What to do about relatives who give you brand new schooly stuff you don't really want?

[TechWife]

she's being gracious, and trying to give your kids something that is supportive of home-learning. say thank you.

I understand. My mother really wanted to do nice things, be helpful, etc. . . . sometimes you do need to be gracious and thank the thought.

 

that doesn't mean you have to use it if it doesn't fit into your plans. do you have a homeschool bookstore/etc. in your area? or sell them on craigslist once you reach a certain volume?

I agree. Treat it like any other gift. Consider it a really cool you the kids can play with however they want, as long as it's safe.

[justasque]

...I have considered asking one of my friends here if we want to round up her and my kids and have them do the kits together (at her house), so I may give that a try.

 

 

Oh, one more thought: do you know any moms with kids in the MSB age range? If my mom friend had an expensive kit subscription and didn't want to bother with it, I would have been happy as heck to do it with both her kids and mine!

 

 

Seriously, if you can think of a mom who would do the kits with your kids and hers, that would solve all of your problems. 

...

I saw that you posted about asking a friend, so I'd plan on doing exactly that and otherwise quit thinking about it.

 

 

Or, do you know anyone who does a co-op? That sounds like an awesome set up for a k-2 or k-3 co-op class, where each mom takes one kit home, figures out what to do, and leads all the kids through the projects. We did that when a friend bought e entire Disney Imagineering set and then had it sit on a shelf for a year, and it was one of our best co-ops. Turned out a lot of people had science and engineering stuff at home they hadn't actually done yet!

All of this. It can be a huge undertaking to do all the planning, stuff-getting, and set-up for this kind of hands-on activity, and with young 'uns the actual activity can be over in a matter of minutes. For me, this kind of activity is best with more than one adult, and more than one family's worth of kids. It changes it from a big mom-effort for little payoff, to a social event where the mom-work can be shared and the kids can have science time and then playtime (where they often build on the shared science experience in their play).

 

Do not be too hard on yourself. It is hard, when you're struggling, to have other people put large projects on your schedule without your buy-in. I get it. It's awkward when people don't understand your child's ability level, then expect their otherwise-thoughtfully-chosen gift to be a major hit. As others have said, this is your wife's problem, not yours. As the gift is over your children's ability level, it's ok to put it on the shelf for later.

Edited March 1, 2016 by justasque

[kirstenhill]

I think it would be fair also to put the kits away and say if MIL asks, "my kids are just to young for these right now, we're going to wait until they are a bit older." Put them on the shelf and wait a couple years, and then they very well might be able to do it on their own. We've done that before...like when someone gave DD a Lego set for ages 9+ when she was 2 years old! (The gift giver had no kids of his own and thought our DD must be advanced for her age, I guess...lol).

[Halftime Hope]

I think it would be fair also to put the kits away and say if MIL asks, "my kids are just to young for these right now, we're going to wait until they are a bit older." Put them on the shelf and wait a couple years, and then they very well might be able to do it on their own. We've done that before...like when someone gave DD a Lego set for ages 9+ when she was 2 years old! (The gift giver had no kids of his own and thought our DD must be advanced for her age, I guess...lol).

 

And if you made a list of the things you need for the kits, putting them away for later would give you time to collect the needed items for free or at low(er) cost, without a huge investment all at once. 

 

Luuknam, this really is more about your relationship with your MIL (finding a workable way forward) and shoring up your own personal well-being than it is about the kits.  If you put the kits away and work on those two areas of your life, that would probably be worth much more good than doing the kits; you can always come back to the kits on your own timetable, if you decide to do so. 

 

If you were close to me, I'd borrow your kids and your kits. 

 

All the best to you and your family!

Edited February 29, 2016 by Halftime Hope

[Katy]

With  NPD/BPD issues, I agree with everyone else to treat it like a gift, take a picture of them playing with it & text or facebook it to her.

 

If it was from a normal grandparent I'd say "Thank you so much.  It's wonderful that you're supporting our homeschooling efforts.  I know this kit was very expensive and I appreciate it.  It doesn't quite fit in with our planned curriculum for this year, but I'm sure the kids will have fun playing with it in their free time.  If you want to help buy curriculum, my home school Amazon wish list is here (link inserted).  It has all the stuff I want to buy for next year, as well as a few fun things that I might get too if our budget allows for it."