Young teens with Asperger's

[EKS]

Is it a common pattern of development (and by common, I don't mean the only pattern or the most typical, just that it is something that is seen frequently) for boys with Asperger's to seem to lag more and more behind their peers socially and behaviorally starting at age 12-13?  

 

Thanks!

[Mom22ns]

My pdd-nos kiddo definitely lagged more socially at that age. So have others I have known. It is an age where typical kids make some rapid changes from child to teen and ASD kids often don't make that leap until later. Here the gap gradually narrowed again through high school.

[kbutton]

My son is only approaching that age. Right now, the lag shows up more in group activities than one on one because it's so much harder to read and keep track of a group social dynamic. Certain kids bring out different facets as well. 

[EKS]

Thank you both.  I suspected that the lag might start to reverse in the later teen years, but wasn't sure, and I have noticed that the group dynamic seems to exacerbate the issues.

 

This is regarding my son's very good friend.  My son has been having a tough time because he's been feeling more and more disconnected from him over the past year.  My son has been feeling so sad that the connection with the person who has been his best friend for years has been slipping away, but it sounds like there might be hope yet.

[MomatHWTK]

Yes, as my oldest has aged I've had to specifically introduce him to more mature concepts otherwise he doesn't alway grasp them.  He tells me he would prefer to not grow up.  It is a time of tremendous change for any child, but for ASD kids, transitions are even harder. 

 

"Social Skills" is a common therapy topic. You can probably find resources to help your DS with the transition.  There are even social skills therapy groups available to help the tween/teen kids work through these transitions in a controlled setting.

[KSinNS]

Certainly with my little guy, I'm noticing a lot now that he's 11. His buddies just seem so mature, and he's really still a little boy who is happy to play and read and do music all day. He really can't follow the conversation or the teasing and chatter any more. On the plus side, we've got none of the preadolescent angst that everyone else I know is struggling with. I'm sure it will come! With another family member, this was certainly the age the differences were the most obvious. They were much less obvious later on. 

[Ivey]

This was definitely the case with my Ds18. He still did okay with sports and other structured activities, but when his friends went from "playing together" to just "hanging out", it took him quite a while to make the adjustment. This was also when he started to develop some social anxiety, and he began turning down invitations to birthday parties, or even just to his friends' houses if he didn't knew there'd be a group. It wasn't until he was about 16 that he was comfortable just "hanging out", and he's still immature for 18 in some ways, but he's definitely closed the gap considerably.