donations towards the trip. She'll be graduating next month and we want to throw her a graduation party bbq at our home, however, we don't want friends and family to feel obligated to give gifts or money. We would rather they donate towards her missions trip if they want to give something. Is it appropriate to put "In lieu of a gift, please consider donating towards Emma's missions trip" or something of that sort?

 

Sorry. You may not tell people to give your dd money, even though it's for a missions trip. You may not tell people how to be generous or how to show their appreciation and love for your dd.

  • Like 1
Posted

I think that the only time that it would be appropriate to suggest a gift of money for the mission trip would be if somebody specifically asks you what your daughter might want/need as a graduation gift.

Posted

All of the people invited to the graduation party are also on the donation list. Many of them have already generously donated towards her missions trip and we don't want them to feel like getting an invitation to her graduation party means turning around and getting a graduation gift as well. We will just put "no gifts please" on the invites.

  • Like 1
Posted

I think that the only time that it would be appropriate to suggest a gift of money for the mission trip would be if somebody specifically asks you what your daughter might want/need as a graduation gift.

 

I didn't mean to suggest a gift at all. We don't want people to feel obligate.

Posted

I wouldn't put anything on it at all. There are people that want to give graduation gifts - that's fine and you can use it toward the trip if you want. There are others that specifically want to donate toward a mission trip. Some will do both, others neither. Let them choose. You are simply inviting them to a graduation celebration, not soliciting gifts.

Posted

Sorry. You may not tell people to give your dd money, even though it's for a missions trip. You may not tell people how to be generous or how to show their appreciation and love for your dd.

 

I am most certainly not telling people to give my daughter money! She is raising and earning money for her missions trip, along with asking friends and family if they would like to sponsor her. We want these same friends and family members to join in celebrating her graduation. Most people invited to a graduation party give the graduate a gift. We don't want these people to feel like they need to do that.

  • Like 1
Posted

I wouldn't mention it. They will either give her money, which she can use toward her trip, or they will give her a gift, or they will give nothing.

 

Since she already asked people for money for her trip, I would keep the graduation party separate from that.

 

Most of the same people will be invited to the graduation party. I think we'll just put "no gifts" on the invite.

Posted

I am most certainly not telling people to give my daughter money! She is raising and earning money for her missions trip, along with asking friends and family if they would like to sponsor her. We want these same friends and family members to join in celebrating her graduation. Most people invited to a graduation party give the graduate a gift. We don't want these people to feel like they need to do that.

 

But they *want* to give gifts. It's what people do when they celebrate someone's milestone. It is not up to you to decide whether or not they can do that.

 

No matter what, you may not put anything on the invitation about donating money to the mission trip.

 

The way not to make them feel obligated to do anything is not to say anything.

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