Why am I hesitating?

[Maus]

Last year, a brand new charter school opened about a mile from my house that specializes in Autism Spectrum students.  DD10 and I went to their open house last week, and many things about it look great.  The key selling points to me are that all students attend a social skills class every day, and she would have access to an OT.

 

Our insurance won't pay for an OT, and she's 2E, so she managed to score one point too high to get an IEP under state guidelines, so we don't have access to services through the district.  So that's tempting.

 

This charter says they offer differentiated classes, so that she could work above grade level for math and below grade level for Spelling, etc.

 

I know that part of the reason I'm resisting is that when I asked how well the graduates of their parent school (an hour north of us) have integrated into public school or college, they dodged the question, and I got the impression their most successful students to date have found jobs and/or found a vocational school they could attend.

 

For DD, the most appealing thing is that she hopes she might find friends she can relate to.  She hasn't found any through any of the co-ops or partnerships or extra classes we've tried so far.

 

I'm not sure this would do that.  She is very high-functioning.  She still might not "fit in."

 

But on the other hand, she has some anger issues, and working memory issues, etc. that they can address that I currently don't know how to address.  Can I learn how?

 

I can't decide if what they offer that we need outweighs what they either don't offer, or what they don't do as well as homeschooling does, kwim?

[Ella]

Can she go shadow for a day? That would probably give her and you a much better idea of whether it is a good fit. 

[OneStepAtATime]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

I agree, could she shadow for a day or two?  Would it be possible to attend a school function and meet some of the other parents, too?  Maybe ask some questions of them?

 

If you did decide to put her in, it doesn't have to be forever.  If it isn't working, she can still come home.  

 

I would probably specify a specific amount of time that you and she would really try hard to make it work, though.  Every child has a bad day, or even a bad week.  That's just life.  Unless it is something truly earthshatteringly bad, I would want to be mentally prepared and my child, too, that just because there was a bad day doesn't mean the school is bad and it is time to pull out.  Give it a specified amount of time and then both of you reevaluate if this is a good fit or not.

[PeterPan]

Can she go part-time?  The charter schools around here will let you do that (spectrum and LD-focused schools both).  

 

I toured an autism charter school in our town and there were some amazing, amazing things about it.  I think your concerns about differences in functioning levels are valid.  Not to point out the obvious, but the charter school flies by selling people on coming and getting the money their coming brings.  In other words, they'll tell you anything.  Whether they can actually deliver to your satisfaction is a different story.  

 

If that validates your concerns, I think you're right.  At least that was my take, not having used them.  I think they'd be all the good you hope and maybe not live up to everything you imagined or dreamed at the same time, kwim?  That's why part-time could be good.  Nuts, I learned things just by seeing how they structure their days, how they build routines.  There were things that were amazingly well thought out.  If you can find a way to connect with that at least some, it sounds like it would be worth it to you.

[Maus]

I think I'll check on both possibilities: shadowing for a day, and attending part-time. Thank you all for those suggestions. And for validation of my concerns.

 

All the selling points at the open house were based on how they feel they outshine public school, which didn't really tell us anything, so we probably do need a way to see for ourselves.

[OneStepAtATime]

Good luck. Let us know how it goes. Best wishes.

[Lecka]

This is something that is hard for me to understand and I don't completely understand it.  

 

But, my son is not necessarily on a track of being at an academic level where it is reasonable to set regular high school academics or college academics as a goal.  He is still young and everyone wants to have high expectations for him.  But at the same time -- he is not someone where you think "well of course."  Really right now I think it would be unusual if he performs at a high/abstract level in history or literature.  I have higher hopes for math and science, but I do not think we fail if he does not go through high school academics.  And lots of kids make leaps or keep steadily progressing, too.  

 

But, what is so strange to me.... we see other kids where I am around them a little, and they are capable of grade-level academics right now.  They have got good academic skills and are able to do regular classwork.  

 

But my son can seem like he has better social skills compared to some kids.  He can seem like he has an easier time doing some things.  He can be more flexible than some kids.  

 

So I cannot think, that if a certain child has grade-level academics, then that child is ahead of my child in every area.  It is just not true, and it will be awkward if I talk about going to the local zoo trick-or-treating day, and how well my son did, when for some people, they are not at a point of going yet.  

 

So I would not look too much at numbers of kids who transition to a regular academic level, because that may not apply to everyone -- it may not be a failure not to meet that goal.  

 

But what about your child?  If that is a goal that makes sense for her, can it be her plan?  Do they have a plan where the goal is to get her to this point?  

 

If your goal is a regular public school or college ----- then what does she need to reach that goal?  If you say this to the school, what do they answer?  In their opinion, what are the key skills she will need?  Will they teach those skills to her?  Can they teach those skills to her more effectively than you can teach them to her?  

 

I think the main thing is to think about your goals, and focus on that.  Don't focus so much on what outcome other kids have.  B/c maybe they do not have the same outcome as their goal.

 

If it was a college-prep high school then you would not go in feeling comfortable to hear about a low college-attendance rate.  But if the kids all have individualized goals and individualized plans to get to their goals, then you just need to know if they are meeting the needs of kids similar to your daughter.  

 

At the same time, you might not want her to be the *only* child there who is at her academic level.  But if there are kids there whose parents do not think that regular high school is even something they want for their kids (which could be for a variety of reasons), I don't think it is fair to hold that against the school.  

 

But I do think you need to visit, see how your daughter likes it, and find out just what the situation would be for your daughter.  

 

I think, too, if you have academic goals for her, you need to be on top of it.  Something I have seen with people who just work with special needs ---- they may be great at meeting kids where they are and making progress.  They may have no idea about age-level or grade-level expectations.  B/c they work with mixed ages, and they do not spend their time with one age of kids.  This is why (in our case) the classroom teacher (or a classroom teacher) attends the IEP meetings.  B/c she will be the only one who can say "this is what we expect in this grade" in academics, behavior, how long to sit still, how well to listen, how many re-directions to need.... the special ed teacher may know exactly how many and what kind of re-directions are currently being done, but not know how that fits into a certain grade.  Frex -- a kindergarten teacher might re-direct a student to follow a direction, and it is no big deal.  It might be a big deal for a teacher to give the same re-direction to a 3rd grader.  

 

So if you want her to go to regular high school, or be at a level to be able to (whether you choose to or not, for other reasons), you want someone at the school to have a list (or idea) of skills that they think kids need to master in order to succeed in that environment.  Then they go backwards from there, and build up skills to get to that point.  

 

This is how it was approached when we were doing my son's Kindergarten readiness.  Certain Kindergarten skills were goals (mostly in group attending, classroom routines, following a group instruction, and things like that) that would not have been goals if we didn't want him to go to Kindergarten.  B/c if he does not need to follow a group instruction, why prioritize it as a goal over other worthy goals?  But if he needs to and he doesn't know how, and it is a key skill for Kindergarten, then we had better make it a higher goal than some other goals that are not key to functioning in a Kindergarten setting, even if they are important for other reasons and very worthwhile.  

 

But, I do not feel like this, but I can see being in a position where I feel like 10 goals are skills are most crucial for my child.  But for him to be in a school/classroom environment, then 8 of those goals have to be squeezed out in favor of goals that are oriented around succeeding in a school/classroom environment.  At my point -- the skills that are school oriented ARE also general life skills.  But if I felt like he was spending a lot of time working on goals that were just about being in school but not general life goals, and that we were skimping on other things just for the sake of having him be in a classroom setting -------- I would not like it.  And -- this is something that is a pitfall to watch for with a public school.  It may not be as much of a pitfall with this charter school.  But if this charter school's purpose, in distinguishing itself from a public school, is that this pitfall is prevented ------- then they may not exactly have a mindset where they prioritize getting all kids to be school-ready with a goal of attending school.  You just want them to be able to do what your daughter needs -- and if that is getting her ready for another school, then you want them able to do that.  But it really may not be their overall goal for all kids ----- for this reason, too, plus the practical reasons of some kids being more appropriate to go in different directions.  

 

I think you will see, though, either there are kids similar to your daughter, or not.  If not ----- is it still good?  Could your daughter be the start of something?  If she goes, might other kids enroll (if you have any friends or anything)?  Are the teachers wonderful?  Can she have friends even if they have a lower academic level (or is that maybe not so likely)?  Can you see what her group for social skills would be like -- does it seem like a close level, or just not a close level?  

 

If it is just not the right fit for your daughter, then it is just not the right fit.  If they are not willing to do some things, they are not willing.  But they might be very willing, and they might have some more socially advanced kids in some ways, even who are not at as high of a level in other ways.  It might also just be a nice atmosphere, so you are happy for her to spend a little time there, even if it is not meeting all her needs ---- if it can just meet some needs that are not met by you at home, that alone can be worthwhile.  

 

I think if you go and have a good impression, you can very possibly work with them.  If you go and do not have a good impression, then oh well.  

[Maus]

Bumping to follow up. I was able to connect with some parents who are using or who have used this charter school. I also remembered a former neighbor who teaches ASD kids and his email address still works.

 

I learned that the parent school, about an hour away from us, is beginning to do good work.  They've been open about four years.  The parents of kids who are medium to low functioning are loving it.  The parents of kids who are high functioning, and particularly high functioning 2E, are far less pleased, feeling that their children's strengths aren't being encouraged as was promised.

 

The school close to us is in its first year.  It is having all kinds of problems getting going, firing 10 teachers since they opened, violent student behavior not managed well and parents not being notified when their children were injured, etc, and some problems specifically with the social skills program.

 

We are going to not enroll this year and watch to see if they get it together next year before we try it.

[OneStepAtATime]

Good luck.  I think, based on your findings, you are definitely making the right decision.

[Lecka]

Yeah, that does not sound like a good situation.