Shelly in VA Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 My 13yo is steadfastly refusing to do her work in a timely manner. I mean, dragging out reading 40 pages of a novel into a 3.5 hour task (we're talking "The Mysterious Benedict Society" or "Lucky", not "Anna Karenina"). Every day. For the past week and a half. Answering review questions so slowly that a snail could write faster, then claiming she wanted her handwriting to be legible. Stuff like that. Then she asks this afternoon to go to a friend's house. I said, fine, work for 45 minutes on your reading and show me that you're making a serious effort, and you can go to Kimmy's and finish the reading tonight. She agreed, then read 8 pages in 45 minutes. Help!!! I think I need Calgon, or therapy, or a sabbatical, or all three. Shelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beansprouts Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 Then she asks this afternoon to go to a friend's house. I said, fine, work for 45 minutes on your reading and show me that you're making a serious effort, and you can go to Kimmy's and finish the reading tonight. She agreed, then read 8 pages in 45 minutes. What if you had told her she could go after she read x number of pages? Other than that I'm :lurk5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 Yeah, I think I would say "You have to do X number of pages/problems/assignments before you can do fun stuff." She'll speed up quick when she discovers that she's used the whole day on school and can't go to her friend's house. I consider that to be completely fair--you don't want her to be in 7th grade for the next 4 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy in NJ Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 No fun stuff, zero/nada/nothing, until her school work is done. No TV, no screen time, phone time, outside play, or play dates until all of her work is done. period. I think you actually may have lowered the bar when you allowed her to drag her feet all day then get rewarded with a play date after reading for such a short period of time. My advice is to not allow any more play dates until she is consistently able to complete her work in a reasonable amount of time. When children drag their feet like that, it doesn't just extend their day, it extends your day as well. You're not free to "move on" and relax with the thought that you have to make sure she completes her assignments. I just wouldn't allow it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H.S. Burrow Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 For assigned reading, I divide the total number of chapters by the number of days (or weeks) I expect it to be completed and that is their daily (or weekly) assignment. You could also divided the number of pages by the number of days for daily reading assignments. If *any* assignments are not complete - then they do *not* get to go to their friends' house, go to our local groups' park day, talk on the phone, check email, play on computer or game cube, or watch TV. For assignments other than reading we set a timer for 30 minutes for each subject. That is school time. When school time is complete *whatever* they did not finish is "homework" and *must* be completed before any fun stuff. This works for us (& my 13 yo DD) take what will help and ignore the rest!;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lwilliams1922 Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 I've got one of those in my house as well. 12 yr old dd. 2 days ago whined for 3 hours over a math assignment. Said it was too hard, said she needed more help (someone to do it for her) said it was a waste of time. Ithink the key is not to argue or re-negoitiate. Then she wanted to go somewhere with DH. Once she realized mom was not changing or debating she finnished it in 15 mins. It;s not that i don't help her but i let her know she has to make an effort and take some responsiblity for her own work before I step in to assist (not do it for her). I can talk about it now but belive me I waanted to pull my hair out that day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelly in VA Posted September 10, 2008 Author Share Posted September 10, 2008 Thanks, all - good suggestions and advice. Tomorrow is another day... Shelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 I'm using some of this advice as well, thank you. But don't pull out your hair! It's going soon enough on it's own. :) Maybe we should just bang our heads against the wall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelly in VA Posted September 10, 2008 Author Share Posted September 10, 2008 Head banging it is, b/c you're right, my hair needs all the help it can get already! Thanks for the laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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