TheAttachedMama Posted August 27, 2015 Author Share Posted August 27, 2015 A third on this one. This may not be your situation, but we have a lot of food and environmental allergies. Overall health in our family depends a lot on how well we are managing the allergies. There's a 'threshold' of what each body can handle, if you will, and allergies raise your body's stress level higher so that little things can push it over the threshold. That said, when our allergies are managed, our kids are very healthy. My friend, whose children have few, if any, allergies (caveat: that they know of), has a sick family almost all of every winter. Who knows. Also, I can link most of our stomach viruses either to museum outings or to family members/friends who are careless about exposing others to their own illnesses. So I guess my next step would be to bring it up at a pediatricians office and ask to talk to an allergist??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hobbes Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 So I guess my next step would be to bring it up at a pediatricians office and ask to talk to an allergist??? Yes, my doctor referred us to an allergist who did testing. I'd also recommend doing your own research, because I've found that different doctors have different approaches to dealing with allergies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAttachedMama Posted August 28, 2015 Author Share Posted August 28, 2015 So I would suggest adding outside classes or privileges that serve as "deadlines" for completing work. I'm sure you've tried timers, but something like the Time Tracker might be more motivating. Actually that seems to be making my problem worse! Several times a week, I have them signed up for social things (that are slightly educational) with other homeschoolers. This is because my children are both huge extroverts. They need lots of social interactions. Plus, these clubs help me sneak in electives I might skip if left to my own devices. (Like nature study.) The problem is-- my homeschool group has very strict attendance policies. I can't sign up for these clubs and cancel at the last minute. So I have to be there But what am I to do when they haven't even gotten the bare minimum done before we are suppose to leave? It seems to make me even more stressed out. PLUS---I have a TON of stuff that I need to do that isn't school related. My house is a mess right now. Its overwhelming, and I need time to do my chores. ---------------------------------- Just as another update..... We had another REALLY bad homeschool day today. I was about 2 seconds from throwing in the towel and sending the kids to public school. I know it is bad when it is not even September and I am considering that. But I just don't know what else to do. This time it wasn't my son. (He actually worked really hard with a good attitude.) This time it was his sister. She was hit in the head by her 1 year old brother (an accident) today and had an extreme exaggerated reaction where she cried for TWO HOURS. TWO HOURS of sobbing. There was no bump, no cut---nothing. I am sure it hurt. But her reaction just went on and on. I finally gave up and sent her up to her room because she would not calm down. I am sure that her head hurt. But this was ridiculous. Again, we needed to be done with school by 1:30PM because we had one of these clubs. I gave the kids a very light day of assignments. Basically they just needed to do bible, math, reading, spelling, writing, and typing. We started at 8AM. That is PLENTY of time IMHO to finish up by 1:30PM. But we missed our club because my daughter spent the whole morning crying and couldn't even get done with the basics. (I would rather her know how to read and do math than identify birds!) I guess we are only as strong as our weakest link. I told the kids today that I was not going to sign up for anymore afternoon commitments until getting our basics in became the NORM and not the exception. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurelia Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Really nasty tasting medicine. Ah, yes. Like cod liver oil. The liquid on a spoon, not one of those fancy gel pills where you only taste it when you burp. And also lying quietly in the dark with nothing to do. It reminds me of Nurse Matilda (the book the Nanny McPhee movie was based on). All the children complained they were too sick to do their lessons, so the magic nanny told them to go to bed and made it impossible for them to get up. They also had several other bad habits that were magically cured in similar ways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 So I guess my next step would be to bring it up at a pediatricians office and ask to talk to an allergist??? The pediatrician could order for the common allergy testing to be done before the allergist consultation. That is useful because the testing results could come back faster than the appointment date with the allergist. Is there any homeschool classes in the mornings? Since my oldest is a night owl, I find having outside classes after 9am in the morning is less disruptive to our schedule. We are free after lunch to do our usual school work. ETA: My oldest used to get hives from going to the park. We didn't figure out why as it is one of those hard to narrow down and test things so the pediatrician says it is going to be hard getting an answer. Likely to be something in the soil though as he had the same problem with our patio garden occasionally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 When you say your house is a mess and you need to do your chores, are you talking about routine housecleaning and straightening up? How old are your children? (Typically people put their children’s ages in their signature because replies usually require knowing what age range we’re dealing with.) Children should work alongside mom in the preschool years and be trained to do chores they can be on the chore rotation by age 6. I grew up on a farm. Trust me, kinds can learn to do all kinds of chores at an early age. Are yours doing daily and weekly chores on a regular basis? When you say you were ready to send them to public school do you mean you were seriously considering actually sending them to school or are you using that language to demonstrate your high level of frustration? How many outside activities a week are you doing? Lots of homeschoolers get over extended with outside activities and it causes all sorts of tension at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAttachedMama Posted August 28, 2015 Author Share Posted August 28, 2015 When you say your house is a mess and you need to do your chores, are you talking about routine housecleaning and straightening up? How old are your children? (Typically people put their children’s ages in their signature because replies usually require knowing what age range we’re dealing with.) Children should work alongside mom in the preschool years and be trained to do chores they can be on the chore rotation by age 6. I grew up on a farm. Trust me, kinds can learn to do all kinds of chores at an early age. Are yours doing daily and weekly chores on a regular basis? When you say you were ready to send them to public school do you mean you were seriously considering actually sending them to school or are you using that language to demonstrate your high level of frustration? How many outside activities a week are you doing? Lots of homeschoolers get over extended with outside activities and it causes all sorts of tension at home. My kids are 8 (almost 9), 7, and 1 (almost 2). When I say my house is a mess, I am talking about routine housecleaning that needed to be done. The laundry needed re-booted, the kitchen floor needed swept and mopped (it was all sticky from my toddler eating), the sink was full of dishes, dinner needed to be started, books were all over the living room floor, random things needed put back into their place. etc. Again, I know you are going to say, "You should have just assigned those to your kids." I get that. However, I had to make a call to choose between chores and school because there doesn't seem to be enough time in the day to get both done. I didn't want school to drag on because we needed to move on to those other things. Again---I am sorry to vent. It has probably been just a rough patch. Also, to answer your other question... I mean, I was literally thinking of sending my kids to public school today. I felt like all of the nay-sayers in my family may have been right all along. I don't have a lot of support when it comes to homeschooling from my husband, my mom,---really anyone close to me in my family. They all thought I was a bit crazy for even suggesting it. It was my idea and I pushed for it. My husband says he is on board now, but if I complain, his "solution" is to send them to school. So I try not to complain to him. I just really started to doubt myself. I am in a sensitive mood today---so just be gentle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 I had a busy night or I would’ve posted earlier. People vent here all the time. That’s one of the reasons why this board exists. That’s why homeschoolers get together in person half the time. You never have to apologize for venting. The way I read your post, I came to the conclusion you wanted suggestions to help relieve the stress. If not, it’s OK to post “vent†and “jawm’ (just agree with me) in the title so we’re clear that you don’t want suggestions. Everyone needs to vent sometimes. The reason I asked if you really meant it or not is because I’ve been homeschooling in the one of the largest hs communities for 16 years now. I hear someone say, “I’m think about sending them to ps!†a few times a year and when I ask if they really mean that about 60% say “yes.†And about 40% say something like, “Oh no, ps isn’t an option for us. I’m just blowing off steam.†My response is different depending on the answer. Since you really are considering it, I would say that if you decide ps is the best option in your circumstance, you don’t have to apologize for that. You’re the mom, you know better than anyone else what’s best for your children. However, before you decide to ditch the whole thing, there are some suggestions I would make based on what I think I understand by reading your posts. I’ve homeschooled though an international adoption with my youngest, a year of transition for a traumatized child, helping care for a grandparent in a hospice facility, helping care for a grandparent with Alzheimer’s, my husband’s clinical depression and crisis of faith, ongoing a serious medical issue of my own, and my oldest teen’s mental health issues. I understand it can be hard. When the house gets out of control I stop schooling and get our environment taken care of first. I’m not mentally comfortable in a messy or cluttered environment. There are probably 4 or 5 times a year I stop school for the day and we get the house back in order because life happened. If I were in your situation, I’d start there tomorrow morning. Your early elementary aged kids are young and skipping academics for one day can easily be made up later. Get the house straightened up and cleaned with the children helping. I would create a chore list with daily chores (make beds, straighten up bedrooms, straighten up public rooms, set table, clear table, load dishwasher, unload dishwasher, feed pet, clean up pet poo, empty kitchen trash, etc.) and weekly and semi weekly chores (clean bathroom, vacuum, mop, dust, etc.) for the older two for the month. Older and Middle would each have roughly equally divided daily chores. On each day of the week with no outside activity I would have a weekly chore assigned for each of the older kids. I would save each kid’s list and next month I would trade kids’ names on the lists. Each month, until your youngest is ready to join the chore rotation, I would have them trade off. I would post that list on the fridge and start it the day after the house had been put in order. If you’re unavailable, dad knows who to tell to do what. Then I would make a meal plan for the next 7 days and a matching grocery list and save a copy of each. It would be made up of the fastest and easiest meals my family eats. The easiest of those 7 would be planned for the days that are the hardest because of the schedule out of the house. They would be things like packaged foods if you eat that kind of thing, pasta and jarred sauce, crockpot meals and such. Breakfasts would be things like cold cereal and milk or toast with nut butter and fruit so my olders could make it themselves. Lunches would be bean burros, sandwiches, leftovers from dinner and things like that. I’d go shopping this weekend to get it all in my house before the weekend is over. Next weekend I’d make another meal plan and grocery list and save a copy of each. Eventually, I’d have several weeks’ worth saved up to rotate. On Monday morning I would only do essential academics with the kids; Reading, Writing, Math and Bible if you do that kind of thing. I would focus on follow through with the kids. After lunch was eaten and cleaned up I’d do any food prep I could for dinner or I’d throw something in the crockpot. After school was done I’d supervise the assigned chores. That would be my primary focus until things were running fairly smoothly about 75-80% of the time for a couple of weeks. Then I’d add other subjects back in one at a time. Many husbands don’t understand how they sound. Explain with something like, “Imagine if I told my close girlfriend I was frustrated with my marriage and her response was, ‘Well, then just quit. Get divorced.’ Would that make sense? What if you told me you were frustrated at work and I said, ‘Then resign/quit.’ Would you find that helpful and supportive? I think it sounds like all or nothing thinking which is impossible to live by.’ That’s how it sounds to me when I vent (something spouses should be able to listen to each other do) about my job (homeschooling.) It’s far more supportive and encouraging to me if you say something like, ________________________.†I would suggest things like, “What can I do specifically to help you?†As to your extended family critics, I’m wondering if you might want some approval from them that you’re unlikely to ever get. If you are, you should work on that. Homeschoolers all need to come to terms with the possibility that a loved one will never ever think homeschooling is a good idea. They may be critical from here on out. If that’s the case, you need a plan for how you and your spouse will handle that (If you decide homeschooling is the best option for your family.) You don’t have to endure people over stepping boundaries and being obnoxious by continuing to bring it up so they can criticize you. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Sorry for multiple posts, website wasn't working Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Ditto Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 So sorry to hear things are tough!! I had to talk with hubby a few times, asking him to be allowed to vent without questioning our decision to homeschool. I mean, when he says his day was tough I try to be sympathetic, I don't ask him to quit and look for another job. Sounds like your plate is full! Yes, kids can help with chores... and husbands too. Recently read "Help! I am married to a homeschooling mom" by Todd Wilson. Emphasizes the need of husbands to be involved, supportive and just help with whatever is needed. And yes, please don't apologize for venting. Reading "usual daily life" problems in homeschooling families helps me realize that I am not the only one who struggles. Life is not easy... having kids in school could possibly bring an entire new set of troubles. Hang in there! Hope your days get better!! Oh, and ignore the naysayers! They only put you down :( I always wonder if folks like them would be willing to pitch in for a housecleaner, a massage, or watch the baby while you school the oldest? Their input would be more valuable :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 I would request a full blood panel, including vitamin (D, B), ferritin, and immunoglobulin levels. I also have a kid who was extra sick last year. I've added a probiotic, but I'm looking for more ideas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 I would request a full blood panel, including vitamin (D, B), ferritin, and immunoglobulin levels. I also have a kid who was extra sick last year. I've added a probiotic, but I'm looking for more ideas. We stopped getting sick as much once we added cod liver oil. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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