Would you do this?

[teamturner]

I retract my original advice since I've read that your sister is not looking to reconcile but probably has a bad agenda.

 

I vote do not go under any circumstances!

[Carol in Cal.]

I did.

 

I would never have been like your sister, but I would not have had the same absolute respect for others raising their children as they see fit that I do now.

 

I have one brother who is like this. He has no idea how to keep children safe. He took 3-4 of his neices/nephews for a hike in the Sierras a couple of years ago and just marched off, without looking to see whether they were together or keeping. My other brother and I realized this when we saw them, high above us. The doofus brother walked across a clearing, pretty quickly. We waited and waited and waited to see the children follow him across, or to see him come back for them, and neither happened. We were really alarmed, and my other brother literally ran up the mountain to catch up and pitch in.

 

But the doofus boy was not malicious, just utterly clueless. I don't think that that gives him a pass--I no longer allow him to take DD anywhere alone. But I don't interpret it as evil, either. Not evil, just unacceptable.

 

It doesn't excuse her behavior, but you might want to try to think through whether she is like this as well. And then the question becomes whether or not you can go along on this trip in such a way as to ensure your children's safety and well-being or not. It is quite a favor for your sister to offer. It does sound like she is trying to reach out in some way. I think your DH is right about not getting kids to think that it is normal to cut off family--that should be considered in the mix here.

[LibraryLover]

My dh is ready to completely cut her out of our lives. I do not want to do that because I feel it is wrong.

 

Is it worth causing a rift between you and your dh? He seems to have some pretty strong feelings here. And he's the one you have to live with - not her. Do you think it's possible that once you look past his anger, he could honestly be trying to protect his wife and family here??? Maybe you could just view it more as taking a break from her for a time while you and your family sort out feelings and try to figure out what's really going on here and come up with a strategy for dealing with her in the long run. There are many, many options here. But the most important thing, seems to me, is that you and dh are united in whatever you decide to do.

 

He came to the independent conclusion that they are all insane.

 

Here's another yellow flag going up for you.;)

 

There ya go.

 

Your sister is insane.

[Jennifer3141]

I would say that just based upon your DH's feelings, you cannot accept. You do not need that kind of division in your family.

 

Jen

[PeterPan]

Williamsburg isn't that great a trip, and it's pretty obvious your sister has ulterior motives. For something unbelievable, like a trip to Egypt, sure I might put up with it. But for just Williamsburg? No way. I just went there, btw, last fall with my dd. It's fine, but it's not so amazing to be worth lots of hassle. Sounds like she's got bad motives anyway, either personally very confused (making up for her own feelings over not having kids) or pernicious. Why would you put yourself in that situation? I'd trust your dh's judgment on her and toss.

[cathmom]

I did.

 

I would never have been like your sister, but I would not have had the same absolute respect for others raising their children as they see fit that I do now.

 

 

 

 

Yes, this is part of the problem, not so much that I changed when I had dc, but that none of my sisters have their own dc, and dh is an only child. In fact, at one point, a different sister was going to write a book about how to raise children!!!!! So they all know exactly how to do everything.

 

She doesn't have any clue what my life is like. She is joined at the hip to my father, who believes he is a world class scientist who understands everything. There are definite reasons I moved 4 states away from these people, and that was back when I still got along with my sister!

 

I told dh tonight, "Forget what I said last night! It's not worth it."