Where do your middle school age kids find their social connections?

[Laurel-in-CA]

My older kids had each other and did plenty of 4-H stuff, but my youngest is now in this age range and is finding it tough to find friends or a learning community that shares her interest. In our AHG troop, she'll be the oldest next year; her friends are all leaving AHG for high school and/or Venturing and she's not an outdoorsy person. We do a homeschool skate day once a week....next year she'll be the oldest there; she has a younger girl who loves talking with her but no peers. Co-ops in our area are mostly enrichment, not really suitable for what she needs academically, but we may try one of those in desperation....she'll probably be one of the oldest there, too. There's a local PSP sponsored by a christian day-school, but I don't need the oversight and don't want to pay the $$ for on-campus classes, and its mandatory parent meetings interfere with AHG as they're on the same night. She does have some friends @ church youth group, but that's the only place they see each other: Sunday mornings and every other Tuesday. Not enough.

 

I looked really hard at Classical Conversations for next year, but half of the program, at least, wouldn't fit what we'd be doing at home and that's a lot of money (and/or work, if I were to tutor) for half a program, KWIM?

 

We are trying some art classes @ the local state U's summer program for kids--one called Davinci Drawing (pen and ink, journaling focus) and one on finishing your own graphic novel. I am hoping this will expose her to the larger art community and help her make some connections in her primary area of interest and skill. She really needs private art lessons, as she seems to be following the same path as her oldest sister, our BFA girl. With her middle sister's help, she maintains a Polyvore account and interacts with her fashion followers there. 8-)

[heartlikealion]

I don't know but would a game day or such work? Like forming a group to meet at the local library for cards/games? Maybe schedule it so it doesn't conflict with the 2 day a week structured time thing. Dh bought ds a card game (Yu-Gi-Oh!) and I took him to the library to play with dh's student worker lol. But your dd might be able to find some same age kids into something like that.

[Farrar]

Theater, ballet, and Destination Imagination here. Plus co-op and longtime friends. But I worry... my boys are also 11 and I feel a sense of great nervousness about the coming years.

 

Why oh why must this coincide with them also hitting that age where they're so socially unsure. In the last month we've had several conversations that were basically this:

 

Kid: I'm worried that I'm weird.

Me: Well, it's okay to be weird.

Kid: Is it though?
Me: Yes. It's also okay to want to fit in and be liked.

Kid: I'm also super worried about that!

Me: Well, that's normal. You can want to fit in.

Kid: But I also want to be unique!

Me: Yeah, there's no easy answers on this one, kiddo.

 

Why can't these other parents see that sending a kid off to middle school who's grappling with this instead of keeping them close with their longtime peers is a big, fat mistake!??! Argh, I mean, I know school works out for some kids, I just... Ugh. Whine.

[Alicia64]

 

Why can't these other parents see that sending a kid off to middle school who's grappling with this instead of keeping them close with their longtime peers is a big, fat mistake!??! Argh, I mean, I know school works out for some kids, I just... Ugh. Whine.

 

Said beautifully. I don't get it either.

[Peaceful Isle]

It's hard for my middle school girls. Our church doesn't have anyone their age, but they seem happy to mingle with those older and younger than them.

Their best friends are an hour away, and 5 hours away. They text to them a lot.

 

I understand. :( I just try to keep them happy and busy :/

[ErinE]

Theater, ballet, and Destination Imagination here. Plus co-op and longtime friends. But I worry... my boys are also 11 and I feel a sense of great nervousness about the coming years.

 

Why oh why must this coincide with them also hitting that age where they're so socially unsure. In the last month we've had several conversations that were basically this:

 

Kid: I'm worried that I'm weird.

Me: Well, it's okay to be weird.

Kid: Is it though?

Me: Yes. It's also okay to want to fit in and be liked.

Kid: I'm also super worried about that!

Me: Well, that's normal. You can want to fit in.

Kid: But I also want to be unique!

Me: Yeah, there's no easy answers on this one, kiddo.

 

Why can't these other parents see that sending a kid off to middle school who's grappling with this instead of keeping them close with their longtime peers is a big, fat mistake!??! Argh, I mean, I know school works out for some kids, I just... Ugh. Whine.

 

I hear you. One of my children doesn't notice these things, but one most certainly does. We've had issues since the child began public school. It worries me.

[myfunnybunch]

I don't know but would a game day or such work? Like forming a group to meet at the local library for cards/games? Maybe schedule it so it doesn't conflict with the 2 day a week structured time thing. Dh bought ds a card game (Yu-Gi-Oh!) and I took him to the library to play with dh's student worker lol. But your dd might be able to find some same age kids into something like that.

 

We started a Game Night for the boys, and it's been pretty successful.

 

It started because they had a friend over, then another friend came over (oops, forgot we'd invited him!), and the neighbor ended up at our house too. We played poker and had a blast, so we started a semi-regular game night. The boys just invite random kids they know from their various activities. Last one, we had a dozen boys for video games, pizza and movie, poker, and Nerf War.

 

We try to do different activities. One night was mustache night, and we all wore stick-on mustaches and played rotating card and board game stations. Last time was Nerf night. The boys want to do a mystery night next, and have a campfire night in the summer.

 

It takes a lot of work on my part, setting it up, coordinating transportation, making sure we have lots of food, and that the activities are structured enough to keep everyone entertained but not so structured that they aren't getting time to just hang out. But it's worth it. It's really strengthened their friendships.