Feeling overwhelmed - first time homeschooling mom with a newborn and toddler

[bfw0729]

We will start homeschooling in the fall. Three of my kids are transitioning from a private school - two 8 years olds and a 7 tear old.  I also have a newborn and 2 year old. I have been planning and organizing for a few months and for the most part am "ready" to start this journey. 

 

I have been wanting to homeschool for years, and very recently I have been feeling overwhelmed with the thought of starting this new chapter and dealing with two young children. I really want to use the SWR program and BFSU science curriculum, but they require some planning ahead of time. I have been organizing the SWR program for the last couple of months so that I'm prepared to start at the end of August. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed because I am mostly new to this (we have been working on math and reading all summer, which has gone well) and I'm starting out with five kids. My friends/family in my life tell me this is crazy to do. I have such  a strong desire to school my children. I am excited to do this and so are they, but I have a newborn on my hands, plus a very active two year old. I guess I'm looking for a little support in this or advice. 

 

Thanks so much.

[beka87]

Hi, there....the truth is that home schooling is often overwhelming.  You aren't crazy (or maybe we all are? :)  ) , but this journey is not an easy one.  I have a 7 year old, a 4 year old, and a barely 2 year old...not quite your kid load, but I deal with a lot of back pain and a husband who is gone more than he is home.  Every day.  The trick for me is to take things a day (or an hour) at a time and not get myself too married to the way a curriculum is laid out.  If you've picked curriculum that you feel is the right choice for you, your children, and your family in general, then give it a whirl.  Just don't be afraid to admit that something isn't working.  It isn't a failure on your part to change curriculum, or change the way you use curriculum.  Do what is right for your family right now.  You know your children better than anyone....and I'd bet that it will all be fine.

 

Home schooling may be difficult sometimes, even a lot of the time, but it is a unique opportunity to feed the minds and souls of your children.  No matter what the day has brought - if it went swimmingly or crashed and burned - make sure you look for the bits to savor.  There is always something sweet to store away in your heart, to lean on when it feels like everything is just falling down around you.  Don't be afraid to ask for help, don't be afraid to look for support (here and in "real" life), and don't be afraid to rest.  I am sure you know your children well...harder will be to know yourself, to know when you need to break for a long weekend, or drop a subject for a bit, or take a full two weeks off to reevaluate or just rest.  Rest is an essential ingredient to successful home schooling. 

 

Take time to do beautiful, relaxing things together.  Poetry tea time, quality read-alouds, time spent in nature, family game night, family movie night....savor, remember?  Savor every bit of it because it will make that darned math page bearable tomorrow.  Make use of time that the little people are napping - do something like math that requires you there next to a child giving your full attention.  Send one eight year old off to play with the two year old, then switch off.  Work out a schedule that you think will be doable, and then go back and tweak it as necessary.  Let the schedule be something that keeps you all on track,but doesn't tie you down.  Make sure that you include independent work for the older two where you can.  Keep it on a checklist for them and tell them that if Mommy has to stop school to tend a little person, they should work on completing that check list.  That stops school from halting completely because baby needs to nurse or the two year old just dumped ALL the cheerios all over the floor.  AGAIN! ;)  Have activities ready for the two year old that only come out one at a time and only at school time.  Call it school - I bet your two year old will feel all grown up and included if you word it like that (mine does!).

 

Just take it slow in the beginning and let yourself learn what works and what doesn't.  You will all find your rhythm after a while.  And you won't regret your choice to home school, even on the bad days, if you keep your eyes on what matters, on what has been accomplished, and on what is beautiful, right now, in your children, your family, and yourself.

 

Blessings, Mama, you'll be fine. :grouphug:

[rose]

You can do it! Don't let the naysayers say otherwise. They've just never seen it done.

 

If you look at my signature you'll see that I've got a crazy age split. My four littles can be such a handful. We can still get work done. It'll take you a little while to find your groove and you'll probably struggle at little at first but it is possible. Toddler proofing your house will make a difference but also try to plan some special school time activities to keep your toddler busy and stimulated during school time. If you newborn is really tiny keep in mind that you're probably feeling overwhelmed because everything in life is overwhelming for the first couple of months after you birth a baby. Also, good discipline of your older three will help a lot. They can rotate entertaining the toddler.

[Musicmom]

:grouphug:  You can do this!! You might have some frustrations here and there, but that is normal; don't be discouraged.  You will find a routine and system that works for you. :) Here are some random thoughts and ideas that come to mind from my homeschooling years--perhaps they will help you:

 

1. You can homeschool with a baby in your arms. I remember many moms of multiples talking about this. You can be in the recliner with your baby and have your other children gathered around you or in the same room--and you can teach and direct them, read to them all, etc. A friend of mine with 6 kids taught her older 4 while she was pregnant with the youngest two (fraternal twins) and on bedrest. I asked her how in the world she managed, and she said it was easier than she thought it would be--she didn't go anywhere, she had the children do chores, and she had them come to her where she schooled them in bed!

 

2. I used to put my 2-yr-old daughter in her high chair with special tray toys to play with while I taught my ds. A lot of times she made a racket, but it worked pretty well. Later I put her in her booster chair at the table with preschool workbooks, coloring books, or just paper to draw/scribble on (her "school" hee hee).

 

3. At a HS conference I listened to a mom of 13 talk about having special toys for the toddlers that only come out during school hours. You can even have different special toys for each day of the week. And if they are educational or creative toys that's even better.

 

4. Some people school in a room that is next to, and can be gated off from, a room where the toddler plays. 

 

5. Often moms of multiples create schedules for everyone that allow them time to care for infants and toddlers, time to school the older children, and time to get other things done. It can help everything run smoothly. There's a book called Managers of Their Homes* that has helpful tools for this, if you feel you need a resource.  I used it even though I only have 2 kids! :laugh:   

 

6. Another thing moms of many do is enlist their older children's help with household chores and with entertaining toddlers and holding babies.  Your olders are at an age where they are likely to be very accepting of schedules and working together to help Mom, especially since they are excited about homeschooling. (Mine were very accepting.)

 

7. And if you get sick... well, another homeschooling friend of mine, who had 7 young kids at the time, told me how she got through the stomach flu! She put all the kids in the master bedroom with their school books, toys, etc. and lay down on the floor in front of the door, so no one could leave without her knowing!  :lol:

 

Anyway, I would just encourage you to go for it and implement your plans! You will hit your stride. :001_smile:

 

*By the way, since I am done homeschooling, I'm in the process of starting to sell my materials. If you are interested, I still have the Managers of Their Homes book, just haven't gotten around to listing it in the Classifieds yet. I think it's still in great shape. This is what it is:  http://www.rainbowresource.com/proddtl.php?id=003890

 

[Miss Tick]

I would be happy to email you my checklist for BFSU if it would help (pm me). I am working my way through the book a second time with my youngest. When we finish a lesson, before I put the book away I look through the next lesson to see what I need, how many lesson periods I think it will take, library books for strewing about, etc. The book is planned for three years, which is a pretty slow pace, so science might be a task to be "flexible" about as you are getting started.

 

Good luck with everything! The Hive is here to help!

[OneStepAtATime]

Hugs.  Your kids are young.  You have time.  One big mistake a lot of first timers make is to overload everything at the beginning and then everyone gets burned out.  Once of the great things about homeschooling is the flexibility.  Love the suggestions upthread.  I agree and suggest that If you can, see about doing the following:

 

1.  Get to a homeschooling convention.

2.  Schedule your days so Fridays are Fun Fridays.  Make that day a fun day, playing mathy games, watching fun educational TV programs, taking walks, taking naps, listening to audio books while everyone plays, etc.  Things you don't have to plan ahead of time much at all.  Actually pull out your calendar and write it in.

3.  SCHEDULE IN TIME TO PLAN AND PREP.  This is your job.  You need time off from parenting and teaching to actually prep for your job.  Is there a homeschooled teenager in your area that could come over twice a week to watch the kids while you prep and take some time for yourself?

4.  Contact local homeschooling groups and see what they have to offer.  There may be some fun things for your older kids to do while you focus on the littles.

5.  Make sure you and your DH on the same page.  This is work.  This is hard.  It can also be hugely rewarding but this is a full-time job and then some.  You don't have the administrative support and resources of a standard school so it is all on your shoulders.  Make sure your DH recognizes that and is supportive of you taking time off at least for a few hours at least once a week.  He watches the kids or you hire a babysitter and you go sleep or walk around the park or hang out at the library or visit friends or whatever.  If your own mental health isn't there, your kids AND you will suffer.

6.  Don't panic and feel like you are ruining your kids if you aren't doing piles of seat work every day.  What is happening in most schools these days is age inappropriate, IMHO.  Take time to explore and pursue interests, hone skills, have discussions.  

7.  Start an apprenticeship for chores with your olders.  Make it a fun bonding time.  Pick one thing to work on until it is truly mastered.  Don't assume they can figure it out or will understand just from watching one time.  Show them step by step what you expect and have them shadow you while you walk through it.  Be very patient.  Explain what is something you just prefer doing a certain way and what is something that HAS to be done that way for safety or whatever.  Work with them each day on learning what is expected of them.  This can take time.  Play music.  Share stories while you work.  Come up with a list of what they are expected to do for that chore before they have completed their apprenticeship and passed on to journeyman status.  Give them a certificate when they can do the chore completely on their own and can do it consistently.  Again, make this a positive.  I think one reason kids resist doing chores so much is that the approach is more negative than positive and independence is expected before children are fully sure of what they are doing.  In fact, at our house I changed the word "chore" to house maintenance since chore had developed a negative connotation, and we all participate in house maintenance.  If you take the time to do this, they can help out, they will be developing healthy life skills and you can use it as positive bonding time.

[Tsuga]

You had my empathy at "a newborn and a toddler". 

 

Whatever happens, remember, take it easy on yourself and remember to get help. There is a reason we pay nannies and teachers: it is work. And it's rare for someone to teach a multi-leveled one-on-one math tutoring session with ages 0-12 present. So do not feel like you aren't managing if you ask for help.

 

Asking for help is the managing. That's what good managers do. They delegate and organize.

[mamiof5]

I might not have as many good suggestions as others, since I am homeschooling 3 of mine and the last year hasn't been easy with pregnancy and now a 9 month old. But I can share that I always wanted to homeschooling my oldest and never did, since I had a baby and 2 more under 3.5 years old. I regret not trying it because I was too busy with the rest. You can do this!! You'll figure out something. Good luck!!

[bfw0729]

I really appreciate everyone's suggestions and the raw truth that homeschooling can be overwhelming.

 

I think I have my expectations set too high. I feel such a huge responsibility. I hope I'm able to guide their learning successfully and be able to make it fun at the same time. I'm not entirely into crafts and projects and know that I need to be in order for them to like homeschooling. To be honest, I cringe at the thought of messy art crafts because they require time to clean up. My 8 year olds are pretty good about cleaning up when told, but I could easily see them escaping while I'm dealing with other fires. 

[beka87]

For the record, arts and crafts are not a requirement for happy home schoolers.  I suggest getting the older kids some how-to books and supplies and letting them teach themselves something useful, like sewing or crocheting.  Don't force the crafts....my policy is one or two history projects every 6 weeks or so.  Science activities when they look easy, appropriate to how our day is going, and like something I would enjoy, too.