AimeeM Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 (edited) We moved into the new house almost 2 months ago. Since that point, DS6 has become more and more anxious - about me. If he can't find me, he freaks out. By "freaks out," I mean that he becomes hysterical - sometimes to the point of almost vomiting. This is very real to him. I have no clue what is going on. It happens at all times during the day - it can be a random point in the day, mid-day, and he can be upstairs playing fine, but if I don't immediately answer to his yell of, "Mom-Mom, where are you?" he starts racing around the house screaming for me. I don't mean a tantrum scream either - I mean sobbing and screaming until I rush to him and hold him. This also happens in the middle of the night (he is now sleeping in our bedroom). If I tell him that I'm going out for a bit (and leave him with his older sister, Dad, or a sitter), he's fine. He will insist on "ten million hugs" (his count, lol) first, but he's fine and has a blast with whomever he's with. This didn't start until we moved. He's always been an intense (emotionally) child, but I have no clue how to help him here because this constant worrying about me is new. When I ask him why he's so upset, he just sobs and tells me that he was "worried about me." I don't know why he's worried about me, but he's afraid I'm lost or something, from what I can gather from him. I'm a bit lost here. Could it be residual from the "Lego Land incident" (he became separated from us on a very, very busy day, because he wandered in the wrong direction, for about 10-15 minutes - he was very upset, as was I)... but if it was that, why didn't this surface at the old house? We lived there for months after that incident. Is it just the new house? How can I reassure him? Edited December 17, 2015 by AimeeM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 (edited) Has your ds become more worried since your FIL's recent diagnosis? How much does he know of? Sometimes kids have several things happen in a short time (lost at Legoland, move to a new house, FIL diagnosed terminal), and at the developmental stage he is at given that he is already a bit of an anxious kid, it is too much to process. I recently had this happen with one of my kids. ETA: My kid's anxiety became focused on me, too, specifically that I would die or, to a lesser degree, a sibling would die. Edited December 17, 2015 by texasmama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted December 17, 2015 Author Share Posted December 17, 2015 He doesn't know about FIL. Neither of the boys (DS6 and DS3) do. Neither understand death in such a capacity that we're comfortable telling them right now. And, frankly, this (DS6's recent anxiety with the move) comes into play when we decided not to tell them. They know that he is sick, but neither of the boys know the terminal dx - and they don't understand that death is permanent, really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Really reaching here, but does he have spatial or hearing issues? If he's the kind of kid who can't find his way out of a paper bag, maybe he's still disoriented in the new place. Or maybe he doesn't here you rattling around from the other end of the house if you are separated. Maybe he's having bad dreams and doesn't really realize it/remember them, but it's making him anxious during the day? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 He doesn't know about FIL. Neither of the boys (DS6 and DS3) do. Neither understand death in such a capacity that we're comfortable telling them right now. And, frankly, this (DS6's recent anxiety with the move) comes into play when we decided not to tell them. They know that he is sick, but neither of the boys know the terminal dx - and they don't understand that death is permanent, really. He may still be picking up on the changed emotions in the house even if he was not told. When my dd had anxiety, I took her to counseling, put her on a good magnesium supplement and a good probiotic, got her an amber necklace to wear, used the MindUp curriculum with her and let her sleep in a sibling's room. I made other allowances, but those were the big ones. Not that you need to do all of those, but you may find something helpful in there. FWIW, my dd is doing very well now. I hit the anxiety hard with every tool in my toolbox and also got outside help when my efforts were not making a dent. My gut is that your sensitive ds is reacting to all of the changes combined with having gotten lost at LegoLand. His system is working on overdrive right now, and his brain is not processing information correctly, thus the fight or flight response when there is no emergency. The MindUp curriculum addresses this very well with science, and there is one for different age levels. It really gave me and my dd a language to talk about what was happening in her brain when she was anxious. :grouphug: It was very trying for me, and I hope you can find a way to decrease his anxiety soon. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Could you get him a Walkie talkie so he can always find you quickly? My oldest gets anxious but not like you are describing. I always try to find out what I can do to make situations more comfortable for him and sometimes it is simple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted December 18, 2015 Author Share Posted December 18, 2015 Really reaching here, but does he have spatial or hearing issues? If he's the kind of kid who can't find his way out of a paper bag, maybe he's still disoriented in the new place. Or maybe he doesn't here you rattling around from the other end of the house if you are separated. Maybe he's having bad dreams and doesn't really realize it/remember them, but it's making him anxious during the day? You aren't reaching. He does have a plethora of medical problems (congenital defects), and he has does have a hard time hearing (it's just an excessive wax issue, but it does cause him problems) and he does have spatial issues (and probable learning differences/disorders). He does dream in a big way. I can't really tell if they're bad or not, but every night, multiple times, he wakes and asks me to hold him (which I'm more than happy to do, lol). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted December 18, 2015 Author Share Posted December 18, 2015 Could you get him a Walkie talkie so he can always find you quickly? My oldest gets anxious but not like you are describing. I always try to find out what I can do to make situations more comfortable for him and sometimes it is simple. We have the Dormi app set up in the boys' room (it's how I know when The Marvelous Flying Marco is awake at 2 am, playing, lol), and it allows me to always hear them (and anything that happens on the second floor, actually) and allows me to talk to them. It hasn't helped. During the day, I can rush to him. In the middle of the night, before we moved him down and into our bedroom, DD14 was able to rush to him (they share a Jack and Jill setup, the boys and DD14). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnniePoo Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 This happened with my 7yo when we moved in August. He went from a pretty calm, level-headed kid to a mess of tears and sobbing when I go away at night. He will sometimes enter the hallway in the middle of the night in a panic yelling, "where's mom?" Anyway, you're not alone. He does seem to be improving somewhat. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Any chance of PANDAS? (A couple of recent threads on it.) That sounds significant enough and affecting daily life enough where I would seek assistance from a therapist who specializes in pediatric anxiety issues. There are some workbooks on Amazon that are well recommended, including this one: What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety (What to Do Guides for Kids) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1591473144/We used it with my oldest in a mild situation and found it helpful. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted December 18, 2015 Author Share Posted December 18, 2015 Any chance of PANDAS? (A couple of recent threads on it.) That sounds significant enough and affecting daily life enough where I would seek assistance from a therapist who specializes in pediatric anxiety issues. There are some workbooks on Amazon that are well recommended, including this one: What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety (What to Do Guides for Kids) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1591473144/We used it with my oldest in a mild situation and found it helpful. No, I don't think so. He has no compulsions, no tics, and no obsessions. While I would consider him an emotionally intense child, it is only in that he seems to feel "more" emotionally - but this tends to generally lean very happy. This is his only real area of anxiety and it only started when we moved. He's always been attached to me, but no more so than my other two children. Outside of the anxiety, he has no indications of PANDAS, and has not had strep (and because of his heart and lung issues, all illnesses are pretty heavily monitored with him). We will consider therapy later, and if it continues. Thanks for the book recommendations! I'll go look at them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Any chance of PANDAS? (A couple of recent threads on it.) That sounds significant enough and affecting daily life enough where I would seek assistance from a therapist who specializes in pediatric anxiety issues. There are some workbooks on Amazon that are well recommended, including this one: What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety (What to Do Guides for Kids) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1591473144/We used it with my oldest in a mild situation and found it helpful. We used that book, as well. Little dd liked it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.